The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon, your food's getting cold.

I'll eat later.

Right now, I'm suckling

at the informative bosom of mother physics.

It's hot when Sheldon talks dirty.

So, I found this Web site where you send them pictures,

they sculpt your head

and make an action figure out of you.

How awesome is that?

Oh, let me see.

Yeah, you can pick your wardrobe.

You can even choose your accessories.

Leonard, you can get a little asthma inhaler.

Oh, this is neat.

Think about all the action figures

we've bought over the years.

It would be kind of cool to have ones that look like us.

Don't you think?

Yeah, if that's your idea of what's cool,

you should get one.

Yeah, so, I'm out.

What do you think, Sheldon?

Want an action figure that looks just like you?

Would it come with kung-fu grip?

No.

Don't waste my time.

You get that these are personalize action figures.

Honey, if you want one, just get one.

You're still out, right?

Yep.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

A hush falls over the crowd

as Cooper studies the board.

He makes his move.

He's dividing both sides by "I."

He's adding back the coefficient.

He has a value for "P."

He's plugging that back in.

He takes the derivative,

and he solves the equation.

The crowd goes wild.

Nobel! Nobel!

Cooper?

Nobel.

Kripke.

Don't look at my board.

What's that?

That's a drawing of a really cool train.

Don't look at that, either.

What do you want?

I have some bad news.

You're working on a grant proposal

for a new fusion reactor.

I'm working on a grant proposal for a new fusion reactor.

The university is only allowed to submit one proposal.

So they asked you to pack up your things and ship out.

That's hard cheese, Barry.

You're one of the good ones.

No, they're making us work together.

That's ridiculous.

I am one of the great minds of our generation.

I work on a level so rarified

you couldn't even imagine it.

I said stop looking at my cool train!

Hmm.

Kind of a strange place

to put a picture of you and Bernadette.

Well, I wanted everybody to know I love my wife.

And nobody to know I forgot to turn off the laser.

They're here.

Our action figures have arrived.

This is the best $500 I've ever spent.

$1,000 on action figures?

How can you afford that?

Easy-- his family's loaded,

and Bernadette has a great job.

My wife came with both fun bags and money bags.

Say hello to an exact scale model of me.

Oh, I'm not dark chocolate.

I'm melt-in-your-mouth caramel.

Oh, man.

Look at my nose.

Maybe it's a shipping problem.

What? Yeah.

Maybe Wesley Snipes and Toucan Sam

just got action figures that look like you guys.

This sucks.

I can't believe I wasted all that money.

Aw, and my girlfriend wouldn't let me get one.

Look at my face.

Do I look smug? I feel smug.

I hate it when you make me sit through all the credits.

Well, sometimes there's a secret ending,

like in The Avengers.

Yeah, but I don't think that's going to happen

in a documentary about the Holocaust.

They could show bloopers.

(Darth Vader's theme music from Star Wars playing)

Oh, no.

What is that?

That is Sheldon's

"I'm unhappy and about to destroy the planet" music.

Come on, let's just go to your place.

Well, wait, if he's unhappy, shouldn't we talk to him?

"Shouldn't we talk to him?"

Have you learned nothing in six years?

You doing okay, sweetie?

There is ominous music playing,

and there is an afghan over my head.

I don't know where you're from,

but where I'm from, that means I'm not doing okay.

Want me to make you some tea?

Tea is for when I'm upset. I'm not upset.

The university's forcing me to work with Kripke.

I'm outraged.

So, cocoa?

Yes, cocoa.

Do you have any idea what it's like to be paired

with someone who's so incredibly annoying?

Oh, teacher! Me! Me!

See, I did all this great work,

and now he's just going to come along and ruin it.

I am angrier than ever and filled with despair.

What beverage do you make for that?

Oh... no, no, no, I know this.

Uh...

hot apple cider with cinnamon sticks?

Yes, hot apple cider with cinnamon sticks!

What the frig, Cooper?

We were supposed to meet

in my office a half an hour ago.

And yet, now you're in my office.

Point: Cooper.

Welcome to the Thunderdome, Kripke.

We agreed to exchange copies of our work.

Let me see yours.

Why don't you show me yours first.

You think I just fell off the turnip truck?

We exchange at the same time.

How do I know you're not going to take my ideas

and publish them as your own?

How do I know you're not going to do that with mine?

Yeah, because I'm not interested

in getting published in Mad magazine.

Zingers fly fast in the Thunderdome, Barry.

Are we going to do this or not?

Thank you.

So, we read each other's work, meet again tomorrow?

Fine.

Nice try. This is blank paper.

And I am sure it's still more valuable

than whatever's in here.

Cough it up, Cooper.

Very well.

If this one's blank, too, I'm going to be furious.

Fine.

You!

Always bet on black.

Get that waste of money out of my face.

It's only a waste of money

if we don't play with them.

He's right, dawg.

Please, I'm working.

You know, there is a way we can get action figures

to look exactly like us.

Oh, yeah? How's that?

Two words:

3-D printer.

Wait, maybe it's three words.

No, hang on.

Okay, one word, a letter and a number and...

maybe a hyphen.

3-D printer.

I have always wanted a 3-D printer.

Of course you have.

They're an engineer's dream.

Anything you can design,

a 3-D printer can make out of plastic.

Yeah, but they're so expensive.

Oh, come on.

You deserve one.

You've worked hard to find a woman

who makes a lot of money.

Well, the prices have been coming down.

Oh, true.

They're practically giving them away.

You know, in exchange for money.

And we can make stuff we need for work with it.

Prototypes of my CAD/CAM designs,

specialized tools...

Not to mention Malibu Koothrappali

and his totally bitchin' dream house.

We don't need Malibu Koothrappali's dream house.

Really, smart guy?

Where's he supposed to park his sweet little Corvette?

The monkey in my tobacco study has taken to smoking a pipe.

I'm supposed to remove his brain to examine,

but it's hard because now he reminds me of my uncle.

You've been awfully quiet tonight.

Is everything okay?