Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark

It's holding, Captain.

Damn well better hold.

It's a pain in my rear to lug this thing

in here just cuz of a little drought.

And as our grief falls flat and hollow

upon the billion-blooded sea,

I pass upon serious inward-breaking

shoals rimmed

with a white-legged, white-bellied,

rotting creature.

It's Bukowski, idiot.

Huh?

Shut up and suck on that.

Jeez.

Shift it.

Break out the heavy-gauge rigging. We

need to get another couple lines sunk

into this thing. Okay. Hurry.

The Atlantic Ocean was on lockdown today

after the reappearance of another

Megalodon shark off the coast of Egypt.

Sources say a tugboat was thrown across

the Sahara desert.

Markets around the world plunged today

as the UN called for a worldwide voting

ban until the Megalodon can be stopped.

All trade routes in the Mediterranean

were closed after the attack to the port

of Alexandria, Egypt.

Water temperatures have steadily risen

all across the world, and climatologists

believe that possibly deforestation and

industrialization of emerging nations is

the main root cause of the problem. As

shipping lanes worldwide come to a

standstill, the economic impact has not

just been felt on a global scale, but on

a local level as well.

Fear has gripped the world as

intercontinental travel by both air and

sea has come to a grinding halt in the

aftermath of the brutal attack in the

Mediterranean.

How's it going down there, baby? We have

a couple of leaks, but nothing out of

the norm.

Okay, keep an eye on your pressure

readings. I'll be fine. Everything looks

good so far.

Is this submersible handling like it

should?

It looks like a shark, but it certainly

doesn't handle like one.

Stopping descent at 1,003 m.

Copy that, Nero. Green across the board.

Steady as she goes, my friend. It is

beautiful down here.

Is that a genuine comment or something

your word bank generated? I appreciate

symmetry, Rosie. I like that in my men.

Did you hear that, Jack? Yeah, Nero

loves his geometric figures. And

according to the topographic scans,

we're right where we were yesterday.

You're not smoking again, Jack.

That's a negative, honey.

You know I gave all that up.

Let's try some rolls, yes?

Would you guys agree 15 degrees? Agreed.

16-degree roll, Nero. How's that sound?

Remain buckled in, Rosie. Got it.

Okay, stabilize.

We can take that off the to-do list.

When we do meet the Megalodon

face-to-face, it's going to be a lot

tougher than that.

I am ready if you are, Rosie.

Speaking of the Megalodon,

the Coast Guard is reporting a flotilla

of Red Cross support ships were sunk by

the Meg in the mid-Atlantic.

Get this.

The injured they were transporting were

bleeding into the water.

Guess that'll do it. Oh my god. Yeah, I

know. It's the seventh attack in a week.

If Engelberg doesn't hurry up, our help

won't mean a damn thing. Rosie, I am

detecting something. Heads up, baby.

You've got company.

They are Otodus megalodon

juveniles, Rosie.

And it looks like they want to cuddle. I

might be getting a little claustrophobic

in my old age, but I am not appreciating

this cuddle session.

Rosie,

Rosie, watch your hull pressure. The

hull will be crushed if they hold on

much longer.

Rosie, quick. Deploy eel skin. Nero,

initiate eel skin.

Certainly, Rosie.

I'll leave the percentage up to you to

shake them off as fast as you can.

What's your battery life, Rosie? You

still have power up there. It's not

going to take that much to scare them

off, I hope.

Now you, Nero. Deploying eel skin.

All right. Well, now we know that works.

Voltage was at 34%, Rosie. Store that

info for later, Nero. We're going to

need as much data as we can get.

Certainly, Rosie.

Not bad, baby.

Not bad at all. We're getting pretty

good at this, huh?

Let's not get cocky.

That's when things always seem to go

sideways.

My dad always said that

Rosie, get back up here. They need us

back at dry dock.

It's ready. Already?

All right, I'm ascending.

Copy that.

Zero median sea level. Okay, we're up.

Research vehicle

is on board. All stations secure.

Doctors.

Admiral Engelberg.

It's ready.

I dig it.

You would.

Dr. Turner, Dr. Gray,

time to go to work.

So, Admiral, everything up to spec? For

the most part. We've had to make a few

changes due to time.

Let me give you the nickel tour. Okay.

The teeth,

intermediate alloy steel.

This is an upgrade from the original

design.

We were able to increase the compression

strength to 40 KSI. 40?

We were hoping for a rating of 27. It's

going to have a hell of an overbite. The

pectoral pods are now fitted with a

complement of UGM-133 Trident II

ballistic torpedo. Really? Nuclear? Nah,

UN-approved non-nuclear warheads. We

couldn't get the okay to go nuclear, but

we're trying.

Oh, it is great. That means this puppy

can defend itself without having to ruin

our oceans with nuclear waste.

Here we go again.

What do you mean "Here we go again"?

I I mean I just want to say that

you know I'm not getting on my soapbox

but like being a vegan But if I was

There's a time and a place.

You know radioactive material was banned

by the London Convention of '72 then

again in '73

is riveted with your fascination with

the obvious but there really isn't the

time to say There's a time and place.

If I may continue the entire vessel is

still overlaid with the eel skin barrier

but the fins and pectoral edges are now

reinforced titanium.

What about the rest of the exoskeleton?

The rest of it is stainless steel with a

210 KSI pressure rating.

Yeah, it's the best we could do under

the circumstances but it'll still be

strong enough to go way beyond the

standard submarine crush depth. It's

amazing.

And

it's ready to launch.

It's what?

It's what?

I I haven't even installed Nero. This

thing hasn't even had sea trials. We can

have Mark 1 shipped out to us. We don't

have time to waste in dry dock. We've

got to get moving on this. We've lost

enough lives already including my

brother.

I don't like to lose.

I'm ready.

Excellent. We'll prepare to ship out

immediately. Oh, well.

Ready.

Rosie.

Rosie.