Workaholics

Yo! X Games!

What the hell's up, man?

This is Blake H.

And right over here is...

Ders H.!

And we're here to tell you that you need to consider

our new sport for this summer's X Games.

Freaking don't even consider it.

Just take it, you idiots.

- It's brilliant, all right? - Duh.

Basically what we've done is taken the sickest

and gnar-gnarest, most epic sports and mixed them together.

I'm talking rollerblading, I'm talking skateboard combined

to make Roller-skating... 2.

- The New Class. - Sick.

What?

DeMampsa, what up, bro?

Are you ready to rip?

I'm ready to rip!

Actually, I'm very nervous.

I don't think I'm wearing enough padding,

but I will die for you guys!

Freaking rock on. Ders, light it up.

Let's do this.

- Ready to go? - Ow!

- Little worried. - Ow!

Whoo!

All right, you got this, DeMamp!

- - Ders, punch it!

- We're about to hit the jump! -

- Whoa, dude! - Whoo!

- How did you land that, dude? -

Blake, tell me you got the shot.

- I got it... - You got the shot?

Oh! Ah!

Ow!

Great, Blake. I hope you're happy.

You lost the footie, and the X Games are in like four days.

Now we're gonna have to get a new cameraman for the next run.

No. Next run? There's not a next run.

- Blake's hurt, man. - Yeah, didn't you hear him?

I, like, fractured it in, like, six places.

I don't think my wrist will ever walk again.

Fine.

I'll freaking text Karl, have him film it.

He's not gonna be a bitch about it and go to the hospital

for no good reason.

Yeah, um, again, serious injury.

But it's okay 'cause I like to ride in ambulances.

I'm gonna steal drugs!

Get him out of my face!

I mean, I knew today was gonna end with an ambulance ride.

I just didn't think Blake would be the one in it.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means, like, you're always getting hurt.

- - Yeah. Yeah, right, Ders.

I get hurt all the time.

- - Dude! Hey!

Whoa, guys! Hey!

Hi, 911?

Yeah, it's Anders again.

Uh, look, can you tell your boy to flip a B?

We got another.

God, man, I can't believe I broke my wrist on my scratching hand.

Ders, will you just give me one little finger, please?

Dude, scratch your own butt.

I'm worried about Adam.

He probably should've gotten in the ambulance.

- He's got a concussion. - He's fine, dude.

No, he's not, he's showing all the symptoms...

Nausea, memory loss, mood swings.

Ew!

Who puked?

Answer me!

That was you. You just did it.

All right. Listen up, everybody.

Because of the little stunt these three morons pulled

in the parking lot,

corporate now wants us to take an online safety course,

which sounds super fun.

So it'll take about three hours, so after lunch,

just get to your cubicles...

- Who's the coolest? -

Who's the coolest? Who's the coolest?

Can't hear you. Going to sleep.

Oh, good night.

I'm her sister.

I'm Juliette. It's all good.

Oh, God, I think I'm still drunk.

Me and B-Rad just did a 12-hour shift at Spearmint Rhino.

That pig is still there just crushing hot wings.

- Sick. - B-Rad.

- That's sick. - I miss that guy.

Classic sleeper hold, huh?

Still funny.

I see that you've met my sister, Juliette.

She's going to be filling in for Jillian

while she's on National Guard duty.

- Cool. Freaking sick. - Yeah.

What the hell was I saying?

You were doing some BS speech about safety or something.

Dude, I knew this job was gonna be a complete dookie fountain.

- Dookie fountain. -

All right, well, this is how much fun we're gonna have.

Because if everybody passes their online safety course,

I'm gonna take you on a nature hike.

- Go walking? - That's lame.

I have a better idea.

I used to date this chick in the Navy.

She has a jump plane.

We can go skydiving.

- Are you serious? - What?

- Oh, we should go skydiving! - Finally.

Let's go skydiving!

- Let's go skydiving. - Guys. Come on, skydiving?

That's... that's not cool.

It's, like, so '90s.

What, are you kidding me? The '90s were awesome.

Like "Space Jam," "Doug," Lark Voorhies.

- Yup. - "Real World: Seattle."

When Stephen slapped Irene?

That was off the hook.

- It was. - Uh, Blink 182.

"What's My Age Again?"

- Yeah. - What is my age again?

- Are you serious? - How old am I?

Skydiving...

- Don't start chanting, please... - All: Skydiving!

Skydiving!

- Skydiving! - All right, okay, fine!

If you wanna go freaking skydiving, we'll go skydiving.

Yes! Yes!

- Yes, yes, yes. - Yes!

Yes, yes, yes.

Ew! Who puked?

Yeah!

This freaking safety test is impossible.

You're not even taking the test right now.

We just... We need to concentrate.

Do you not want to go on the field trip, dude?

Come on, it's gonna be super fun.

Dude, you know what happens on field trips.

Bus ride hookups.

- - This guy knows. Look.

You get your Starter jacket out, put your hand underneath,

and you make the pussy queef.

You don't have to tell me.

I've got history.

Ninth grade, yeah.

We took a field trip to "Fiddler on the Roof,"

and I "diddler" on the bus, is what I did.

- That's awesome. - Hi.

Uh, just taking a shot in the dark here,

but you drug addicts definitely have drugs, right?

Uh...

- Uh... yes. - Ahem.

- I can't hear you. - We got the hookup.

Yeah, I can't... It's just, your sister's

just kind of watching us like a hawk, so...

You're worried about Alice? She's obsessed with me.

She'll do anything for my approval. Watch this.

Hey, Alice, these guys over here are doing drugs.

- What? - Cocaine, you name it.

- No, no. - Just kidding.

I just didn't want to walk all the way over there.

So what are you getting me for lunch, peachy?

Well, actually, I was going to let this be a surprise,

but we're gonna get some El Pollo Loco tacos.

Uh, the thing about that is I'd rather have balls

in my mouth than eat their tacos.

'Cause she's a lesbian.

- Sick. - Thanks.

Go to Tina's Tacos. They're the best.

Tell Tina you know me and she'll give you that extra guac hookup.

- Stop touching my breast. - Vamonos. Mami's hungry.

- Mm! - Smoking in Alice's office.

Okay, so you all passed.

Man, this sucks that you're only gonna work here for two weeks.

- I really love you. - Yeah.

No, two weeks... that's my limit on any job, dude.

- Mm. - Whoa.

You guys didn't tell me that a famous actress worked here.

- What, Didi? - Yeah.

Oh, no, she's not a famous actress.

- No, it's Didi. - Oh...

- Yeah, she's a lizard. - She used to be.

Look at this. Check this out.

Ooh. She is one bad mama-jamma.

Didi's, like, a lesbian icon.

What, bitch? You gonna stand there and stare

or you gonna sock it to my pocket like a space rocket?

Oh, my stars. You weren't kidding.

- Nope. - That's her, isn't it?

All your friends are dead. Now you are too.

Dude, this puts Didi in a whole new light.

I think I just found my...

bus ride hookup.

Oh, no, no, no, no, Ders.

I'm the one who's gonna be slipping Didi my digits.

And I'm not talking about my phone number.