Hot Bot

Welcome to International Financial News.

I'm Lindsay Hawthorne.

The German-based Hot Bot Corporation

continues to try to get a foothold in the U.S. market,

as they're currently beta-testing a new line

of realistic sex robots for American consumers.

So far, the Hot Bot Corporation

has not been granted U.S. patent approval

for the radically advanced technologies

controlling the robots.

But Hot Bot executives

are hoping to make their case

to Congress in the coming months.

This is the Hot Bot Corporation,

where the sexual pleasure industry

will soon be revolutionized by providing

safe, disease-free,

and uninhibited erotic satisfaction

for discriminating consumers.

The hypoallergenic Hot Bots are designed

at a state-of-the-art facility in Germany

and built in Japan.

I'm here with the inventor of the Hot Bot,

Dr. Heinrich Schaffer.

Hello. Thank you, Nigel.

Allow me to introduce Sophia.

Here she comes. The excitement is palpable.

This is the latest Hot Bot prototype.

As you can see, it is very realistic-looking

and very alluring, but it is just a robot,

not a beautiful young woman.

I like to think of it as the perfect marriage

of art and science.

In German, we have a word for this concept:

I've been told that we can interview it... or her.

Is that correct?

Yes, of course, but keep in mind,

she is not one of the more talkative models.

Sophia, what would you say is your job?

My job is to please you.

Oh.

Uh, the, uh, robot's breast is, uh,

it's very supple and realistic-feeling.

It's the space-age polymer

that makes the boobies so tactile.

Are you capable of feeling love?

Yes. But like humans, it can overload my system.

Your heart rate is increasing.

- - You are becoming erect.

No, no, no, I'm not.

The Hot Bot's analysis is always accurate.

To the viewers at home, and if my wife,

if you're watching,

I am an objective news reporter

performing a journalistic investigation

of a technological breakthrough.

- - You are 92% erect.

You are very well endowed.

- Would you like to have sex? -

The, uh, economic recession in, uh, Europe,

uh, has been hard on the, uh, economy.

- Uh... - Would you like

to have oral sex?

Oh, actually, I think we should cut that.

No, no, no. Keep rolling.

This is an excellent demonstration

of the Hot Bot's erotic positivity algorithm.

- -

- Yeah? - Dr. Schaffer? Guten Tag.

So, who else have you shown this to?

- - Just me?

Unairable, you say?

That's good. Because you know what?

I'll agree to help you on this, okay?

I'll solve all your problems, but I just have one condition.

- I want one. -

You heard me. I want one. I want every option on it.

I want it all first class.

Anything you can put on it. And by the way, no viruses.

No, something I can catch.

Well, then, send me Bardot.

One quick question.

Is it possible to adjust the breasts?

...flight 329 from Tokyo.

We're clear. Taxi down runway...

Welcome to Salt Lake City.

If we serve food this hot, we'll get in a lot of trouble.

- Don't spit on the food, bro. - I'm not.

I'm just cooling it down.

Don't. Please don't do that.

It's so unsanitary.

Hyah.

You're insane.

Oh, this makes me really uncomfortable.

This is Tandem.

Yeah.

The angel has fallen.

Over.

Pleasant.

Ow! This is heavy!

Hey, batter, batter batter.

Welcome to Battertown Fish & Donut,

where every day is Fry-Day.

Would you like to try our new triple double?

Huffy?

Huffy, is that you?

- Oh, fuck. - Yeah.

Don't worry. I got one in the cannon.

What do you wanna eat?

All right. You listen, I talk.

Give me a double fry, extra crispy fish basket,

Vanilla Gorilla shake and a Dew,

and make sure it's carbonated.

If you give me a flat Mountain Dew,

I'm gonna come in there and shit in the fryer.

And a side order of chick nuts.

- You want anything, baby? - No, no, I'm good.

You sure?

One phlegm-bay coming up.

Nard.

Yeah, we have the package

in our possession. Okay.

Should we see what's in the box?

No.

It says "none of our business"

in about 50 different languages.

Let's open the box.

That's a good call.

- Hi, Limus. - Hey, whoa, whoa.

What the fuck was that?

- You really have to do that? - Well, he's my friend.

You said, "Hi, Limus" by his name.

- Shut up. - No, no, no.

Tell me the truth. Did you puff on the Huff?

Knock it off, Rodney.

My greatest creation.

Rodney will love it. Mwah.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Hey, "Roidney."

- What? - I've got your dumb food.

What'd you just say?

I just said I got your dumb fucking food.

- Little fucker. - Stop it, Rodney.

He's my friend.

- Stop. - Stop, Rodney, come on.

If you say hi to her one more time,

I'm gonna give you a red sock.

- So sorry, Limus. - Give me my food!

- Oh, you want your food? - Yeah, I want my food.

Does the ape-man want his banana?

What the fuck is wrong with you, tard?

You want the awesome sauce?

Hey, give me the fucking sauce.

Do you want my sauce?

- Shut the fuck up. - Bye, Limus. Bye Nard.

Fuck you.

Eat my dick!

Why aren't you two in the batter box?

Your appearance isn't customer-friendly.

Customers will not order from us

if they see you two failed fucking abortions.

Your shift is over.

Drain the vat and hump to the dump.

I think fried food makes him aggressive.

What the F, Koontz?

Hold on. Hold on.

Panda.

Well, why don't you have her?

I took the pill, Frazier, that's why.

Do you realize at most, I've got...

Because if I take another one in an hour,

I'm gonna have a hard-on until Arbor Day.

Do you understand... You know something?

This is beneath me, and I'm not going to do it.

I want you to find her and bring her.

Find her and bring her.

Just... What did I say?

Moron.

Where were we? Oh, yeah.

Now, you listen to me.

You got a half hour to heal, and then I'm using you

no matter what any woman.

Don't give me that look.

- - Oh, man!

Never had my ass beat by a sex doll before.

Oh, my God. I think...

I think she made me shit on myself.

- God. -

We gotta find her, we gotta find her.

What the hell, what the hell, what the hell, what the hell?

Feels like Van Damme with a vagina.

"A red sock

is when having unprotected anal intercourse.

The inner lining of the intestines

comes out of the body,