Inbred

Alright, I had planned on taking a walk around the garden

and showing you the lake.

Really Clive, I don't expect you to control the weather.

- Still, we can make much of it. - Indeed.

Let's just see what's been prepared.

- Lemonade. - Marvelous.

- Glass? - Please.

You really are quite beautiful, June.

And you really are quite a charmer, Clive.

The lemons were freshly squeezed this morning by by my staff.

- Really? - Yes.

- Excuse me, Mr. Willis? - Yes, Jack?

Can I get some of your lemonade, please?

No, you certainly may not.

It's become improper, Jack. Back to your chores.

Smart even, I never knew this quite.

More.

Is it also improper for me to stick my cock in your good lady's mouth?

- Jack, have you gone mad? - Yeah.

One sip, one sip, one sip.

- One sip of lemonade is all I wanted. - Jack! No!

Lemon fucking-ade.

Could've been fine.

Stupid fucking bitch.

Oh, they should have given him a lemonade, man.

Yeah, you noticed they go the fucking madman with an axe.

Oh, wait and see what he does with the bodies.

So fucked up.

Hey guys, guys, come on now, please. What did I say about swearing?

That it's funny.

Just put the phone away. Put the phone away, now.

Okay, well thanks.

Jeff, the SAT NAV is broken.

What's the matter with it?

It just says we are completely off the map.

Could it be isn't it updated or something?

How do you date it?

Plug it into a laptop.

Here, this is a trooper map, Coordinance Survey.

And they never lie.

There you are, you see? Mortlake.

Right up the end of this road. Carry on.

- Are we there yet, Jeff? - No.

I don't know why you bother her?

She ain't going to talk. She like a mute or something.

- Woah? What respect? - No, no, it means she gonna talk.

Woah! Didn't know you could talk, Tim.

Yeah! Cut it out man. Giving me a headache back there.

We don't want your life story, man. Alright!

- Ow! You fucking bitch! - Well, what's going on, huh?

Calm down, please.

Hey, Tim ..

- Got any sexy pics on your phone? - No, why?

Not? Well, you're a bump behind there?

- Is he always such a prick? - Yeah.

Oi Jeff, can we smoke? I definitely need a smoke, mate.

- Oi Jeff. Are we there yet? - No, twat, we're not fucking there yet!

Sorry.

- I think we're there, Jeff. Yeah. - Further up the road, I think.

Trust... trust. Yeah. Okay, further up. Keep going.

- Really? - Yeah.

Okay. Why is it not on here?

"The Dirty Hole"? That's charming.

Well, Mortlake is one of the north's oldest coal towns.

I suspect the name probably refers to mining.

You'll like that, yeah old Jeff?

The cottage should be straight up here.

Well, it's been certainly rustic, isn't it?

- Rustic? - This gonna be shit.

- Did you see that? - Yeah.

We have another ... another 200 yards. First one to see it gets a prize.

Everybody out.

Come out and get some fresh air.

Wonderful, huh?

No, I'm away till Monday. I called you not to tweet me.

Yeah. No, I can't decide. Yeah, alright, so. Just that ...

- Dwight, phone please? - What?

We haven't come all the way out here to look at another way of life

so you can miss it just cos you're chatting to late on the phone or

or viewing dirty pics, have we? Hmm. Phone please.

No, I'm getting licked from some idiot. Yeah, alright. Later.

Good lad. Okay. Same applies to everybody.

Just put your phones in the bag, so we can appreciate our environment.

- A fucking joke. - Okay. Thank you.

Great!

- What are you thinking? - What am I thinking?

Well, I think that I've stayed in better squats than this, Jeff, really.

Don't judge a book by it's cover, hmm.

Wow!

- What's this? - A poor house.

Shit cover. Shit book.

We need to locate the fuse box, that's all.

Hmm. That's odd.

Are you worried? Are you sure?

Come on.

Whoa! Get English thing, all right!

- What are you doing, Dwight? Stop it! - Oh, come on. I'm fucking joking around.

- No, you're not joking. If you want you can open the car all the way in and ...

- Stop it. - Oh, what's it all about?

- She was joking. - Dennis tried to poke ya?

- Alright, go on. - Chaotic, it is.

Oh, come on guys. Cheer up. We just got the old boiler going.

I know it's a little bit ramshackled and a little bit dusty.

We are not here on holiday, are we? This is the point.

Work together as a team. Pull together, as one.

And we can start by clearing this place up together. How about that?

Yeah, I'm not sleeping in this Jeff mate, it's a fucking shithole.

Yeah, seriously. Am I missing the tip?

Yeah, okay. I know it is a bit of a shithole, guys, but we are in now.

So we better get working together as a team.

And a good team that works together hard, plays hard.

Get all cleaned up and go down to the pub.

Yeah, can we wait outside. Please, Kate, come.

Jeff, what is your problem? I was just having a laugh.

Do you think it is wise taking these kids to a pub?

I mean, some of them have had alcohol issues. Now, Dwight would be a problem.

I wasn't going to get them pissed in giving message.

I was just trying to motivate them and have a bit of a laugh. Have a bit of fun.

Jeff, we are care-workers, we're not their parents.

Why do you always insist on alienating yourself?

- Alienate? - Yes, alienate.

You think I'm alienating people just

because I'm trying to impose a few rules, huh?

See, there you go again. Rules. Rules are meant to be broken.

These kids are heavy because they bite rules, Jeff.

Why don't just chill out, have some fun and call me about a slut like I did.

- Finished? - Yeah. I'm finished actually. Thank you.

Good.

Look at this stuff. Like it's been here for years. What is it?

We need this thing along.

Yeah, no I'm not walking down to the door. Hey fuck that.

Gosh!

Think there's something valuable in this one as well.

Valuable, you say?

- Yeah, I think so. - Alright.

Thank you chief.

Yeah, well done, guys. This is a very, very real achievement.

I think what this proves is that we,

we as a group from different backgrounds with different...

- Come to a point! - Thank you, Dwight.

From different backgrounds with different problems,

when we work together as a group, see we can really affect change.

Not really reflects well on each and everyone of you.

You may not know, but what you learn to do is turn your negatives into positives.

Let's go stay with you for the rest of your lives. As you get older and storm ...

Alienating.

Alright. Come on everyone. Cheer up.

Let's walk to the pub, can I see his name. We've been driving all day.

- He's taking a piss. - Less of the lip, Dwight.

- Find any of my craps in it, what it is? - Your what?

- My craps. - I told you to bring some proper shoes, Zeb.

What do you mean proper? Do you know proper? Can't get even in the UK.

- Hip? - Put you in 20 crib, Kate.

They must have something you can rob, man.

Yeah, agree.

I gave some girl an orgasm last night. She only puff inside and out.

- Okay now. Go all out wood. - What about it?

Well, if I set fire in it. Go off in seconds, huh?

The dirty hole.

Until one, guys.

Come on. In we go. That's it.

- Dwight, please behave, please. - Yeah, yes I will.

Hi there.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

You three, move. Get on to the back bar. Give guests who might sit down.

Move.

- There you go. - Thank you.

Thanks. Queen Pub.

I've had it called a few things in my time, but that's a new one.

1582 these were built. Used to be a stop-off road aye women.

These walls lives in Sumesides.

I bet they are. Quite amazing.

Lovely.

Right, I'll get the menu, then.

Right, who wants to drink?

- One. - Yeah, I'll have one of that, please.

- Two Cokes. Sam? - Coke.

- Tim? - Yeah, I'll have a coke. Thanks, Kate.

Now well, what are you up to?

Well, I could do with some hot food, actually.

- Did you see the sign? - Yes, yes, the hot food sign.

No. Sign says "not food", not "hot food".

- Not food either. - Right.

- We don't get it for that crown. - Umm.

We don't have fun delight food. We got scrunchions.

Oh, yes. Well, two bags of scrunchions then. Thank you.

- I'm starving. - Well, I'm starving too.

- Well? - Pub's special. Pork scrunchions.

I am afraid but there are two types. Hairy and smelly.

- Jeff, that's not funny. - It's alright, Kate. Go with the flow.

Plenty of food back at the cottage. Just gonna have to head off just without me.

Uhm mm. So much for their reward, then.

- Fuck me! Look at that! - How disgusting.

Home made there. Wife makes soup. Specialty.

Yeah. Taste great.

So then, what can I get you kids to drink?

Six cokes, please.

Don't sell coke, Miss. Not since... Well, as long as I can remember.

- I can make you a lemonade. - Fucking lemonade.

- Six lemonades then, please. - Right. One minute. I'll make a batch now.