Reviving Ophelia

[ PATTI SCIALFA'S "LUCKY GIRL" PLAYS ]

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE PUPPY YOU HAD?

IT WAS SUCH A CUTE LITTLE THING.

UM, OH. YOU NAMED IT BRENDA.

IT WAS BELINDA, MOM. HER NAME WAS BELINDA CARLISLE.

THAT DOG HAD THE WORST BREATH.

SHUT UP.

THE ONLY ODOR THAT SURPASSED IT WAS ITS GASEOUS EMISSIONS.

I LOVED THAT DOG.

YEAH, I JUST REMEMBER YOU NEVER PICKED UP AFTER IT.

I REMEMBER DRESSING THE TWO OF YOU UP IN MATCHING OUTFITS.

I REMEMBER YOU USED TO BE A CHUBBY LITTLE THING.

AND I REMEMBER YOU USED TO HAVE TEETH LIKE BUGS BUNNY.

I REMEMBER THE TWO OF YOU JOINED AT THE HIP.

THAT'S WHAT I REMEMBER.

YOU ARE SO SPOILED.

KELLI, EASY ON THE FROSTING.

IS THAT MY FROSTING?

MM-HMM. DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO HURT YOU, KELLI.

BUT IT'S SO GOOD.

WELL, FLATTERY WILL GET YOU...

ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE.

GIVE ME SOME.

OH, THAT IS REALLY GOOD.

Marie: I WANT YOU TO GIVE KELLI A BREAK.

YOUR COUSIN'S HAVING A HARD TIME. I'M NOT SPOILED.

I JUST THINK IT WOULD BE BETTER IF MY CAKE

DIDN'T HAVE FINGERPRINTS ALL OVER IT. SHH.

OH, NO. YOUR CAKE MAY NOT BE PERFECT.

HERE YOU GO, PRINCESS.

IT'S NOT THE BEST WRAPPING JOB, BUT...

THANK YOU, DAD.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

OH. UH, HOLD THAT? SURE.

HELLO.

HEY, MARK.

HOLD ON TO THIS.

FINALLY.

IN EXACTLY AN HOUR. YOU WERE RIGHT.

Le Ann: HELLO!

HI. WE'RE IN HERE.

OH, SORRY.

I HAD AN IRATE CUSTOMER AT THE DEALERSHIP.

HI. HELLO, LE ANN.

OKAY. LET'S LIGHT THE CANDLES. VERY GOOD.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY.

SO, WHERE'S THE BOY? WHAT'S HIS NAME? MARK?

MOM SAID FAMILY ONLY.

OOH. THAT'S RIGHT.

HEY. WHY'D YOU MAKE ME COME HOME WITH ELIZABETH

IF YOU WERE GONNA BE SO LATE?

I HAD TO LISTEN TO HER GO ON AND ON ABOUT MARK.

AND VICKY'S BEEN WAITING.

SHH. IT'S ELIZABETH'S DAY.

ISN'T EVERY DAY ELIZABETH'S DAY?

ALL RIGHT. I THINK WE'RE READY TO SING.

MARK. NO. REALLY?

NO. HONEY, I SAID AFTER THE PARTY, ELIZABETH. REALLY? NO. COME ON.

I THOUGHT WE'D BE DONE BY NOW.

SORRY. MY FAULT FOR BEING LATE.

Mark: HEY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. THANK YOU.

Marie: HELLO, MARK.

THIS IS HIM. HEY.

MARK STENWYCK, THIS IS MY AUNT LE ANN.

UH, IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

OH. MANNERS. IMPRESSIVE.

IF YOU LIKE THAT SORT OF STUFF.

WE ARE GONNA GO SEE A MOVIE.

ARE YOU KI-- WHAT ABOUT THE CAKE? Walt: NO.

WE DIDN'T SING, AND YOU'VE GOT ALL YOUR PRESENTS.

UH, I'LL HAVE HER BACK 00.

8:30. IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT.

YOU KNOW THE RULES, MARK.

OKAY. YOU GOT IT.

HEY, CAN YOU GUYS DROP ME OFF AT HOME?

MY FRIEND'S WAITING FOR ME.

KELLI. I HAVE A "HAMLET" QUIZ THIS WEEK. I NEED TO STUDY.

WELL, I WON'T BE THERE FOR A WHILE.

I HAVE SOMETHING FOR --

...FOR MARIE, I WAS ABOUT TO SAY --

THE WOMAN WHO DID ALL THE WORK ON ELIZABETH'S BIRTHDAY.

SHALL WE?

ABSOLUTELY.

OKAY. COME ON.

WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN?

HONEY, WOULD YOU GET SOME GLASSES? GLASSES.

OKAY. AND JUST TELL ME ALL YOUR TROUBLES,

AND I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO DO

TO MAKE EVERYTHING RIGHT.

HEY! I'M KIDDING.

NO, YOU'RE NOT. YEAH, I WAS.

REALLY? OKAY, SO MAKE A WISH, THEN.

AND, UH, LET'S BLOW OUT THE CANDLES.

YOU KNOW AUSTIN AND CODY, RIGHT?

FROM ENGLISH.

WE ALL NEEDED HELP STUDYING.

YEAH.

NO MORE SWEET 16 FOR LIZZY.

ALTHOUGH, IN KELLI'S CASE, IT'S MORE LIKE "SURLY 16."

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT KARMA.

I WASN'T THAT BAD.

OH, YEAH. YOU WANT TO CALL MOM AND SEE WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY?

DON'T DO IT.

COME ON. KELLI AND I USED TO BE SO CLOSE.

YOU KNOW HOW CLOSE. SHE WAS LIKE YOUR LITTLE SHADOW.

YEAH. WELL, NOW SHE'S GONE THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.

IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING I SAY IS WRONG.

WHAT? YOU THINK THAT'S A COP-OUT?

NO. I JUST THINK KELLI'S A GOOD KID.

AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU GIVING UP ON HER.

I'M NOT GIVING UP ON HER.

I JUST WISH SHE WAS A LITTLE BIT MORE LIKE HER COUSIN.

ELIZABETH IS PREDICTABLE.

KELLI -- I'M GONNA BE GRAY WAY BEFORE YOU.

"TO BE, OR NOT TO BE, THAT IS THE QUESTION."

THE MOST BORING QUESTION.

I'M SO DEAD ON THIS QUIZ.

AUSTIN, DUDE...

YOU COMING OR NOT?

I'M NOT.

BUT, UH, YOU GUYS GO.

BYE.

BYE, KELLI. THANKS FOR THE...

YOU KNOW, MISS DUNLEY...

I HADN'T NOTICED

THAT WITHOUT YOUR GLASSES, YOU LOOK...

VERY LOVELY.

I DON'T WEAR GLASSES.

I TOLD YOU I HADN'T NOTICED.

IS THAT THE BEST LINE YOU GOT?

RIGHT.

I FORGOT YOU'RE SOME KIND OF POET.

HOW ABOUT...

"I'VE BEEN WANTING TO KISS YOU FOR A VERY...

VERY LONG TIME"?

Elizabeth: SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF CHRISTOPHER?

Mark: WELL, THAT SOUNDS VERY RESPECTABLE.

AND D'ARTAGNAN? I LIKE D'ARTAGNAN, TOO.

OKAY, LET'S SETTLE. WE'RE GONNA NAME OUR TWO DOGS

CHRISTOPHER AND D'ARTAGNAN.

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE SUCH A GOOD DOGGY DADDY.

I JUST WANT TO KISS YOU.

ALL I WANT IS TO BE WITH YOU.

I'M READY TO DO IT.

THIS WEEKEND.

I WANT YOU TO BE SURE.

I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE GONNA BE MY FIRST.

I WANT TO BE YOUR ONLY...

EVER.

KELLI, TURN DOWN THE STEREO!

WHOA. OKAY.

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOU?

SOMEONE ASKED YOU TO CUT SCHOOL, YOU GO.

"YOU WANT TO HAVE ORAL SEX WITH ME?" "SURE."

IT'S MY LIFE.

IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND?

NO, IT'S JUST A GUY FROM ENGLISH CLASS.

THEN WHY?

BECAUSE I WANTED TO.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOU.

WHAT DO I DO? SHOULD I GROUND YOU?

SHOULD I TAKE YOU TO A CLINIC? WHAT?

HOW ABOUT YOU STOP MAKING IT SUCH A BIG DEAL?

IT'S NOT LIKE I HAD SEX WITH HIM!

OH, YOU DON'T THINK THAT'S A BIG DEAL

TO DO THAT AT YOUR AGE? IT'S A BIG DEAL!

IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS BUT MINE!

I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

I CAN GET US THE ROOM TOMORROW NIGHT.

I'M GOING TO AMY'S TOMORROW NIGHT.

IT'S OUR SCARY-MOVIE NIGHT.

YOU MADE PLANS FOR FRIDAY NIGHT WITHOUT EVEN TALKING TO ME?

I-I'VE BEEN IGNORING MY FRIENDS FOR LIKE A MONTH.

I -- SO HAVE I.