Single Parents

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Shuttin' down your ex‐husband's wedding!

Now let's dish.

Okay, so, Will and I drive up to the drive‐through,

and who's there?

My ex. Graham's dad.

And how'd that deadbeat look?

- Disgusting... ly hot! - Ohh!

- "Charlie's Angels"! - Yeah.

Okay, and then Derek gave me his e‐mail address

on one of his old CDs.

What?! Angie, are you gonna use it?

Wait. Are we headed towards a "Thelma & Louise" situation?

- No! I'm not gonna e‐mail that dummy. - Okay.

- Look it! -

- Aaahhh! - Aaahhh!

Okay, good, because you know how crazy he makes you.

One mention of something that happened nine years ago,

and you are in Obsessed Town.

Not anymore, okay?

Turns out all I had to do was have one last look at his face.

- Mad closure. - Good.

Can't wait to see what I blame my problems on now.

- Probably your mom. - Yeah.

- Prom. -

- Take me to prom. - Mm!

- - Hey.

Alright, well, you successfully rode out

your ex‐husband's wedding,

so what do you say we leave?

Okay, come on, Douglas. Let's take a picture.

Eh...

O‐Okay, but I refuse to do a fun one.

Hold up! Are we doing a group photo?

Miggy! Miggy!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ooh, ooh, ooh!

- Dibs on the fake saxophone! - Ooh.

Wait. You know what I just realized?

Sophie and Graham are at Space Camp,

Rory's going with Ron and Sharon on their honeymoon...

not a great sign...

and the twins are with their kinda hot grandma.

Are we looking at a kid‐free summer?

- Totally unprecedented. - Oh, my God.

This'll have little effect on my day‐to‐day.

Guys? Really? I mean, Jack's not even 2.

I'll have him the entire time.

A kid‐free summer!

- Dirty little secret? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Shhh. -

Okay, so, let's get some parties on the books, alright?

We can take turns hosting. That way, we can see each other.

Oh, I'll be seeing you.

Ohh. Okay.

Alright, guys, summer starts now!

Whoo!

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Oh! Hey.

Person who didn't think that I could pull off a party.

- - Well, check it. Here.

We have saltines, a nice spread of breakfast cereal,

and some snacks that I've been collecting

from Southwest flights.

Nailed it.

Where's your, uh,

work boss/life girlfriend, Tracy Freeze?

Well, we've been hanging out quite a bit,

but we're keeping things pretty casual right now.

And that is the perfect attitude for the summer of freedom.

- Summer! - Summer!

Whoo!

This is the exact reason why we made

Angie and Will's List of Summer Fun!

Mm. Yes, yes, yes. Yes.

- Shall we review? - We shall.

I'm excited about the wine tasting. Ooh!

I'm very excited for that pinball bar

where everybody's gonna be 23 and, therefore, terrifying.

And I can finally visit the dog shelter

without having to worry about Sophie's crippling bulldog allergy.

- Yeah, what a drag. - Yeah.

Ooh! And the crown jewel...

that Bavarian sausage house

where you get free sausage for your birthday!

I don't know how I feel about lying.

My birthday's not until October.

Come on. You know the saying...

it's not summer unless you're lying to some Germans.

Hey, Angie.

Ah! Gus.

My friend and my exterminator.

And you come bearing gifts.

- He was raised right. -

They're deviled eggs.

Some of them aren't good.

- Oh, my... - Good God.

Daaaamn!

I'm getting second‐degree burns

- from all that fire! -

If that's the bad degree.

Oh! Have you two gone on a date yet?

No, Miggy.

I thought he was gonna ask me sooner, but I don't know.

I think he's just taking his time.

He's taking his time?

The Poppy I know doesn't wait for anybody.

That's why you're always leaving me at the mall.

- Mm. - Mm‐hmm.

Jack! What'd I tell you about the Sharpies?

The wall, man, not the mouth.

I'll get him.

Oh, man, this party is the pits.

No spread, no bartender, no live piano.

Dude, what's the deal?

Why haven't you asked out Poppy yet?

Well, if you must know, I'm gonna ask her tonight.

I just had to, you know, secure all the details.

You see, women are fearful creatures...

you know, skittish, like cats,

and if you put them in an unpredictable environment,

well, they panic.

That's why they want the man to make all the decisions.

They also hate the car.

Yeah, I get that. But see, Poppy's a modern woman.

She's not your usual type.

You're gonna need some new moves.

Eh. All women are the same.

O‐O‐Okay. Here she comes.

Watch and learn.

- Okay, tagging you back in. - Yeah.

He somehow took his diaper off

yet is still wearing his shorts.

Uh, Ms. Banks, I would like to inform you

of your plans next Wednesday.

Hey, do you want to go on a date?

W‐Well, I...

Calendars...

appointments...

O‐Okay, are you short‐circuiting or what's... going... on?

Oh. Is it because a woman's asking you out?

No!

I‐lt's new.

But, uh, y‐yes.

Yes. It would be my pleasure.

Good. Great.

Um, I'll pick you up Tuesday.

I know this great vegan joint.

Just kidding. We'll get steak.

- Guess what. - What?

That wine bar is having a tasting tonight.

We could go straight from here.

Love it. Let's do it!

Okay!

Everyone out!

I'm doing something else now.

I mean it.

- What? - Oh, really?

This is it.

Yeah, sorry, I sort of meant, like, after the party,

but this is cool, too.

- - Uh, is that a CD shard in your pocket?

You know, just can't stop thinking about e‐mailing Derek,

you know, just to yell at him one last time,

just hit him with the old "Yo, D‐bag,

do you have any idea how..."

Mm.

Something is...

happening... inside me.

- Feelings? - Oh, yes.

Feelings.

I just got to... shove those back down.

Okay.

That was close.

- Um... - All better now.

No! Angie, you got to let that bad stuff out.

It's like my Nana always says...

if you don't let the steam out of the kettle, it gets too loud.

Well, your Nana was stupid!

- Sorry. - It's okay.

I'm not e‐mailing Derek. End of story.

Alright.

But if I were,

you know it would be the e‐mail of the century.

It would be eight years of rage.

I would find a way to use the word "butthole"

as a noun and a verb.

You're kind of obsessing about this,

and I think you need to write this e‐mail.

Like, now.

Yes. Yeah.

You know what?

I can't let this hang over

Angie and Will's List of Summer Fun.

I'm gonna go destroy Derek.

Oh, what about the wine tasting?

How about I head over there now, get us a table,

strike up some heat with the server?

- Meet you there. - Yeah.

- Summer! - Summer! Summer