Her Infidelity

MWAH!

WOW!

BETH!

OKAY, STOP PLAYING AROUND.

BETH?

WAKE UP!

BETH! STOP PLAYING.

DON'T TRADE ANY SNACKS TODAY.

MAYBE MY CHEESE STICK FOR JAMIE'S YOGURT?

OKAY, BUT JUST NOT YOUR SANDWICH.

OH!

I AM SO SORRY. I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE.

THAT'S OKAY.

MORNING, MR. KENDALL.

HEY, BUDDY.

MR. KENDALL? YOU'RE MR. KENDALL?

YEAH.

I-- I EXPECTED SOMEBODY DIFFERENT.

WELL, I'M SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU,

BUT YES, I AM HIM.

GRAYSON KENDALL.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

OKAY, HONEY. YOU GO ON. I'LL SEE YOU AFTER SCHOOL.

BYE, MOM. I LOVE YOU.

LOVE YOU TOO. MWAH!

SEE YOU IN THE CLASSROOM, MR. KENDALL.

SOUNDS GOOD, BUDDY.

YOU KNOW, ASH IS REALLY EXCITED

TO HAVE YOU AS HIS NEW TEACHER.

HE TALKS A LOT ABOUT YOU AT HOME.

BYE.

OH, MRS. HELMS?

YOU'RE HEAD OF THE P.T.A., CORRECT?

-YES. -WELL, I'VE JUST VOLUNTEERED--

...TO BE YOUR NEW TEACHER ADVISOR.

REALLY?

MRS. JENKINS THOUGHT

IT'D BE A GREAT WAY FOR ME TO GET TO KNOW ALL THE PARENTS.

SHE SUGGESTED I CONTACT YOU ABOUT YOUR UPCOMING MEETING.

OH, YEAH, WE HAVE ONE TOMORROW AFTERNOON.

GREAT. I'LL SEE YOU THEN... MRS. HELMS.

OH, YOU CAN CALL ME LILY.

LILY?

LIKE THE FLOWER.

YOU KNOW, I SHOULD GET GOING.

IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU, MR. KENDALL.

GRAYSON.

RIGHT. MR. GRAYSON. HAVE A NICE DAY.

: MAN, I'D HATE TO BE YOU.

: WELL, ALLERGIES ARE A VERY SERIOUS THING.

I'VE NOW IMPLEMENTED A STRICT -"NO PEANUT/NO SOY/ -NO GLUTEN"

POLICY IN OUR HOUSE.

THAT WAY, BRITTANY IS COVERED.

SORRY ABOUT THAT. I JUST HAD TO CALL WORK

AND LET THEM KNOW I GOT A NEW LISTING.

SO WHERE ARE WE AT? WHAT'D I MISS?

AH, YOU DIDN'T MISS ANYTHING. I PROMISE. GO TO WORK.

AND MISS THE GOSSIP?

NO WAY. THIS SINGLE MOM NEEDS AS MUCH EXCITEMENT

AS SHE CAN GET, OKAY?

SPEAKING OF WHICH, DID YOU HEAR

WHO THE NEW P.T.A. TEACHER ADVISOR IS?

I DID!

COULDN'T YOU JUST RIP

THAT PREPPY LITTLE SWEATER-VEST RIGHT OFF OF HIM?

SETTLE DOWN, SINGLE MOM, HE'S TOO YOUNG FOR YOU.

BUT FOR ME? NOT SO MUCH.

I HATE TO BE THE BEARER OF BAD NEWS,

BUT HE'S LIKELY LOOKING FOR A WIFE--

-...TO SETTLE DOWN WITH, NOT A-- -NOT A WHAT?

USED-GOODS SINGLE MOM?

THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY.

RIGHT.

MOMS WITH LOOSE CHILD-BEARING VAJAYJAYS

AND MILK-PROVIDING BOOBS?

WHAT YOUNG MAN WOULDN'T WANT THAT, HUH?

HE'S COMING TOMORROW.

OOH! I'LL BRING MY GLASSES, GET A BETTER LOOK.

IN YOUR DREAMS, MAYBE.

: PETER?

PETER?

"HEY, LILY. HOW ARE YOU?"

"I'M GREAT, THANKS."

THANKS FOR ASKING.

WHY ARE YOU DRESSED?

WORK.

WORK? YOU JUST GOT HOME FROM WORK.

DON'T START, LILY.

DON'T BE LIKE THAT.

LOOK, I TOLD YOU,

IT'S GONNA LONG HOURS AND LOTS OF TRAVEL,

JUST UNTIL THIS DEAL GETS DONE.

ASH! COME SAY HELLO AND GOODBYE TO YOUR FATHER.

HE'S, UH, LEAVING, FOR WORK.

- -ASH!

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, DAD. I DIDN'T MEAN TO!

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?

YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL AROUND MY COMPUTER!

ASH HASN'T SEEN YOU IN TWO FULL DAYS,

AND THE FIRST THING YOU DO IS SNAP AT HIM?

I HAVE IMPORTANT STUFF IN THERE!

YOU HAVE IMPORTANT STUFF IN THIS HOUSE!

SPECIFICALLY, A 7-YEAR-OLD BOY WHO NEEDS HIS FATHER!

-THAT'S NOT FAIR. -

OH, IT'S "NOT FAIR."

WHO'S THAT?

IT'S JANE.

OH, JANE. JANE THE ASSISTANT, RIGHT?

YEAH, I ASKED HER TO PICK ME UP.

OH, OF COURSE YOU DID. WHY?

SHE'S COMING WITH US.

00 MEETING IN DETROIT.

LOOK, I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW.

I'M SORRY.

ONCE THE WEBSITE'S UP,

WE'LL BE ABLE TO REACH THE PARENTS A LOT EASIER,

AND I'LL ALSO KEEP THE P.T.A. FILE UPDATED

ON ALL MEETING NOTES.

THAT SHOULD HELP WITH THE ORGANIZATION OF A BAKE SALE.

WELL, I JUST HAVE TO SAY YOU PUT MRS. WILLIAMS TO SHAME.

THE MOST SHE CONTRIBUTED WAS STORIES

OF PEOPLE PASSING GAS IN THE TEACHERS' BREAK ROOM.

WELL, I'LL DO MY BEST.

UH, AND THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME USE YOUR COMPUTER, LILY.

SO, TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF.

YOU'RE, UH, NOT WEARING A RING,

SO YOU'RE CLEARLY NOT MARRIED?

UH...

N-NO.

OH... THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. THAT MEANS "ETERNITY," RIGHT?

YEAH, IT DOES.

FAMILY HEIRLOOM?

YEAH.

KIND OF.

YOU KNOW, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

SO HOW DO YOU LIKE IT HERE?

HAS ANYONE SHOWN YOU AROUND?

WELL, I HAVEN'T REALLY HAD MUCH TIME TO DO ANY SOCIALIZING.

ELLIE HERE IS ACTUALLY A VERY SUCCESSFUL REALTOR.

SHE'S OUT AND ABOUT ALL THE TIME,

SO, IF YOU NEED A GREAT GUIDE,

SHE'S MORE THAN WILLING TO SHOW YOU AROUND.

00 P.M.

THANKS, UH,

BUT I'M ACTUALLY JUST FOCUSING ON MY WORK RIGHT NOW.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, I HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE CLASSROOM

TO GRADE SOME PAPERS.

UH, THANK YOU FOR THE MEETING, IT WAS GREAT.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION

TOWARDS OUR PARENT-TEACHER ORGANIZATION,

AND ON BEHALF OF OLIVE BRANCH ELEMENTARY P.T.A.,

MAY THIS BE YOUR OFFICIAL WELCOME.

NOW I'LL GO OVER THE SITE WITH YOU ON SUNDAY,

BUT I'M HOPING THAT

ALL OF OUR CHILDREN'S ALLERGIES WILL BE UPDATED.

WELL, GOODBYE, MR. KENDALL.

THANK YOU.

SMART AND HANDSOME. WHAT A CATCH.

JUST LISTEN TO US.

WE'RE ALL TRYING TO BE MILFs.

NOT TRYING. WE ARE MILFs.

AND THIS SINGLE MOTHER

CAN DEFINITELY GET MR. KENDALL, THANK YOU.

WELL, DON'T BE UPSET

IF HE ACCIDENTALLY CALLS YOU "MOM."

THERE IT IS. P.T.A. AGENDA.

"GRAYSON D. KENDALL."

"D" STANDS FOR "DELICIOUS," I ASSUME.

LOOK AT THAT. HE ALREADY LISTED YOU

AS THE P.T.A. CHAIRPERSON.

OH, AND HE JUST POSTED

THAT HE NEEDS ALL OF THE NUTRITION FACTS

TO PUT UP ON THE SITE.

THAT'S OUR "IN."

-OUR "IN"? I-- -YEAH.

MOM, WHEN IS DAD GONNA BE HOME?

HE SAID HE WOULD TAKE ME TO THE AQUARIUM TODAY.

TONIGHT, HONEY. ELLIE AND I'LL BE DONE SOON,

AND THEN WE'LL GO.

JUST GO UPSTAIRS AND PACK YOUR BAG,

AND DON'T FORGET YOUR SUN HAT.

YES!

ALRIGHT, SO HERE'S THE PLAN.

YOU'RE GONNA TELL HIM THAT I ORGANIZE

THE NUTRITION FACTS

AND SUGGEST THAT HE AND I HAVE A MEETING.

ALONE... AT NIGHT.

IF YOU GET MY DRIFT.

YEAH, LOOK, I DON'T KNOW. I--

- -WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

IT'S THE AMBER ALERT.