Bob's Burgers

Ah, hmm, looks like Jimmy Pesto's big Super Bowl weekend

is starting early.

No, no, no. Higher.

Every year it starts earlier and earlier.

Like ant season under Gene's bed.

I'm having my own Super Bowl blowout this year.

I'm holding all of my BMs until halftime,

when I will make a Super Bowel!

Gene, you can't hold your poops in, all right?

You got to set 'em free where they can go down the sewer

and they find their families and they're happy!

I'm their family! I raised them!

Hey, you know what? We should do our own Super Bowl promotion.

You know, for people who want the option

to have good food.

Great idea, Dad. We can have people over

and order a bunch of Thai. What? No, Tina.

I'm talking about our food.

Oh, right. That'll work, too.

Hmm?

What's that jerk up to?

Ugh. What do you want, Jimmy?

Hey, saw your little sign. What are you gonna do,

listen to the game on the radio and then go out

and tell everybody what happened? Come on.

What are you talking about? You don't have a TV!

Yeah, we do. It's right there. Right there.

Where? I don't s... Uh, where? Oh, yeah!

Little fella.

Yeah! And it has good horizontal hold!

Sheesh! How old is that thing?

The players are all gonna have English accents.

Ah! 'Cause England's old.

Don't hold my hand.

Get out of here, Jimmy. Yeah.

It's no wonder every year my place

is packed for the game, while you serve two customers.

He's talking about us. Look alive, Mort!

Oh, yeah? Well-well, we have

our own Super Bowl idea, Jimmy. Yeah!

Is it my Super Bowel?

Bigger. Impossible!

Our idea's gonna get us more business

on Sunday than you.

Yeah, that's right, yeah.

You go, Dad. Our place will be packed,

and yours will be empty. Ha!

Like Trev's soul.

Heh. Whoa.

I'm sorry.

That's cute that you think that, Bob.

Almost as cute as your little cooking booties.

They happen to be clogs, Jimmy.

Yeah? Well, go back to Holland, you windmill!

He's not a windmill. You'll see, Jimmy.

My idea's gonna destroy you.

Monday morning, you're gonna be like, "What the hell happened?"

and I'm gonna be like, "Bob's idea happened!"

So, what do you got, Bob? I got nothing.

Aw, nuts. No, Dad,

we've got nothing. Thanks, Tina.

Here's something. It's a grocery list.

Hurry back, and I'll make zucchini and wienie paninis.

You'll love 'em. Yay.

Yay.

What am I gonna do

to bring in more business?

Can't let Pesto win. Again.

I have an idea.

What is it, zucchini?

You could kill Jimmy Pesto.

Yeah, I could kill him.

Yeah, kill him today...

with me.

Shove me down his throat.

That's a great idea.

No one... It's a perfect murder.

Watch out for that truck!

Or...

Or what?

: Nothing. Forget it. Just go back in the bag.

A 15-second local Super Bowl commercial

is only $3,000.

We can afford it, barely.

I don't know, Bob.

We'd have to empty almost all our savings.

What if it doesn't work? It will work.

When everyone in the bi-county area sees our commercial,

they'll come to our restaurant.

I didn't know our county was bi. Good for us.

I'm telling you, Lin, we'll make that money back and then some.

This is just about you wanting to one-up Jimmy Pesto.

No, Lin. The fact that our commercial

will play on all of Jimmy Pesto's stupid 18 televisions

during the game has nothing to do with it!

Th-This is about growing our family business.

We'll get so big, we'll run Mort off his land

and take his goats!

We'll get so rich, we'll never be happy again!

$3,000 is a lot of money, Bobby.

But a Super Bowl commercial is a game-changer, Lin,

and it'll be fun.

No. We'll put the whole family in it.

No, I don't think... You could sing a song.

The Belchers are making a commercial!

Finally, people have a reason to watch the Super Bowl!

This is an impressive savings account here.

And then here's yours.

See the difference? Yes.

Good planning; Careful saving.

No apparent plan; Small, random deposits.

Yes, I-I, uh, I get it.

Something. Nothing.

Okay, you've made your point.

Good. I mean, I shouldn't even be

showing you this other account, but I couldn't think

of another way to try to help you.

Well, actually, it's kind of hurtful.

Aw. Yes, I'm basically emptying our account,

but it's worth it to have

a commercial during the Super Bowl.

I mean, I'll be back in here

in no time depositing twice as much.

Oh, that'll be fun. I'll have our vault enlarged.

Okay, uh, financing is in place.

Now we just need a $3,000 idea for the family commercial.

So, uh, let's do it.

What do we got? Bobby, I know

a guy who used to be in the NFL; I bet you could get him.

Really? That could be great.

I don't know. Celebrity endorsement?

Sounds a little hoity-toity.

Yeah, that might be a little slick for us.

It's something Pesto would do.

We'll keep it simple...

just the food and the family.

How about a slogan? Uh, "Where's the burger?

Between Bob's buns."

Hmm. Uh, well, not that.

How about this?

"Bob's Burgers, like a beef in the night."

Mm, no. Huh.

You can be the Joint Beefs of Staff.

I don't think so.

Um, how about, uh, "I beef, you beef,

we'll all beef, uh, at Bob's Burgers."

Not great, Teddy.

Something like that. Oh, oh!

"Come meet our family and let us meat you."

Get it? Meat? Ha!

Hey, Louise, that's pretty good.

I'm the smart one!

That's good? Yeah, that could work.

Lin, you could sing that.

Well, yeah, I... Yeah, yeah.

Yes, now I hear it.

Gene! Give me something bouncy.

Ma, go!

Uh, two, three!

That's great!

Ha-ha-ha!

I mean, not that exactly,

but something like that.

I mean, we'll work on it.

It just flew out of me.

I don't... It just came out.

Wow, I love that. Yeah, then we

just add some dialogue and show the burgers.

This is gonna work.

Not to be a Missy Pissy, but how

are we going to make the commercial in just four days?

Well, there is one guy we could call.

I love it!

That'll be $1,500.

Worth it!

This is Randy.

I still can't believe you want

to work with Randy. How many times

are you gonna let him hurt you?

We don't know anyone else

who can do this stuff, and he's cheap.

I wrote it; I should be the one directing it,

not some idiot.

Louise. All the best movies

were written and directed by one girl.

The man did glue a wig on a cow.

And that worked out. All right,

here he is; Get it out now.

Randy's a pain in the butt. He has bad breath.

He pees sitting down, facing the toilet!

He smells like a hamster cage! He's average height.

Tina, that's not really an insult.

Okay, here he is.

Hey, buddy. Hello, Belchers.

You're stupid. What?

Nothing. Hey, uh,

what did you think about the script?

What did I think about the script?

Oh, quick question: Did a kid write it?

Actually, yes. This kid. Me.