The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants

This is George and Harold.

George is on the left with the tie and the flattop.

Harold's on the right with the T-shirt and bad haircut.

Remember that now.

Also, they like to think outside the box.

-Know what'd be awesome? -A gorilla lawyer?

Last week on...

Yes, but I was thinking more like Captain Underpants action figures.

That would be awesome, but how are we gonna make toys?

Yeah, that's a problem.

Do you feel something?

They must have just seen the lunch menu.

Bo Hweemuth is on a rampage!

Run! Hide! Scream!

Do all three! Bo Hweemuth!

Ah! He's a monster!

We're all gonna die!

And that's the good news.

Bo Hweemuth!

- We're cool! - Me too!

Blah, blah, blah, blah!

Tra-la-la!

Bo is a student at Jerome Horwitz Elementary

about whom little was known.

He spent most of his school days alone in the old, abandoned ceramics studio.

Well done, Sneedly.

Those kids ran like guppies from a hungry shark.

My pleasure, sir.

Happy to terrify those peons.

That's why I built the Faker Quaker 2000.

Right.

Scared children are good children.

Fear is our friend, and fright makes right!

-I mean, that is just-- -So wrong.

-Can't even. -Yeah.

And nothing scares them more than Bo Hweemuth,

so keep it up!

And you've written a recommendation for me

to Eliteanati Academy...

-...correct? -Ha. Of course.

Almost done.

I'd never lie to a child.

By the way, those glasses make you look tall.

Lie! Lie!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Six.

Seven! Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep going!

I just need to... yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah, seeing stars.

Kids are afraid of Bo Hweemuth 'cause of all the scary rumors,

so if we twist those rumors around...

Make him more fun and silly and put him in a comic book...

People won't be afraid anymore.

The kids had enough rumors for a horror franchise.

You know what I heard?

When Bo Hweemuth was a baby,

he was found in the woods by bigfoots.

The bigfoots tried to raise him,

but Bo ate so much, the bigfoots ran out of food,

so Bo swallowed all the bigfoots, and they live in his belly,

except for one that got away.

Now the art room is his lair,

and if you enter, you'll never leave.

I heard something different.

Eons ago, our second moon split asunder,

unleashing Bo Hweemuth upon the cosmos.

He rode a chariot of rainbow fire

drawn by a golden griffin to Earth,

and he uses lightning to gather the souls of children,

the precious fuel for his cursed immortality.

Whoa, so scary.

And so cool! But scary first.

I heard he has laser teeth, but only monsters have those,

and yeah, monsters don't exist,

except for all we've had here at the school.

Oh, and chupacabra.

I saw chupacabra in Mazatlán when I was on vacation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hairy, vicious, big fangs,

and he was surfing!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I barely escaped alive,

and he's still out there,

hunting me.

What?

...by George and Harold.

So, once, there was this giant kid named Bo Hweemuth.

He was so huge, he wore size 47 shoes and was like,

"I have clown feet. I should be a clown."

So Bo bought clown stuff and tried to go to clown school,

but he couldn't read maps and ended up at NASA instead.

And his big shoe got caught on a rocket that was lifting off,

and Bo was all, "I guess I'm going to space!"

Luckily, Bo landed on the moon,

and the bigfoots who live there were like, "Are you a bigfoot?" 'cause big feet,

and Bo was all, "No, I want to be a clown,"

but when Bo juggled, his bowling pins floated away

'cause, like, zero G and things fly away.

Then Bo got hungry, and the moon's made of cheese,

so Bo started eating it all,

and the bigfoots were like, "You got to go, bro,"

and the bigfoots threw Bo

and his unicycle and his horns and his rubber nose back to Earth.

But Bo was still hungry, so he went to school and was all,

"More cheese for meez!" and ate all the school's cheese,

but the cheese was really clay,

'cause the school was saving money and clay's cheap,

and Bo ate so much, he turned into Claylossus,

a giant clay monster with big feet, size 47.

But Claylossus still had clown dreams

and chased the kids with a bucket of confetti,

and the kids were all like, "Help! We hate regular clowns,

and a clay monster clown is even worse!"

So Captain Underpants flew in and was like,

"This clown's making frowns, so this clown's going down!"

That made Claylossus frown,

and he chased Captain Underpants to one of those make-your-own-pizza places

where the ovens are really hot because people won't wait for pizzas anymore.

Claylossus dove to catch Captain Underpants,

but he missed and fell on the pizza oven

and was all, "Ouch, I'm getting melted by pizza heat,"

and Claylossus melted into a road.

So Captain Underpants and the kids had a parade on him to celebrate,

with giant balloons and marching bands and break-dancers and steamrollers

and tanks and elephants and, of course, clowns.

So many clowns!

They all stomped on Claylossus' face,

and the elephants pooped on him a lot,

so Claylossus gave up his clown dreams--

and dairy. Okay, the end.

Yep, no one's gonna be afraid of Bo Hweemuth after this.

- Maybe. - Oh, please.

You poor fools. Claylossus?

Bo read your vile comic book,

and he's not happy!

Bo Hweemuth!

It was dreadful knowing you!

You're as smart as you are tall.

He's lying! Don't believe him!

Wait, why are we running?

For our lives!

Because Melvin said so?

We can't trust Melvin.

We don't even know Bo. We've never even talked to him.

So maybe we should talk to him. I mean, what's the worst that can happen?

That's a long list.

It's a pretty long list. I bet I know where we can find him.

This was a mistake.

He's gonna pound us worse than that clay.

That's on the list.

You...

did this?

Uh-oh, we're about to start a...

Chase montage!

Come on. We better keep moving.

George? Buddy? George?

Easy, man. I'm right here.

-Come on, we got to keep moving. -Aah!

I wonder why he didn't kick in this stall.

- Maybe he had to go to the bathroom. - We're in the bathroom.

Oh, yeah.

I think we lost him.

See? Nothing to worry about.

Huh?

Hey, George, look!

"Don't think. Just obey."

"Do butts think?"

I was lying. Worry your butt off.

Oh, I've got something for you.

Does it hurt?

Is it one of those spiky ball weapons that I don't know what it's called?

- A mace. - No.

It's this.

Whoa.

That's a real Captain Underpants action figure!

I'm a huge fan!

I love your comics so much, I made this!

That's awesome!

Thanks. I make a lot of things.

Want to see?

These are some of my sculptures.

- Whoa, it's all of our villains. - And us!

- Our toys should totally look like this. - Exactly like this.

Instead of a twisted monster,

Bo was a gifted sculptor.

In fact, he was full of surprises.

I play banjo, too.

I play banjo.

No bigfoots, no moon.

Everything we know about you is wrong!

Up is down. Day is night.

Potato is "potahto."

Next, you're gonna say you don't like cheese.

I play banjo.

Whoa! What?

Yee-haw!

We got to tell everybody about you.

The other kids don't like me.

-And they won't like you. -They'll love you!

Though it took convincing, the other kids quickly warmed up to Bo.

So your venom won't melt my skull?