Carol's Second Act

Patient is a 65-year-old male,

admitted with lymphedema and hidradenitis suppurativa.

Patient is also...

This food is crap.

... combative.

Dr. Kenney and Dr. Gilani, the pleasure will be yours.

Hello, Mr. Tuverson.

I'm Dr. Kenney, this is Dr. Gilani.

Have they stopped letting men be doctors now?

Mr. Tuverson, hidradenitis suppurativa refers

to this cluster of boils in your groin area.

Now, your lymphedema

is what's creating the swelling in your leg.

I don't like your voice.

Oh, gosh.

Well, I guess we'll just have to get your ears checked, too.

As I was saying...

Your tone is a little naggy.

Does your husband tell you that?

- I-I'm divorced. - That's a shocker.

Okay, I'm sorry, but have you heard your own voice?

Because you're no Josh Groban.

As a matter of fact, you're a real piece of...

Dr. Kenney, let's take this outside, shall we?

Mr. Tuverson, you can page

the nurses' station if you need anything.

I have news for all of you.

Mr. Tuverson will not be the last difficult patient

you encounter in your careers.

He won't even be the most difficult.

Just last week, I had a patient ask me

if I was here as part of a "reparations" program.

What did you do?

I saved her life.

As doctors, you'll meet patients

who are rude, offensive and mean.

Your job isn't to judge them, it's to treat them.

- Understood? - (OTHERS MURMUR ASSENT)

Good. Moving on.

Dr. Kutcher and Dr. Sommers,

you'll take the patient in Room 410.

Got it. I'll take the lead on this one, newbie.

We've been here the same amount of time.

You two will also be covering the slip-and-fall

admitted this morning. Remember,

it is essential that we present a calm, professional face

- to our patients at all times. - Understood.

Patient's name is...

- Phyllis! (LAUGHING) - Carol!

- Oh, my gosh, Carol. - I've missed you so much.

- Mwah, mwah. - Oh, my gosh.

To be fair, for Carol, that is calm.

Oh, Carol.

- You look wonderful. - Never better.

- I cannot believe you are here. - How are you?

- You're so professional. - Well...

My God, there's two of them.

Good luck, Dr. Gilani.

Ooh! Where are my manners?

Dr. Gilani, this is Phyllis.

Oh, we're old friends.

- Yeah, I got that. - Phyllis and I

were science teachers together.

Do you know, we actually started on the same day.

I did not!

It's true, we did.

I was so nervous.

- And then I saw this petite brunette... - That's right.

- ... walking through the cafeteria, - Mm-hmm.

and I thought she was a student skipping out,

- but she wasn't. - (LAUGHS)

- It wasn't. It was me. - It was her.

One year, we even rewrote

- the whole science curriculum. - That's right.

No frickin' way. Just the two of you?

Yes.

- Who else was gonna do it, Mr. Damelin? - Oh!

- I mean, can you imagine? - I cannot.

- Oh, it is so good to see you, Dr. Carol. - Mm-hmm.

Oh, it's so impressive.

Oh, it's nothing.

- Do you like my coat? - Yes.

And this badge lets me go

almost anywhere in the hospital.

Speaking of hospitals, should we talk about why you're in one?

Oh, it's silly, really.

I-I fell doing sun salutations in my succulent garden.

- This whole side is just sore. - Oh.

Yeah, the, uh, hip pain you reported

may indicate a small fracture.

We'll send you for an MRI

along with a standard senior blood panel.

Get a load of the doctor lingo!

Yeah. Right?

Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

You look so rested, and happier than I have ever seen you.

- Is it the yoga? - It's retirement.

- Oh. - I also started

- a wine-pairing class, plus... - (GASPS)

I'm taking French lessons three times a week.

- Ooh la la. - (LAUGHS)

Oh, Phyllis and I used to fantasize about going to France.

- Just the two of us. - Yeah, well,

- who else were we gonna go with? Mr. Damelin? - (LAUGHS)

Yeah, if you want someone to ruin it.

- Yes, that's right. That's right. - Yeah.

So, hold on to your beret, Dr. Carol,

because I'm going.

- Seriously, you're doing it? - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

The Louvre? Versailles? A baguette crawl?

Two baguette crawls, and a fromage-a-thon.

Tell me everything.

Okay, Dr. Carol, we need

- to get those tests ordered. - Okay.

- Okay. When you come back, - Yes.

- I'll show you pictures of the hotel I'm staying at. - Okay.

- This quaint little Marriott, - Yeah.

right off La Rue de l'Airport Highway.

The CT was negative.

I'm not sure why his neck pain is so persistent.

I think his new blood pressure meds could be interacting

with his olanzapine, causing spasmodic torticollis.

It sounds like a pasta, but it's actually

a tasty little muscle spasm.

Where'd you learn that, Burning Man?

No, if you do it right,

you don't remember what you learned at Burning Man.

We should try baclofen and an anticholinergic.

All right, gentlemen, what's the differential diagnosis?

- Uh, actually, we... - The patient is suffering

from spasmodic torticollis caused by a drug interaction.

I recommend treatment with oral baclofen and an anticholinergic.

Excellent observation.

Write up the order, Dr.Kutcher.

Very good work.

I know I took credit, but you can't hesitate

when a life is on the line.

He's having a neck spasm.

Doesn't matter. Medicine is a competitive field.

You snooze, you lose.

Okay.

Okay?

I'm gonna grab a snack.

I don't like how that ended.

Phyllis just seemed so relaxed.

Like if you picked her up and listened,

you'd hear the ocean.

Yeah, like a loud, crashing ocean.

Yeah.

She does make retirement look good.

Isn't it crazy you did this instead of that?

No. It wasn't crazy.

I wanted to follow my dreams.

All I know is, as soon as my period goes away, so do I.

Dr. Kenney.

I know that face.

Is it that obvious?

I guess at our age, it's normal to question your life decisions.

Oh, is that what you're doing?

I just thought you'd forgotten where you parked.

Tell me more.

Well, it's just an old colleague showed up

and gave me a vision of the road not taken.

And I got to say, it looked really nice.

Aren't you already taking the road not taken?

Yes. Yes, I am.

And I am pursuing what I love.

It's just, I also love a lot of other things that we never

have time to do on our schedule, like travel.

Oh, there are some very nice conferences in Delaware.

I-I was thinking Europe.

But Delaware is also... a place.

Look, I am sure after I practice medicine for a while,

I'll retire and-and eventually get some traveling in.

Well, statistically speaking, probably not.

Studies have shown that the first year of residency

takes six years off your life.

You're really washing that yogurt cup.

You're mad.

Yeah. I'm furious.

It's 2019 and we still live in a world with single-use plastics.

No.

About before with Dr. Jacobs,

when you nailed the diagnosis, but I took credit for it?

: Oh, that?

No worries, all good.

I see what's going on here.

You're pretending you're not mad, but you're pissed.

You're hatching a little revenge plan right now, aren't you?

No.

Yeah. You are.

All right, Caleb. Two can play at this game.

Oh, Lexie, I have had a day.

My gout patient has uric acid nephropathy,

Mrs. Murray sneezed into my mouth,

and then I dropped my I.D. badge down that little gap

between the elevator and the floor.

I looked so good in that photo.

Well,

forget your troubles 'cause I got you a bagel.