Last Man Standing

- Vanessa. - Yeah?

Why is my '67 Impala out in the driveway?

Oh, I'm sorry, was it not designed to ever be outside?

It's a classic car. It needs to be pampered.

You're lucky I don't park it on your side of the bed.

It's fine, Mike.

Eve and Cammy just wanted to be in the garage.

Well, so did the Impala.

Why did they need in my garage?

They kind of... started a band.

Oh, God, no. No.

No, no, no, no.

No, listen, don't... don't ...don't judge too quickly.

I think that was the perfect speed.

Wait, wait, wait. No, Mike.

Oh, hey, Mr. Baxter!

Oh, this is Nigel. Nigel, say hi to Mr. Baxter.

- What's good, Mr. Baxter? - Not this.

Dad, don't freak out. This isn't a big deal.

Well, that's true. It's a huge deal!

We are awesome!

And, uh, guess what our band's called.

No.

The Cammy Harris experience.

You... you... you really can't do that to Jimi Hendrix.

We're gonna make T-shirts!

It's like I'm not actually here. I know.

I'm actually done listening to this.

Dad, come on. You haven't even heard us.

Mom, are we terrible?

I love... all my children.

Let us play one song for you guys.

Okay. You can play one song if you answer one question.

Who moved the Impala?

You're so funny!

Oh, oh, let's do the Train song.

Ah, you know what?

I think the salad might be... burning.

No, no, no.

You let them in here, we're both gonna listen to this.

Um, Eve wrote this, but I made it a little more hip and street.

One, two, three, four!

You know, I think they've done the impossible.

I'd rather listen to Hillary.

It has been five days, Mike.

What are we gonna do?

They stopped.

Maybe they finally heard themselves.

Ohh. Nope.

Nope. They just started a different song.

How could you tell?

You know, this is your fault.

When Eve wanted to explore her options

instead of going to college, you said it was a great idea.

Well, congratulations, Mike. You've created a musician.

What I should have created was a sound-proof garage.

Hey, Larabee.

Hey, Baxter!

I thought I'd come by to see how you were

enjoying the Cammy Harris Experience.

How did you know they were playing?

Oh. You live on the surface of the planet.

Chuck, Cammy lives with you and Carol now,

so why is the Cammy Harris Experience over here

when Cammy Harris lives over there?

They were in our garage for a month.

And there used to be two drummers.

Well, I-I-I can't take it anymore.

I'm just gonna tell them they have to stop.

- No, no, no, no. - You can't tell...

You can't tell... it's not gonna work!

Well, why not? Why?

Teenage musicians thrive on parental disapproval.

Oh. Yeah. It's like vitamins to them.

It just makes them stronger.

I hated the trombone when I was a kid,

but my Dad always told me how bad I was,

so I played it... for nine horrible years.

So... so, they won't stop even if we tell them how terrible they are?

No.

But they might stop... if we tell them how good they are.

It's time for them to share the gift.

What?

I got an idea, I got...

Oh, hey, guys, guys. Wow.

This is hard to say, but you guys are getting pretty good out there!

You think so? 'Cause I think so, but I'm in the band so I don't get to vote.

Like how you're not supposed to vote yourself Most Popular in the yearbook?

But I did. And Best Hair. 0 for 2.

Okay. Listen, I think it's time that you guys played for more people,

like a lot of people, like, a...

A gig!

Really?

Really?

Yeah. It's not fair that we're the only ones

that get to hear... that sound you make.

Well, what if we just, like, post a video or something?

Yeah, even better. No, no, no, no, no.

They should play in front of people

to get instant feedback from other individuals.

Oh, now I get what we're doing.

Right, right. Yes, yes, yeah.

Ed helped a guy put together a music club that has an open-mic night,

so you can get together and have...

A gig!

There you go!

Yes! Yes!

Yeah. It's happening!

Our moment!

The whole world is about to have The Cammy Harris Experience!

Look out, world!

Um can't we take this a slower?

Like start by playing in front of dogs, then work up to monkeys, then people?

Well, come on, we don't want to just rehearse the whole time.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you don't want to suck the life out of the music.

No! No! You want to blow somebody's mind?

I say you just stop rehearsing altogether.

Hey.

Someone cleaned up nice for date night.

Ugh. I really need a night out after home schooling Boyd all week.

I mean, I love that kid, but man, he is really into dinosaurs.

- Hi! - Hey.

Ah! Mwah!

Thank you so much for watching Boyd tonight.

Sure. Um, but, we don't really have to watch him, right?

Isn't he like 12?

Yeah, he's 9.

Aren't you, like, his aunt?

- Aunt Mandy. - Mm-hmm?

Can we go to the candy store later?

Oh. Can we?

Can we?

Uh, that's not a good idea.

Why?

Did he put a whole roll of bubble tape in his mouth?

'Cause I did that once.

Now every time I yawn, my jaw clicks.

Totally worth it.

Uh, no, we actually think he stole the candy,

but he claims a friend gave it to him.

Yeah. It sucks when you're sure your kid did something wrong

but he just won't admit it.

But it's a brilliant strategy when you're the kid.

He could be gifted.

He still might come clean.

Hopefully the guilt will just eat him alive inside.

Well, we're going dancing.

- Yep. - Okay.

Bye, Boyd!

Bye! We'll be back in a little bit, okay?

We love you.

Oh, and while we're gone,

if you want to know what your parents think about stealing,

it is very, very wrong.

- Bye! - Bye.

- All right. - Bye.

Have fun.

Where'd you get that?

A friend.

Boyd might be a thief... but he's got some pretty nice friends.

All right, guys. You're up next.

You got to get ready.

You know what?

I know, you were born ready.

Well, get ready anyway.

Just remember to stick to what we rehearsed.

Or, or, you know, just go for it.

- Yeah. - I like that.

Yeah, let's go for it!

And thanks again, Mr. Baxter, for setting this up.

Your faith in us means more than anything.

Okay.

Except fame. And money.

I have to ask a question.

First I got to ask a question.

Who moved the Impala? All right, wait. No.

I don't want Eve to go through this.

Are we... are we cruel, terrible people?

Or are we just being good parents?

I mean, this is something Eve's got to go through for her own good.

You know, and for our good.

Mostly for our good.

Mike, Vanessa, welcome, welcome.

Hey, Ed.

This is gonna be a great night.

Yeah? A great evening.

And remember, your money is no good here.

That's very generous of you, Ed.

He's not being generous.

Look at the sign... credit cards only?

This clientele only knows how to pay for something

by bumping their phones together.

I hate youth.

All right, hey!

Our next act, please welcome The Ugly Mutts!

Maybe these guys will be awful

and it will take some of the heat off the kids.

One, two, three, four.

Or not.

Okay, goodbye.