Single Parents

That's a big hole.

You can thank the axe-happy fire department for that.

You know who can fix this for you?

The twins?

No. I can't afford them.

Their pricing's insane.

Do you want it done cheap, or you want it done right?

Do people come to your work and try to low-ball you?

We don't need a contractor.

And do you wanna know why?

- Oh, God. They're gonna rap. - 'Cause...

See, now I'm sorry I'm here.

Oh, come on, Douglas.

It's the upbeat chant that Kevin and Kerry Kitchen do

before they start a big project.

Kevin and Kerry Kitchen?

From "Mr. and Mrs. Kitchen."

Streaming's top-rated home-renovation married couple?

- Unreal! - Unreal, Douglas.

You have to engage in the culture, bud.

You're only as young as your viewing habits.

I know who Mr. and Mrs. Kitchen are, okay?

I'm not some Appalachian dog chained to a dead tree.

I just don't understand why you think you can fix a wall

based a TV show you've seen

about construction workers in a failing marriage.

Kevin and Kerry are very much in love.

He is the fridge to her freezer.

Every relationship takes work.

- Every one. - All right.

That's plenty for me.

Be well.

- -

Dad, please hire the twins.

I want you coming home in one piece.

Too late. Our price just doubled.

You snooze, you lose, D'Amato.

- -

Thanks for helping me patch this hole.

Got to show Graham

that fire damage isn't that scary.

You know, he's Graham.

The way he deals with fear is very specific.

Turned his bedroom into a bunker again?

Yup.

He's probably gonna be in there for a while.

I can't afford to miss any more work.

I already used up all my sick days

on the "Titanic" incident.

Hats off to you, Mr. Cameron.

- What an imagination. - Oh, he didn't make it up, sweetie.

Titanic was a real ship that went down.

What?!

Okay, we have to fix this tonight.

And we will,

with the help of the heroic Mr. Kitchen.

- Ma'am. -

Hey, uh, Graham doesn't actually know

how the fire was started, does he?

That his dad was here

and you guys were doing stuff?

And then the printer exploded?

God, no!

No, I came up with a great cover story.

You have some nerve

showing your big, dumb face around here.

I maybe told him that the printer catching fire

was your fault.

What?! How?

Well, I might have told him

that you were printing out

some "Little Mermaid" fan fiction that you wrote,

where in the end,

instead of Ariel getting her voice back, she dies.

- Angie! - I panicked! I'm sorry.

I was raised to throw people under the bus.

Strangled by a soda-can ring?

You're sick!

Oh, man, Poppy, corporate life is killing me.

Must be nice to sit here and do nothing all day.

Miggy, I own a business,

and you're a temp paralegal, so...

I didn't hear none of that. I'm too tired.

- Hey, Miggy,

we made a human saddle

so you can give us piggyback rides all night.

Yeah, I saw them crafting it.

Seems sturdy, but doesn't look comfortable.

Huh. Well, hey, I have an idea.

How about we play a game called "Tired Dad"?

I'll be the Tired Dad, and you be the friends

who take care of his toddler son.

That's a game?

Yeah, and it just started. Here.

Take my car keys and get the A.C. running.

Toodle-oo.

Hey. So, Rory's at Graham's...

something about building a bunker.

I didn't ask, but I probably should've.

Anyway, on the bright side,

maybe you and I could hang out?

Oh, I would love to,

but I'm having some buddies over tonight.

- Ah. - I'd invite you,

but it just doesn't seem like your scene.

Oh. A bunch of old white guys assuring me they're not racist?

No, thanks. I've been to New England.

Okay, look, we'll have breakfast at the track tomorrow.

- Yes, please. - Okay.

- - Bye.

- Bad move, Poppy. You're blowing it. - Hmm?

You're dating now. You've gotta get in with his friends.

Well, yeah, but if I meet them, then I can't imagine

they're not the bad guys I know they are.

Mnh-mnh-mnh.

Look, relationships get stronger if you bond with the homies.

When I was with Zara,

I became a math whiz

to impress all her smart friends.

Yeah. I memorized every single number up to 236.

Well, you know you only have to memorize the first 10

and then a pattern takes over?

- What do you mean? - No, no, no.

We're not doing this.

But maybe you're right.

Maybe I shouldn't be afraid to meet Douglas' crowd.

Cool. I'll go over there with you.

Miggy, you're watching the kids.

Still?

Damn, I'm tired.

- My name is Kerry. - And I'm Kevin.

- And we're The Kitchens. - The Kitchens.

It's our real name.

And now our job!

- - Aren't these guys just the freakin' best?

I-I know Kevin is on trial for punching a Postmate,

but he's just so likable on the show.

I'm just still struggling with the fact

that you told Graham

I'm the one who set your house on fire.

But for a good reason...

killing America's favorite mermaid.

What was I supposed to tell him...

that his AWOL dad was here and we had sex?

No, you're right. It was one or the other.

Can you just take this fall for me,

just this one time?

I guess Kevin did take the fall for Kerry

during the Norfolk job,

when she installed the bidet wrong

and it perforated that homeowner's colon.

Yes. My man!

Now let's crank that theme song.

This is where I put my flashlight,

those are my canned goods,

and this is where I try to sleep

but don't, 'cause of all the new fear in my heart.

Oh, Graham.

Oh, honey, sweetie, baby, darling.

We need to get you out of here.

But it's scary out there!

And in here, it's safe.

Think about it.

It's just you and me.

We could create a whole new society.

- A whole new society? - Yeah.

And every society needs a ruler.

Well, it is my room...

Okay, I'll be the ruler of this bunker,

but you need to bend to my vision.

- What's your vision? - Simple...

extended Kennedy family reclusiveness,

full-on "Grey Gardens."

That just seemed like a bunch of words,

but I'm in. Mold me.

Hi.

I know you said it's not my scene,

but I want to meet your friends,

and if that means that

I have to sign up for an NRA mailing list,

then I'll send it straight to spam.

Oh, that won't help.

Once you're on the list, they find you anyway.

See? I'm already learning something new.

Now move aside. I want to meet the guys.

- You don't want to. Douglas?

Poppy, meet the girls.

Mmm. Look at that spackling.

Our patchwork is so good,

it makes the rest of the wall look like ass.

Now I can get Graham out of that bunker

before he starts pickling things.

All right, well, I will see you tomorrow.

Good night, Kerry.

Wait. You're leaving?

Uh, yeah, unless...