Key & Peele

Police say late last night,

they apprehended Rodney Gullivan,

and found a gun and narcotics in his truck.

He was charged with possession and assault on his fiancee,

and she is in the hospital recovering tonight.

Meanwhile, another woman

was sexually assaulted by Benjamin Braider

of Indianapolis.

The unidentified woman suffered a broken rib and a split lip.

She's in stable condition tonight.

Well, that's it for sports.

Chuck.

I might've been 13 or something,

I had a Willie Talk ventriloquist dummy.

- Willie Talk? - Willie Talk was his name.

That was-- Have you ever seen those?

He's got on, like, a white and red striped shirt,

- and it says, "Willie Talk." - Oh, my God.

And he's got a plastic head, and he's like... (mumbling)

And just,

like, a kind of standard-looking ventriloquist dummy.

They'd have these three types of dolls.

There was, like, a Willie Talk, a Wilma Talk,

- And then-- - Wilma Talk.

The girl version.

But it doesn't make a pun.

I know.

And then-- are you kidding me?

You know what? Can I just tell you something?

I'm gonna admit something right now.

- Just got the pun right now. - Gee.

Just got the pun right now.

I was so excited to get a Willie Talk

'cause my grandpa's-- my grandpa's name was Willie.

And my mom said, "Look, a ventriloquist dummy's named...

- "after your grandpa." - Dude.

I-- Oh, no, I'm 43.

- I got it right now. - Okay, okay.

I'm like, "Oh, will he tal--" What?

Good morning.

Clive "Double Down" Ruggins, I'm Daniel Tate.

I am your parole officer, and I just want to help you.

How the hell you supposed to help me, man?

What the you know about the streets,

what with your diplomas on the wall?

Settle down.

I know that you might not be able to relate to me,

but I think I know somebody

who you can relate to.

Little Homie.

What up?

What up? It's my favorite Clive.

- What up, dude? - Nah, dog, listen.

Hey, man, I ain't trying to talk to no puppet, man.

It's not a puppet. It's Little Homie,

and I would like for you to talk to him, Clive.

See, I used to work in the juvenile correction systems,

and I found this method very effective.

I ain't no juvenile, man, okay?

He's right.

Does he look like a kid to you?

Come on! He's a grown-ass man.

See? What?

Look, it's very important

for your parole that you talk to Little Homie.

What's up, Little Homie?

That's better, my negrumps.

Heh, what you getting into these days, man?

What it is? What it is?

You got a job yet?

I'm trying, man, but no one will hire me.

Yeah, hey, all that noise, man.

Between you and me, man,

ain't nobody trying to hire a with a record.

But hey, man, what you need to be doing

is get back into some crimes, mang.

What's going on, man?

- Are you talking to me? - Yeah.

Well, you should be talking to Little Homie right now.

- What is going on? - Yeah, bitch!

Talk to me!

Look at me when I'm talking to you!

Okay, okay, fine.

Damn!

So, you smoking weed, ?

No, man. No, no, Little Homie.

I'm done with drugs.

. I got something.

Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

Look at this here, negrumps.

Smoke this weed!

No, no, no, no, no, no, man.

I'm done, man. You hear me?

I'm done with drugs.

I ain't doing all that.

I don't know.

Little Homie seems pretty serious about that.

Here.

What? Look, I'm confused, man.

What do you want me to do here?

Well, I want you to clean up your act,

But you're not talking to me right now.

You're talking to Little Homie.

Now smoke that

or I'll smoke this bitch right here.

Oh, my God.

He's not messing around.

I think you better do what he says.

Okay, all right. Little Homie, man.

Just relax, man. Relax, Little Homie.

Take it easy. I'm just-- I'm gonna smoke it down.

Wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no,

No, you can't fool me.

You're trying to trick me, man.

No, I'm done with the weed.

Oh!

Catch, .

Dumbass!

Now your fingerprints is on the weapon!

You in this with me now, right?

Okay, Little Homie, yeah.

Hmm.

Oh! Oh!

You failed the test.

I have no choice but to revoke your parole.

What? Oh, man.

Ain't this about a bitch?

On your feet, baby boy.

Get him out of here.

Come on.

I can't believe that negrumps actually thought I killed you.

I know, right?

He's here. He's here.

Come on, baby, come on. Get your sign.

Brandon, bring the camera.

Come on. Let's go.

Here you go.

Hold it out.

Hold it out right for Daddy, so Daddy can see.

Here you go.

Rocky! Oh, my boy.

- There's my boy. - He got me a Teddy Bear.

- How's my Rocky doing? - He did bring you a Teddy Bear.

Oh, my gosh, look at this.

Look at this good boy.

Yo, hey, hey, you want that?

You want that toy? You want that toy?

- You want that toy? - Why isn't he coming, Mommy?

- That's a good boy. - He's coming, he's coming.

Oh, my gosh, I love you so much, Rock.

Oh, hey, let's go.

Come on, boy.

Good dog. Good dog.

There we go.

Oh, I missed you so much.

That's my Rocky!

That's my Rocky!

Who's your favorite actor all time?

My favorite actor of all time?

- Still working today. - Who's yours?

Do you know yours off the top of your head?

My favorite is probably...

you.

- No, you can't do that. - You're my favorite actor.

No, no, no.

What is yours, but seriously?

Working, living.

You know, don't-- and feel free to not say me.

All I'm saying is you're my favorite actor.

- Oh, my God. - Who's your favorite actor?

It shouldn't be that hard.

It should be someone who just comes off the top of your--

You are. You are.

Why?

Like, what is it about my, I don't know--

It's the subtle-- Like,

a lot of the subtlety that you use when you're performing.

- Subtlety. - You know what I mean?

Sometimes, there's, like, a lot going on back here,

You want to put it on the back.

You want to put it in the back 'cause

if it's happening inside, you want the audience to feel it.

You don't want 'em to see it.

- Mm-hmm, yup. Yup. - Well, good answer.

You know who else I like, though?

I do like Robert De Niro a lot.

- Ah, he's a hack. - A lot of his early work.

He's bull .

Really?

You guys see anything?

Nothing yet.

Okay.

We'll wait until dark, and then sneak back across the line,

and rejoin our unit.

Did you guys hear something?

Oh, hell.

These Americans prove to be no obstacle at all.

- Search the hotel. - Yeah.

You've done well to secure this position.

That could bode well for promotion.