Impastor

Previously on "Impastor"...

How come every time you save me from someone, they end up dead?

Would you rather have it the other way around?

- You ever seen this guy? - No.

- I'm in love with you. - Do you mean that?

And if I wasn't around,

- you'd be dead. - How is that?

Guy with a gun to your head?

You shot him?

But how? What were you doing out there?

I saw that guy hit you and throw you in the trunk,

so I followed you.

And then when he took you into the woods,

I had to do something.

And you just happened to have a gun?

Ever since Kenny, I kept one in the trunk.

Buddy: And you just happened to be a great shot?

Alexa: I grew up hunting with my dad.

Alexa,

why didn't you tell me this before?

Can't you infer that part?

Maybe I could if I knew what "infer" meant.

I had just shot a man.

I didn't know who he was or why he wanted you dead.

Buddy, this is insane.

I still can't sleep thinking about it.

I have to know. Who was that guy I shot?

All right.

He was some right-wing religious nut

who hated the idea of gays being pastors.

At least that's what he told me.

- A religious nut? - Yes.

Then why didn't you go to the police?

Because I don't want the rest

of his hetero hit squad coming after me.

Buddy, do you really expect me to believe that?

- Hi. - Hey.

I forgot my knitting.

Everything okay?

Yeah.

Alexa just came by to borrow a...

an orange. Here you go.

- Oh, thanks. - Sure.

Well, have a good night.

Well, that was weird.

Really weird.

Who comes by to borrow an orange?

I couldn't stop thinking about

what Alexa had told me

and how she wasn't buying what I had told her.

Hey, guys.

What are you doing?

Just pounding a tasty corn dog.

Buddy, how could you eat there?

They're antigay.

Well, I wasn't flaunting it.

These corn dog bigots are using

so-called religious grounds to discriminate against us.

We're boycotting them until they change their policy.

I told you all about this.

Russell, sometimes when it looks like I'm listening to you,

I'm actually lost in prayer.

I won't apologize for that.

Well, now that you know,

you are gonna get rid of that, right?

- Dora? - Hi.

Yes, uh, as you know, the election

for church president is next week,

and once again, I'm leading in the polls.

Oh, Alden.

You make the same joke every year.

Nobody ever runs against you, so... ah-ha-ha!

Oh! People have run against me in the past,

at their peril.

If you remember, my last opponent vanished.

Glenn moved to Boise to open a Krispy Kreme.

Well, that's your version.

Anyway, I'll be giving my victory speech next Sunday,

so I'll need you to draw up a list

of all my accomplishments over the last year.

Your accomplishments?

Like the rummage sale or the drive for the homeless

or maybe the inter-faith breakfast,

which were all my ideas?

Which I authorized.

- Hey, Alexa. - Sheriff Graham, hi.

You know, I'm so glad I ran into you.

I wanted to ask you about Ray Florez,

the now-deceased guy you said you hadn't seen but you had.

How is it someone you didn't know have your number

and texted you, "Car's gone. You're next"?

I have no idea.

I guess I was his next Lutheran Trinity target.

Ohh, okay. Oh, hey.

Can you pass me a couple sugars?

I've got a bit of a sweet tooth.

Oh, my goodness.

Where did you get those bruises?

Oh, these? They're nothing.

Well... uh...

looks like you have a matching set.

Well, okay.

Just between us,

I have an adventurous side in the bedroom.

Ohh.

Get it, girl.

Buddy: Finally...

a place where no one will judge me.

Russell: Buddy?

Buddy?

What's up?

We need to talk.

People are saying you don't care about gay rights,

and it's getting very hard to defend you.

Defend me?

I have been sheltering you like a lioness with her cub,

but you haven't done one thing for the gay community

since you got here.

I hooked up with Steve the mailman.

That was pretty gay.

No youth outreach program, no LGBT fund raiser,

no gay-straight alliance symposium, nothing.

You haven't even come to one of our weekly coffee meet-ups.

There. That's the one!

I'll do the coffee thing!

We're talking like an hour, right?

- Oh, Dora, hi. - Hi.

- Can I ask you a favor? - Shoot.

Although I probably shouldn't be saying that

to someone who's packing heat.

Um, you know, from what I hear,

you're pretty tapped into things around this town.

Well, I have always felt you can observe a lot by watching.

Mmm, well, that's great because I really could use

some help on this Ray Florez case.

Ray Florez? Isn't he the guy

that burned Buddy's car?

You are tapped in. See, the thing is,

I have reason to believe that Pastor Barlow

knows more about Ray's death than he's letting on.

I'd like for you to find out what you can for me.

So... so you want me to spy on Buddy?

Oh, no, no, no, just keep your eyes and ears open,

particularly when he's around Alexa.

I'm sorry, Sheriff.

I'm just not comfortable with that.

Okay, I understand.

But if you do happen to hear something,

give me a call.

The sheriff is starting to put the pieces together.

She noticed the bruises on my wrists

from where Ray tied me up.

What did you tell her?

That I was adventurous in the bedroom.

How adventurous?

Butt stuff?

In case she asks, we need to have our stories straight.

Buddy, I have the bulletin that...

Oh... sorry for interrupting.

Okay, I'll just give you two some privacy.

I need to know.

Are we in this together or not?

- Of course we are. - Then no more bullshit!

Who was that man I shot?

It's the only way that I'll ever be able to trust you.

His name was Damien.

And he was a bad, bad dude.

You did the world a favor by getting rid of him.

Why was he trying to kill you?

I owed him a lot of money.

From gambling.

Look, I thought I'd be able to leave my debts in the past

and make a fresh start in Ladner, but he found me.

And that's the truth.

You think that was impressive?

Watch this.

You guys, guess who's coming to Judson Theater.

"Thin Lizzy." Who's in?

Oh, I'm in.

Got my T-shirt from their '97 world tour.

Buddy, "Thin Lizzy" is a one-woman show

about a girl with body issues.

Oh, then I'm out.

I'm not into skinny chicks.

Or any chicks.

Vaginas? No thanks.

Am I right?

Ooh, look!

Our Corn Dog House boycott just got another like.

That makes 17.

You know, if you want to take down these corn dog jerks,

you need to go bigger than social media.

You gotta make some noise.

What do you mean? Like a protest?

- Sure. - What a fantastic idea

from this active leader of our community.

And that was just off the top of my dome.

How 'bout we protest Corn Dog House Sunday afternoon?

- Both: Yeah! - Okay.

Yeah, go get 'em, guys.