Shrinking

Raymond, Paul said he's ready for you.

At long last.

Lisa, let's boogie.

Steven, come on. We're getting out of here.

What are these for?

Joy.

Fun, right? Come on.

Don't forget Mom.

You sure we should do this today?

It's been long enough. She wanted you to spread her ashes, right?

I know, but it's a little windy.

- I don't wanna get any of her in my mouth. - Look, I get it.

It's my dead wife's birthday this week.

I've been stuck too.

I think we should move forward.

It looks closed.

Yeah. Don't worry about it.

So, I saw you're getting a fancy award.

- Don't be judgmental... - Oh, man.

But I have a Google Alert on you.

That is so lame.

Wow. I just said very clearly, don't be judgmental.

- Yeah, but I didn't agree to that. - That's fair.

Yeah, the APA is giving me a career achievement award.

Congratulations.

Come on, man. It sucks.

Well, is there anything I can do for you in this challenging time?

No. It's just that I'm not ready to be put out to pasture.

- Can I say something? - I feel you talk all the time.

I do. But I'm paying you for it, so I'm good.

Listen, when I came to see you over 20 years ago...

Twenty-two years ago.

I was drinking too much, and my marriage had ended,

and my self-esteem was so low

that I spent most of my time wondering how I'm gonna kill myself.

Now, my life is so good that half the time I come through that door,

I don't know what I want to talk about.

Today I was gonna talk about feeling old

and wondering if I can still pull off a leather jacket.

- You can't. - Ouch.

Listen, Paul. You've spent your whole career helping people.

You deserve to be celebrated for a minute.

Some people might not agree with that.

Yeah, like who?

Okay. Well, just know that I...

am very grateful.

Thank you, Paul.

You're welcome.

Do you think I could pull off leather pants?

- No. - What about a bodysuit?

I think your time is up.

Okay, Lisa. Everybody gets feedback at work, okay?

But you hear criticism at a 10 when it's been given to you at a 2.

You're not wrong.

Hey, you are not your mistakes.

But my boss thinks I'm a idiot now.

That's your mom's voice, not your boss's. You are not an idiot.

You know how I know that?

It's because you are the shit.

I like when you curse.

That's why I fucking do that shit, bitch.

See, this is why you worth the 90-minute drive.

'Cause you also the shit.

Lisa, this is not about me. But please, don't stop.

But goddamn, 90 minutes?

Yeah. It's worth it coming to see a Black therapist.

I don't have to explain to you about my mom's narcissism.

Or the fact that it's not codependent

that my whole family goes to the mall with my cousin when he need a new suit.

Well, we are a communal people.

Thank you.

But seriously, your family is codependent as hell.

So these were her seats, huh?

Yeah, but it feels weird leaving her here.

If it helps, you can talk to her first.

- Seriously? - Yeah.

- Say all the things you never got to say. - Everything?

I mean, you can leave out the dream where she cut off your penis, but yeah.

Yeah.

Mom, sometimes you were horrible.

Like, really fucking mean. And judgmental.

You stole thousands of dollars from your church.

Did not know that.

But you did raise me.

I love you.

That was beautiful.

- Thanks. - Mostly.

Should we spread this lady out or what?

Yeah.

Take all the time you need.

Watch my feet though.

Roger that.

I was wrong. We should run.

Right there.

Security. Stop! Hey!

Dump as you go.

Dump and run.

What were you up to?

Hey.

That's all we get.

But it was so fun.

Okay, I love you a lot.

You can't even hear the music.

I know. I just wanted to be a part of it so bad.

Hey, can my grounding please be over?

- Yes. - Really?

In two more weeks.

- Okay, that was mean. - You stole my car, you little fuck.

Fair.

Hey, remember how you used to come lay on the end of the bed?

You'd tell me and your mom about some song you were obsessed with.

- We'd have a listening party. - Yeah.

Then I'd play one of my favorite songs for you.

You'd tell me that my taste in music sucked.

Yeah. I miss that.

If it helps, your taste in music still does suck.

Glad you still think so.

Seriously, what is a Goo Goo Doll?

Okay.

- To Derek. Cheers! - Thank you.

That is so kind. I appreciate it.

Retired, and with that head of hair?

The world is yours.

Stop.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know. I guess the first year I'll just chill at home.

That's why I invited you all.

Partly because I'm so happy for you.

I love you so much.

And partly because I don't want any questions when I take my own life.

That was one hell of a toast.

Thank you.

I have big wedding news.

Are we done celebrating Derek?

It's cool. I might have a big shindig in a few weeks with friends.

You know, couple hundred people, so...

Are we invited?

You are now.

I'm sorry, a couple hundred people?

Guys, does D-Bone have a better life than us?

What can I say? I like people, and people like me.

That's true. It's annoying.

Hey. Hi. I think we moved on to my thing.

- I don't know. - Sorry.

- Did we? - No.

I don't think so.

Jimmy has been reinstated.

He is once again performing my wedding ceremony.

Wow.

Why did you let him back in?

Because I'm a kind and benevolent prince.

- Okay, I don't know if you're a prince. - No.

I also guilted him for being a selfish son of a bitch, so...

- Yeah. That's what it is. - Yeah, that makes sense.

I still don't love these two as friends.

- And we don't give a shit. - It makes us stronger.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Hey, sorry I'm running late. Let's go.

It's fine. I have to pee actually. Can I...

Gaby, boundaries. You can hold it.

Are you serious? You know how much water I drink in a day. One second.

- Good morning. - Oh, damn. Wow.

Wow, that's a good surprised face.

Don't you have to go to the bathroom?

No. I can hold it in for this.

Gaby, this is Dr. Baram.

You've seen me naked. Go with my first name.

- Julie. - Hello, Julie. I am Gaby.

Well, I should put some pants on.

But see if you can cheer grumpy up, here.

He's pissed because he's an award-winning therapist.

Is he gonna win any awards in the bedroom? Schwing!

Holy shit. I don't wanna know that. Actually I do.

What? Oh, my God. I'm sorry.

When I get nervous, I start just saying stupid shit.

And that's what's happening right now. Sorry.

Are you gonna take her to the awards ceremony?

Go to the bathroom.

She's fun.

Isn't she?

Look, the award ceremony is in Vegas,

- and I'm not sure if I'm... - All right. No, no. Relax.

- If I'm gonna go. - No.

No, much as I was flattered by the invitation from your colleague,

I'm just not sure we're at the sit-together-through-boring-stuff stage.

I have never actually been at that stage, and I've been married.

I don't know where the bathroom is.

Down the hall, on the left.

- Oh, my God. Look at her legs. - Not a word.

- Congratulations. - Go.

Okay, I'm gonna...

But seriously, I'm super happy for you.

This is really inspiring.

I didn't think I'd be able to have sex when I got old...

- Go. - But I'm gonna fuck forever.

- This is awesome. - Stop it. Go.

It's nice to have you working here.

The exciting world of corporate accounting.

- Hope you're having a little fun. - Are you kidding me, Dad?

I love scanning these documents.