The Prom

Let's get to it.

All those in favor…

All opposed.

Well, the PTA has an accepted set of rules concerning the prom.

Young ladies must wear non-revealing dresses.

Young men must wear suits or tuxes.

And if a student chooses to bring a date, they must be of the opposite sex.

Well, can't you just ban this student?

Well, we've been advised that there may be some legal repercussions

if we prevent this girl from attending,

so although it breaks my heart, we have no choice.

-There won't be a prom. - Mrs. Greene, a question.

Have you asked the students what they think of this?

Are you choosing not to comment?

Hey, there's Emma! Can we get a comment?

Can you answer some questions?

Can we get a statement?

Emma, what do you think of the PTA's decision to cancel prom?

Emma, do you have a response?

- -

It's Frank DiLella with New York 1's On Stage.

We're here for the opening night of Eleanor! The Eleanor Roosevelt Musical,

starring the incomparable Dee Dee Allen.

-Dee Dee! You're a Broadway star. -Yes, I am.

You have your choice of roles. What drew you to Eleanor?

Well, Eleanor Roosevelt was a brave, powerful, charismatic woman

who no one had ever heard of.

Her story needs to be told.

People need to know it is possible to change the world,

whether you're a homely middle-aged First Lady

or a Broadway star!

Barry Glickman! You were brilliant as FDR.

From the moment I first stepped into FDR's shoes…

And when I say "shoes," I mean wheelchair.

…I had an epiphany.

I realized there is no difference

between the president of the United States and a celebrity.

We both have power. The power to change the world.

It's a weighty responsibility.

Let's talk process.

Bravo!

The first review is in. New Jersey Star-Ledger.

Don't tell me…

unless it's a rave or a mixed-positive.

It says we're a hit!

- -

Oh, my God!

To Eleanor! May she run for eternity!

To Eleanor!

It's just what we do.

The rest of the reviews are coming in!

New York Post, Associated Press, New York Times.

- -The New York Times!

Wow…

What?

- Wow… -What's happening?

This is not a review you want when you have crappy advance sales.

This is gonna close us.

What didn't they like? Was it the hip-hop?

Yes, but not only that.

-For God's sake, Sheldon. Just read it. -What? Read.

Okay, just the highlights.

"Barry Glickman's FDR might just be the most insultingly misguided,

offensive, and laughable performance

that this reviewer has ever had the squirming misfortune to endure."

That's not so bad.

-Do her. Do her. -I'm just saying.

Oh? Mmm.

"Watching Dee Dee Allen's Eleanor Roosevelt

croaking out a heavy-handed message of activism

is like paying an aging drag queen

to shove a syrup-soaked American flag down my throat."

Well, that…

That's not criticism.

That's just… It's just a per… …a personal attack.

"If you're considering buying a ticket to this show, do yourself a favor."

"Buy a few feet of good, heavy rope instead

and then go hang yourself."

Oh, God! Oh, God!

What? Was the show really that bad?

It's not the show. It's you two.

You're just not likeable.

-What? -What?

Nobody likes a narcissist.

-Oh, this… -Oh, that.

Leave it to me. I'll go and try and change the narrative once again.

-I hate this world! This is bullshit! -Just horrible. It's just… It hurts.

It… It hurts my heart.

- -Where did everybody go?

-What can I get you? - Yola Mezcal blackberry smash.

My condolences, Dee Dee.

But remember, you have friends.

Thank you. Who are you?

Trent Oliver.

Uh, oh…

-We've done five shows together. -Oh, really? Oh, my God.

Trent went to Juilliard. Won't shut up about it.

-Oh, right, Trent! Of course, Trent! -Trent.

Why are you dressed like a waiter?

-I'm in between gigs at the moment. - Hmm.

Honestly, Dee Dee, I feel adrift as I did in my days before Juilliard.

Oh, my God.

You see, my passions are fueled by the power of Lady Theater

and how she can, with a gentle touch of her hand,

sculpt a human soul.

-But we learned at Juilliard… -Oh, mother of God.

If I could soliloquize, "If you prick me, do I not bleed?"

"And if you do not pay me, do I not still act?"

That might be enough.

Still, I have played Hamlet,

and yet I'm only known as that guy from the beloved early aughts' sitcom…

Talk to the Hand.

I question the very meaning of my existence.

Maggie Smith once approached me in a men's bathroom and she said,

"Who sent you? Was it Michelle Dockery?"

"Because the court said 500 yards." You could tell she was scared.

-Hey, guys! - Angie! Angie.

I'm sorry your show closed on opening night again!

Welcome to the world of the unemployed. Top me off.

I thought you were in Chicago.

I just quit.

Twenty years in the chorus and they still wouldn't let me play Roxie Hart.

- Aw. -You wanna know who's playing the role?

-Kelly Ripa? -Cher?

-Connie Chung. -Kris Jenner?

No, Tina Louise.

Ginger from Gilligan's Island.

Oh, my God, is she still alive?

We're wasting our lives.

Hmm, it's true. At least we're all in the same boat.

"Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows."

- Oh, my God. -That's from The Tempest.

Okay, one, shut up. Two, I refuse to give up, okay?

We're… We're still celebrities. We still have power.

Now, The Times sort of castrated you as it were.

Yep. They wrote you off as aging narcissists.

I still don't understand what's wrong with that.

There's a very simple way that we can still love ourselves

yet appear to be decent human beings, okay?

We will become celebrity activists.

- Oh! Brilliant! - Right?

-All we need is a cause. -A cause célèbre.

Everybody think of some causes. Go.

-Um, poverty? -Too big.

World hunger.

That is also a major thing. No, we need something we can handle.

Some little injustice we can drive to. Recycling.

-Let's see what's trending. - Recycling's good.

-Why are there so many award shows? -Parking.

- Or the TVs in the back of cabs. -Oh! Oh, yeah, what about this girl?

Oh, my gosh. Check this out.

- What girl? -It's all over Twitter.

Oh.

She's from Edgewater, Indiana.

She's a lesbian. She wanted to take her girlfriend to the high school prom,

and the PTA went apeshit and they canceled it.

They canceled prom?

-Are they allowed to do that? -No.

Principal Hawkins, your response.

The first thing I'm going to do is contact the Indiana state's attorney.

This is not about school rules. This is a civil rights case.

Wait, seriously?

I'm betting pressure from the state's attorney will stop these bigots cold.

It better. Because I'll tell you this much.

If word gets out, people are gonna get mad.

This pisses me off.

The next thing you know, some modern-day Eleanor Roosevelt

is gonna march down here and all hell's gonna break loose.

We have got to go down there and raise holy hell.