Shag

Good morning, miss Luanne.

Oh, damn! Every damn thing has to happen

When you're in a damn hurry!

Why Luanne,

You think your daddy can't hear that language?

Dear, you're not wearing bermuda shorts to Fort Sumter,

Least of all to someone's house.

We're all going to change

In a gas station before we get there.

Senator Clatterbuck's daughter

Does not undress in a gasoline station.

Now go upstairs and change.

Nicely. Damn! Damn! Damn!

Now, do try to learn something.

The civil war started in Fort Sumter.

Everyone knows that, mama.

And do try to be gracious. Remember who you are.

Yes, ma'am.

And don't wear dark lipstick.

Yes, ma'am.

And don't stay out too late.

Yes, ma'am.

And don't let any of the other girls

Drive my car!

Yes, ma'am.

Other than that, have a good time.

Pudge? Pudge, you forgot your metrecal, honey.

Oh, mama!

Now, you stay on your diet, dear.

You want to fit into that bridesmaid's dress.

Bye, mama.

Hey, Luanne.

Hey.

Is your mama still making you diet?

There'll be nothing left, Pudge.

She hasn't noticed yet.

Bye, sweetheart. Y'all have fun.

Woo!

Thought you'd never get here, Luanne.

So did I.

Suppose your mama calls my mama?

She won't. She won't.

She's going off campaigning with daddy somewhere.

What did your mama say about the trip?

Ahem.

"I'm so thrilled you girls are taking an interest

"In your heritage.

"Now, you take this jar of my pepper relish

Oh! "To Luanne's aunt devote!"

"And stay on your diet, dear. "

Yuck, yuck, yuck.

Melaina, unlock this door.

You hear me?

I'm not decent, daddy.

Tell those girls to lay off that horn.

You're not going with them.

Yes, sir.

And you ain't foolin' me

With that Fort Sumter story.

Yes, sir.

There she is.

She doesn't know that house has a door.

Someday, her daddy's gonna take that ladder away.

Come on!

Go, go, go!

Lay rubber! Whew!

Melaina!

Get back here right now!

Damn holy roller!

I can't believe you're just up and leaving me

With the whole weddin'.

Harley, it's only for 3 days!

Don't raise your arms.

3 days is a long time.

Harley, just let her go on this little outing

So I can get on without all this fuss.

You haven't even chosen your bouquet yet.

Don't raise your arms, Carson.

Sorry, mama.

Fort Sumter?

I don't know why you have to go now...

uh-Oh, Harley's having a hissy.

Y'all told.

Uh-Uh. Shh, we did not.

Carson still thinks we're going to Fort Sumter.

She's gonna lay a brick when she finds out

Where we're takin' her.

French him, Carson!

Can you imagine marrying anybody so dullsville?

Kill me now.

Do y'all think Carson and Harley

Have premarital sex?

Melaina! Gross!

Carson told me Harley doesn't see any point in it.

They're saving it for their wedding night.

Then he'll spring it on her

He doesn't have a tallywagger.

Shh. Y'all don't talk ugly

About Harley in front of Carson.

Remember, we have to make this the best weekend

Of her entire life.

Hi, Harley.

Hello.

Hi, y'all. You ok, sugar?

Harley didn't want me to come.

It's gonna be fun.

Y'all behave yourselves.

Bye. Bye.

We're on our way!

Ok, everybody, "how mature are you?

"The night before the prom, your steady breaks his leg.

"Do you:

"A. Sit home with him watching TV

"And let your new prom gown go to waste?

"Or b. drag him to the prom,

"And then dance with his best friend all night?"

What does the best friend look like?

Melaina...

A. You'll sit home with him

And let your new prom dress go to waste.

Luanne is mature!

"Question number 2.

"At the party, your dreamboat hands you an alcoholic beverage.

"Do you: a. Politely refuse

"And ask for a soft drink-"

Or b. Get knee-Walking drunk

And let him go to third base?

Melaina, no.

Ok, Pudge, here's your fortune.

Yellow.

Y-E-L-L-O-W.

"You will marry bullwinkle and have three kids. "

At least I won't be an old maid.

If I'm not engaged by the time I'm 20,

I'm going to kill myself.

Luanne, that was our turnoff.

Oh, damn!

Guess that means we just have to go to Myrtle Beach!

Woo! In that case...

Melaina!

Grab the wheel.

Luanne!

Are y'all going crazy?

Oh, Jesus Christ!

What are y'all doing?

Goin' to Myrtle Beach to meet boys.

Turn on the radio!

Woo!

Be careful!

Let's go on everything.

We will.

Hey, y'all, look.

There's the ocean.

It's great here.

I want to call Harley.

You're not calling Harley.

Carson, we only came here so you could have a good time.

I'm not allowed to go to Myrtle Beach.

We won't tell on you.

Sug', we're not in high school anymore.

Oh! I forgot it was sun fun festival

This weekend.

Hi.

Hi.

Where y'all from?

None of your beeswax.

"None of your beeswax?"

That's so queer!

Ha ha ha.

They were cute.

He was uncouth!

He was adorable. Hey, y'all!

Melaina, don't. Come on!

I've been coming to Myrtle Beach

Since I was a little-bitty girl.

We just don't date these local boys.

Well, I'm not stuck having to marry

The son of some old plantation owner, Luanne.

I can have fun.

I think you're forgetting whose weekend this is.

Oh, my God. Look.

That's where Florence Jowers

Got pregnant last year.

It's not too late to go to Fort Sumter.

Honestly, Carson! We're not gonna get pregnant.

We can conduct ourselves as ladies,

No matter where we are.

Y'all forgot your beer!