American Horror Story

Woman: Dear diary,

It was a Saturday, the 3rd of September,

That the world as I had known was forever doomed.

The shadows that had sheltered me were banished

By the blinding light of scrutiny.

I knew I was about to enter the gates of hell.

But like the inescapable pull of gravity,

There was nothing I could do about it.

(dog barking, rooster crowing in distance)

¶ doo-da-doo, doo-da-doo

¶ doo-da-doo-a-loo-a-loo, doo-da-doo...¶

Mrs. Tattler?

Mrs. Tattler, it's bill palmer.

Your milkman.

Mrs. Tattler?

Oh, sweet jesus!

Straight to the operating suite!

One bladder.

Three kidneys--

Two on the left and one on the right.

Nurse?

Are you writing this down?

Yes, doctor.

Four lungs.

Two hearts

With a shared circulatory system.

Woman: "the victim, 63-year old

"eudora tattler, was thought

"by neighbors to have lived alone.

"the unfortunate creature discovered at the crime scene,

"who witnesses are describing as 'monstrously deformed,'

May be a relation, sources say."

I don't blame the old lady for keeping it hidden.

If I gave birth to something like that,

I'd drown it in the bathtub first thing.

Penny, that's terrible.

You better not let miss kilgreen

Hear you talking like that.

Or catch you wearing red lips on the floor.

She's already got it in for you.

I have rounds.

Can I help you?

I have come to visit my poor ailing aunt.

But... I have trouble navigating your halls.

Um, you're not supposed to smoke

In this wing, ma'am.

Oh, it's fine.

It's lucky strike. It's good for you.

Here.

Have one.

Go ahead.

Go ahead, try it.

So, tell me,

My peppermint angel.

I could not help but see a police officer

Sitting outside one of the doors.

Yeah. That's on account of what's in there.

And what is in there?

I read in the papers that something quite

Extraordinary was brought in here.

"extraordinary"?

I guess to the bumpkins in this town maybe.

I take it you're not fond

Of the sleepy little hamlet of jupiter.

So, to fill the idle hours, you volunteer here?

Hell, my mom made me.

It was this or reform school.

Oh... You are young

And full of life.

You should not be surrounded by

Death and disease.

Life is to be lived.

You said it, sister.

here.

I know what a girl like you needs.

"fraulein elsa's cabinet of curiosities."

What is it?

Only by entering

Will you learn its secrets.

Whoa, miss.

You don't want to go in there, believe me.

Will I find a monster?

That's what the papers are saying, officer pipes.

Papers ain't lying.

All the more reason to allow in

Just a touch of human kindness.

Don't you agree?

¶

Oh...

I don't know you.

What pretty girls you are.

And so fortunate

To have a sister.

You will need something to wear when you leave here.

I will be honest.

It was quite eerie out there.

At your farmhouse.

Violence lingers in the air...

Why is she being so nice to us?

She wants something.

You know they called you

Dim-witted in the newspapers,

Because you don't speak.

But someone reads.

And my intuition tells me

It wasn't your dear departed mom.

Betty grable is my favorite.

There's a bit of betty about you.

Sensual lips.

That sassy smile.

I've had a long, complicated love affair

With show business myself, you know?

Have you ever met betty?

Our paths nearly crossed.

But fate intervened.

When we lived in alabama,

I saw her in tin pan alley.

Shut up! What's wrong with you?

Anyway.

Let's have a look at you, lefty, hmm?

You're no betty grable.

But...

You do remind one of jean arthur.

Have you ever had a boyfriend?

Either of you?

I must confess:

One of your doctors...

Shared your x-ray reports with me.

It says you have

Two hearts.

But... Only one

Reproductive system.

Complicated, no?

Ah, tell me.

Has anyone tasted

Your cherry pie?

Oh, dear god-- she's a psycho pervert!

She's down to earth is all.

So, you're virgins?

Sad for you.

But do you at least

Pleasure yourselves?

She never wants that.

I hate you.

If I touch myself,

She closes her eyes and pretends she doesn't feel anything.

She told me she leaves her body.

I think she's lying.

I think she likes it.

Oh, shut your disgusting mouth, you slut!

And you...

Get out of this room.

Yeah.

You rest now.

But I'll be back.

I never give up on a friend.

Meine liebchen.

No, no, no. Don't stop.

Come on, I want to do it.

We can't afford a baby.

Well, I stole two rubbers

From drucker's because

I just can't get enough of you.

I have something for you, too.

It's in my car.

Stay here.

Okay.

Um...

Who are you?

oh, oh.

Oh, for me.

Oh, okay.

Thank you.

What-what happened to the rest of your mask?

Who the hell is this? Wait, y-you didn't hire him?

Troy...?

Troy?

Bonnie: No!

No!

No! (panting)

No!

¶ look good in your short shorts ¶

¶ down at the beach ¶

¶ I really go for your tan