It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie

Happy holidays. Merry Christmas.

Happy holidays.

Happy holidays.

Happy Hanukkah.

Happy Christmas Eve to you.

Hurry, Gladys.

I'm coming.

Wow, cool trains. Uh-huh.

Coming through. Excuse me.

Hey, close the lid. Hey, what are you doing?

You're letting the heat out.

You're dragging it.

I got it.

You're dragging it!

I got it!

Whoa. Yeah.

Yeah!

Deck the halls with boughs of holly

Fa-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

'Tis the season to be jolly

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you.

Whoa. Merry Christmas to you. Bless you.

Why, if I live to be 102,

I'll never forget the year that the Muppets almost missed Christmas.

An icy storm blew in, and I...

Hey, buddy. What are you doing?

We're trying to make a movie over here.

Why, I'm Joe Snow, your affable, good-natured narrator.

Snowman narrator? We don't have no snowman narrator.

Now get out of shot, you Burl Ives wannabe.

What, no snowman narrator?

Well, that's a big mistake.

I'm part of the whole holiday collective consciousness.

I'll have my attorneys see you. Frog, Slush, and Snow Cohen.

Hey, jingle bells, jingle bells jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh

Hey, jingle bells, jingle bells jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride...

Gonzo, I sold my collection of rare cheese

to buy you this crystal petri dish for your mold collection.

Oh!

Uh... Gee, Rizzo, I sold my mold collection

to buy you this diamond-tipped cheese slicer.

Did you save the receipt?

And making spirits bright

What fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight

Oh, Beakie, you sold your periodic table of the elements

autographed by Stephen Hawking

to buy me this stand for my electron microscope?

Oh, but I sold my electron microscope

to buy you these rare mutagenic elements.

But don't open it.

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells jingle all the way

Johnny, my best friend in the whole wide world,

I sold my moped to buy you this solid-gold record player.

Well, thanks, Sal.

Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh

Yeah, jerk.

Hey, there he is.

Hey, come on, sing a song with me, baby.

I don't feel like singing right now. What?

Yeah, he doesn't feel like singing with you.

Right, Kermit, my new best friend in the world?

Oh, Kermie, mistletoe. Here we go, Rowlf.

Sleighing song tonight!

Leave me alone.

Oh, where's your holiday spirit?

Piggy. Just one Christmas kiss. Hmm?

Piggy! Would you please leave me alone?

Well...

Kermit, what's wrong?

Yeah, your gloomy behavior would make us

wonder if something bad has happened.

We lost everything.

Huh?

Uh, you're good, I didn't know you could read people like that.

It's a gift. Like my gold record player.

I'm sorry I convinced you all to work so hard and believe in this dream.

It was all for nothing!

We lost the money, we lost the theater. We've lost everything.

But it'll work out all right. Right, Uncle Kermit?

I mean, we'll just all pull together and everything'll be okay.

Right? Yeah.

Yeah.

Not this time.

Everybody!

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Kermit! Help me, I'm stuck!

I can't help you. I'll ruin your life.

How could this happen?

Someone has got to do something!

Oh, dear.

Oh, Glenn. Hi.

Kermit the Frog has got a real problemo.

So, you're gonna wanna send someone down there

so they can dish out a little yuletide justice.

Oh, sorry, Dan, no can do.

Daniel. I prefer Daniel.

This is a major crisis.

Dan. Danny.

Daniel.

We have strict guidelines

that define what is and isn't an emergency.

I can't just dispatch a field agent without

a thorough review from the subcommittee.

Come on. You know that.

Listen, Feliz Navidad, amigo.

Huh?

Fine.

If you're not gonna do your job,

well, I'm gonna do it for you.

I'm taking Kermit's case to the Boss.

No, you're not.

Whoa. Hey.

Right, you're just gonna walk into the Boss' office without an appointment.

That's the kind of attitude that's gonna keep you in a cubicle, mister.

I don't care.

Kermit deserves justice.

He's going for it.

No, he's not. He's gonna do it.

He's gonna do it. No way.

I bet he's gonna do it.

Troublemaker.

What's next, we're all gonna wear color?

Wait.

He's not gonna. Nope. Nope.

No, it's called fronting off. The young folks told me about this.

He did it.

Career suicide.

Who dare disturb my peace?

Don't you just love the big voice? It's so scary.

Hey!

What, too big?

No.

A Jurassic butterfly.

Whoa, that's cool.

You can really see the beauty of the compound bug eye.

I think it's too big.

Danny from Accounting, right?

Uh, yeah.

Daniel. Daniel.

Danny-L.

Well, Danny-L, do we have an appointment?

No.

But this is an emergency. It's about Kermit the Frog.

Listen, I don't worry about him.

He always does the right thing.

Yeah, well, I'm afraid that if you don't help him,

he may never do the right thing again.

What?

Can you please just take a look at his case, Your Honor?

Your Excellency?

Your Bossiness.

I really can't, I have this appointment with the archangels.

You know, we're talking about Armageddon,

we're trying to get Streisand for the post-party.

You don't know how much this means to me.

I will never ask for anything again.

All right, look. If you can convince me that Kermit needs my help,

I'll send my best agent.

Oh, thank you so much.

But if you can't convince me that Kermit needs my help,

you'll have to transfer all of my albums to MP3 files.

Well, you have like every album ever recorded. Ever.

Yeah, plus imports. So, you better be right about Kermit.

Have a seat. What channel?

8-5-7-3-2-9-6 and then press pound.

Well, which one is pound, is that the tic-tac-toe thing

or the squiggly bug thing?

Tic-tac-toe.

Oh! You do it.

Oh.

Okay.

Uh... I should probably rewind it a little.

Yeah.

You know? And that's why I have this funny collar!

That's a great story, Kermit. Thanks.

You're funny. Aw.

Listen, Kermit, I wanna talk about

your big holiday show that's coming up.

Tell everybody about that.

Yeah, well, listen, I'd be happy to.