LA to Vegas

- Did I miss him? - Yes.

That's why we're all standing here like fools,

- because he's already arrived. - Ooh. Someone's on edge.

You back on those Norwegian diet pills?

We're all on edge, Ronnie. We're about to meet the owner

of Jackpot Airlines; he's an actual billionaire.

I've never met a billionaire. Or a millionaire.

I used to love being around rich people.

But now they're all just nerds, riding fold-up bicycles.

It's crazy. This guy can change our lives

or destroy us with the snap of his fingers.

Oh, no, no. Jack Silver isn't like that.

He's not your standard, snobby rich guy.

He's self-made, chill, and totally down-to-earth.

He's a recovering addict. He's done all 36 steps.

- 12. - He's done them three times.

I am not Jack Silver.

I am Jack Silver.

Greetings, my Jackpot family!

See? He's totally down-to-earth.

What was that?

He's totally down-to-earth!

Jackpot Airlines.

Northeast-bound to Las Vegas.

Hi. Jack Silver. Nice to meet you.

Jack Silver.

Captain Dave. I'll be your pilot.

It's my honor to be the man who gets to please you today.

Let me tell you something, Dave. Can I call you Dave?

Of course I can. I own the airline.

I could call you Tessa if I wanted to.

Make you wear a baby bonnet, put a pacifier in your mouth

and fly the plane that way, but I'm not gonna do that.

- Thank you. - You see, Tessa,

between us boys, today's flight is kind of a P.R. move.

Show that I'm a man of the people.

You know, I've been suffering a little bad press lately.

Turns out one of my companies manufactures allergy pens

in converted peanut factories.

Man, that got people really mad.

And sick, I guess.

When I was a kid, there weren't allergies,

just swollen days and un-swollen days.

I got a good feeling about you, kid.

Mr. Silver. Hi.

We just wanted to introduce ourselves.

- We're your flight crew today. - Oh.

You guys are the heart and soul of the airline.

That's why I look in-house

when I hire crew for my private plane, Jack Force One.

It's a heck of an opportunity.

World travel, exotic locales,

real expensive, and real funky cheese.

Play your cards right, who knows,

one of you could be next.

At the risk of sounding profoundly British,

- what's all this, then? - Oh.

Jack Silver, who runs Jackpot Airlines,

is gonna be on our flight today.

- Artem's not happy. - Yeah, when I heard

there's gonna be a celebrity on our flight,

I put a bet on Michael Jackson.

- Um, he's dead. - Yeah, I know that now.

Oh, I'm on a cold streak.

There's no such thing as cold streaks.

You're more likely making poor bets.

You have to select wagers that are pragmatic

and mathematically advantageous.

That is why... not to brag... I've yet to lose a wager.

You think you're so smart because you've never lost a bet?

I think Artem and I can come up with a bet you'll lose.

Okay, well, good luck.

You know, I welcome the challenge.

Also, did you really not know that Michael Jackson was dead?

Ah, my Internet was out for most of 2009.

But it's working now.

- What are you doing? - Nothing.

Don't lie to me. You reek of citrus and deceit.

Fine. I'm trying to impress Jack, okay?

I read on his Wikipedia that his favorite drink

is rainwater and lime.

Oh, Ronnie. Much like chunky jewelry,

desperation is a bad look on you.

Really? Okay, well, what's in your bag?

Well, well, well.

If it isn't the pot

calling the kettle bla... frican-American.

Let's just admit it, we both want that job.

You get to travel the world; I can finally go to Morocco

and deal with my rug trader in person.

I know Umer's scamming me.

Bernard, you don't want to get into a competition with me.

You know I do all the dirty work around here.

If Cher held your hand

during her Heart of Stone world tour,

you wouldn't use it to touch filthy duffel bags, either.

Oh. Let's just ask Nichole.

Nichole, who's the better flight attendant,

- me or Bernard? - Come on, guys.

You're putting me in really difficult... Bernard.

- Are you serious? - Bernard just makes it look so effortless.

You're always running around all pissed and stressed

and pit stain-y.

Yeah. That's because I'm the one actually doing stuff.

You know, I can't believe you.

We almost went to the Women's March together.

- You're the one that overslept. - Yeah, I said almost.

Captain Dave here.

You know when you're on a roll at the tables

and you don't want to go to sleep and your dealer's MIA?

get a B12 shot

from Dr. Legit on level three of the Bellagio parking structure.

Cash only.

What are you doing so close to a piece of meat

- you can't afford? - Oh, it's Jack's lunch.

He personally asked me to prepare it for him.

So it looks like all my hard work is finally gonna pay off,

and I'll be the one traveling the world,

jet-setting from Bangkok to...

It should not take you that long

to think of a second foreign city.

Also, you're doing that wrong. You forgot the sauce.

- There was sauce? - I love you, but this is my destiny.

No! Hey! Give that back!

It's okay. Five-second rule.

It's not okay. I've thrown away shoes

that have touched this carpet. Just make another one.

There isn't another one.

Jack's personal chef prepared it for him.

He has a very sensitive stomach.

- What do we do? - Okay, here.

Just, um...

There. Wipe it off.

All right, there we go. See?

Good as new. It's like it never happened.

Oh.

- Mm. - Thank you.

You see? All good. Crisis averted.

- Crisis enlarged. - Oh... that's bad.

This is officially the first time

I've ever hated being on camera.

You boys mind if I fly the friendlies with you for a while?

Mind? We'd be honored.

- Alan, get your ass up. - Yes, sir!

Have a seat, Mr. Silver.

Thank you.

This takes me back to my old flying days.

I still use a lot of lessons from back then, like:

Wherever you go, always carry a gun and a parachute.

And don't buy either from an Irish.

You're a fountain of knowledge I can't stop drinking from.

Well, you see, Dave, the secret to business,

and life, is to underthink it, buddy.

- Mm. - I talk about it all in my book,

Underthink It, Buddy.

I loved that one. It was so brave

to release a book with so many spelling errors.

What about you, Dave?

You got any big swings left in those arms?

- What's your dream? - I'm living my dream.

I'm a pilot.

If you're doing it awake, it can't be your dream.

Come on, what is it?

I... I don't know.

Let me underthink it for you.

Your dream is to open a bar.

You look like a guy that can sling drinks.

Oh, wow.

I never knew it until this moment,

but you're absolutely right. I can see it now.

I'm pouring drinks, there's a band playing.

My accountant comes in and says, "Captain Dave",

you've run out of funds. We have to close the bar."

But I say, "Wait, this is just the beginning of my dream."

I never got to serve my signature drink: beer."

Jackpot 1610, we got a call in

for Jack Silver from someone named Tito.

Oh. It's my attorney.

Hey, Tito.

W-What's that now? Oh.

Gonna be a ton of media waiting for me in Vegas.

Okay, FBI is gonna be there, too.

It's the allergy pen thing.

I'm being indicted.

Ooh, indicted? Like into the Hall of Fame?

No, that's inducted, stupid.

Indicted means he's probably gonna be arrested.

Oh, you should meet my dad. He's a lawyer.

Oh, but he's in jail. Oh, but you could meet my dad.

Hey, buddy.

I was just coming over to see if you need anything.

Pretzels? Soda?

Are you gonna rub them all over the floor first?

Oh, my God. You saw that?

Cool, cool, cool.

Uh, just wondering, when you had your phone up earlier,

- were you taping it? - Obvi.

That's short for "obviously."

Yeah, I know what it's short for.

Once we land, and I get Wi-Fi,