Medium

Thank you.

Good afternoon.

You know, I've got some important news for you.

No one is born rich.

No one.

Everyone is born naked and penniless.

So how do you get rich?

How do you stay rich?

How do you get even richer?

That's why we're here.

That's what we want to know, right?

Me? My theory?

It all boils down to six words:

What are you willing to do?

Can you stand up for me, please?

How much do you make a year, ma'am?

I'd rather not say.

I'll give you $100 to say.

Two hundred.

Uh, I make about $37,500 a year.

$37,700 now.

Liking this, right?

Money's good.

Money is good.

Are you wearing clean underwear?

Pardon me?

Are you wearing clean underwear?

It's just a question.

And I will give you $100 to tell me.

Sure.

I'm wearing clean underwear.

Take off all of your clothes,

right here, right now,

in front of everybody,

and I will double your annual income.

Bring you up to a cool $75,000.

What do you say?

No, no,

I can't do that.

No, no, no, no.

Is that your husband?

Yes.

Couldn't he use the money, too?

It doesn't matter, I...

I'm not gonna do it.

Besides, he doesn't want me to do it, either.

Me! I'll do it!

Pick me!

I didn't ask you!

It's easy for you.

I'm asking her.

You know, it's 3:15 in the afternoon.

By 3:16, you could have doubled your annual income.

You could have twice as much money as you have right now.

You could pay off your bills.

You could buy yourself something nice.

All you have to do is...

But I can't. Um...

Thank you, anyway.

Okay, I will triple your annual salary.

Bring you up to $112,500.

That's six figures.

That's really nice.

Just take off your clothes.

But I can't.

Why don't you ask one of them?

'Cause I'm asking you.

Okay, I'll triple your annual salary,

not just this year,

but for the rest of your life.

Let's say you live over 30 years.

That's over two million dollars.

You'd be rich.

You'd be a millionaire.

What do you say?

I can't.

You can't or you won't?

I won't do it.

Is that your final answer?

Yes, yes,

that's my final answer.

Remember these six words, folks:

What are you willing to do?

What about you, sir?

Excuse me?

Well, sure, I'd take off my clothes for a couple million.

No, the question is:

Will you take hers off?

If she lives 30 years,

that's over $2,250,000.

You'd be a millionaire.

You'd be rich.

What are you willing to do?

What are you willing to do?

I want to go.

I want to leave!

Shut up!

What are you willing to do?

Get off of me!

A hundred dollars for anybody to help me!

Get off of me!

What do you think about this?

Nice.

I don't want nice.

It's jury duty.

I want something that says "You can't trust this man."

What do you think?

Bowling or pineapples?

I have no idea.

Come on!

This is your area.

Help me out here,

give me a little guidance-- pick one.

I'll give you a hundred bucks.

Go naked.

The kids are up.

I heard noises.

Decided to go with clothes after all, huh?

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Help me!

What is going on?

She's gonna murder me!

There you are!

No screaming.

It's 6:30 in the morning.

You're gonna wake the baby.

That's my shirt,

that's my sweater,

that's my hair band.

I put them out last night and she woke up first and she took them.

Tell her she has to take them off!

Bridgette...

Take... them... off!

But she took out 15 different things!

Three. I was choosing.

And I choose that!

Okay, no snatching.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hold on a second.

Everybody back up.

Bridgette, you're wearing your sister's clothes.

Did you ask before you put them on?

Huh?

No, she didn't.

Why are you smiling?

Did you ask?

Okay, Ariel-- do you think,

if she asks nicely,

could you possibly wear one of the other two outfits

that were contenders for today?

I don't know.

Why should I?

Please?

I guess.

Okay.

Thank you, Ariel.

Whatever.

It doesn't look good on you, anyway.

See?

Another crisis averted.

Joe Dubois--

our juries need citizens like you.

Don't even say that.

Someone might hear.

Take that back.

I will not.

I am proud that you're summoned for jury duty.

What's jury duty?

It's a gigantic waste of Daddy's time, that's what it is.

It's one of the things that makes our justice system great.

When people get in trouble,

they get to be judged by people just like them.

It's called a jury.

And it's every citizen's obligation to be on one.

And it's an honor to be asked.

Mommy's right.

It is an honor.

It's just a really inconvenient honor because Daddy has, like,

three million things that he has to do at work,

and I really can't afford the day.

You'll be lucky if it's a day.

It'll be a lot longer,

if you get picked.

Don't worry, I'm not going to get picked.

You got a lot of faith in that shirt.

It's not the shirt I'm counting on, darling; it's you.

Me? What about me?

You. You work for the DA.

Think about it.

What defense attorney is going to want the spouse of somebody who works for

the DA sitting up there judging his or her client?

You, darling,

are my "Get Out of Jail Free" card.

Mr. District Attorney...

do you have a moment?

Take your time, counselor.

We're both going to the same place.

They can't start without us.

Well, how about we don't start at all.

I've made six plea offers.