Futurama

Good news, everyone.

Remember when you asked to see my family tree?

No.

Ta-da!

This is my ancestor

Philo Farnsworth, inventor of television,

and as a bonus, childhood obesity.

And here's Dean Farnsworth,

developer of the Farnsworth test for colorblindness.

Where is he, blasted?!

And just recently, I learned of a modern-day Farnsworth

who invented the anti-senility truss.

That's you, Professor.

Ah, yes, the Farnsworths boast

a proud and distinguished lineage.

No wormy fruit on this tree.

What about fry?

Isn't he your distant Uncle?

Very distant.

Not a true Farnsworth, mind you.

He's way over here on this filthy branch

riddled with fungus and dung beetles.

What's with the 17 dung beetles?

Well, it's 6:00.

I guess we'll have to deliver that human heart tomorrow.

Good work, people.

Time to go clubbing!

Baby seals, here I come.

Guess I better head over to my night job.

You have a night job?

Yup. It's exhausting,

but I need the extra money to buy coffee

so I can stay awake for my night job.

- But... - Got to go!

You've got a surprising amount of algae

in your beard, Mr. President.

Just sit still and let the algae-eater do its work.

Oh! Ow!

Oh! Lay off my trademark mole!

Hi, Lars.

Fry. Whatever.

I'm heading out to my night job.

Remember, no loud noise, no head bowling,

and no parties, or it'll be your ass in a jar.

I want to go to that museum!

Man, this place is a snooze.

Hey, fry,

I challenge president taft here to a pie-eating contest.

You're on, skinny.

Sorry, guys. You know the rules.

No fun allowed.

Come on, you pansy! I'm thirsty!

I want me some Tennessee loopy juice!

And I want loose women!

The kind that aren't afraid to show a little ankle.

Or elbow.

No visitors. I'll lose my job.

Oh, boo-hoo, I'll lose my minimum wage job.

You're mean, rutherford b. Hayes!

Listen here, young man.

We have nothing to fear

but running out of beer.

Oh!

All right, one small get-together,

but let's keep it quiet and dignified.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ooh-wee!

Four more beers!

Four more beers!

Yes!

Right in the ike!

Nice elbow action.

So, you grow hemp.

Yes. And, uh, you do what with it?

All manner of things.

Manufacture paper, fabric, rope...

Oh. Well, nice talking to you.

Why, I used to smoke about four feet of rope a day.

Let me give you my pager number.

Hey, Reagan, remember when you asked to see my family tree?

I asked you to leave me alone.

The Farnsworths are a remarkable...

Farnsworth?! That name is a stain on American history.

One of the worst traitors of the revolution was a Farnsworth.

- You're lying! - He's George Washington.

He tends not to do that.

David Farnsworth was a notorious British agent and counterfeiter.

He conspired to bring down our nation

with his fraudulent currency!

A Farnsworth did this?

Oh, dear! My good name is ruined!

Hi. I'm Jerry.

I like movies.

Anyone seen ulysses grant?

He owes me a cheroot.

He's over there, puking in the bushes.

No!

Oh, boy.

Mr. Fry!

Why are all these people standing around...

When they should be partying?

Hey, hey, lbj, you want to get drunk?

Oh, hell, yeah.

Zoidberg, no!

The effects of jar juice

aren't fully understood.

Eh, not bad. A hint of vitalis and...

Whoa!

I recognize this.

It's the 1960s!

I did a report on it for my drug-taking class.

Hi, I'm Andy warhol,

and you're some kind of marvelous lobster-man.

Right on.

Say, you got any real soup, or just this schlock?

What a horrid bore.

Ooh. Huh?

Far out.

That head gave me a total head trip!

Really? I'm gonna lick Herbert Hoover's head.

Lick the head!

Lick the head!

Whoa, a speakeasy!

One prohibited beverage, please.

Hey, Dutch, the new still is here!

I'm not a still. I just smell like one.

Dutch Schultz, come out with your bootleg whiskey.

We're thirsty!

What the heck is going on?

Jefferson, did you sell me some bad rope?

It must have something to do with the jar fluid.

Aha!

Dr. Cahill, do I detect a trace of opalescence?

Very observant, Professor.

To preserve the heads, we use a rare form

of powdered crystalline opal.

This is the world's entire supply.

Yet it's so powerful, it should last a thousand years.

It keeps the heads alive, but we don't know how.

Why did it give us those hallucinations?

Because it didn't!

Uh, yeah-huh.

Opal has unusual temporal properties.

It preserves each head in a time stasis bubble.

Ergo, licking those heads actually sent us back in time

to their original eras. Look!

Ugh!

Schlock and more schlock.

Psst. Is the coast clear?

Button your yap, you mug.

I've discovered a new means of time travel.

I'll call it the Farnsworth effect!

Nice try,

but even this discovery won't undo the treachery wrought

by your nefarious ancestor David Farnsworth.

It will if we go back in time and stop him!

Oh!

Professor, no! You can't tongue the father of our country!

Where are we?

Also, when are we?

68th and Broadway, colonial era.

Rush hour.

By my calculations,

this head trip will last at most 24 hours.

We need to stop that monster David Farnsworth!

Look at the date on this newspaper.

April 17, 1775.

Say, on this exact date,

the continental congress was meeting secretly in New York.

Maybe they can help us.

But they could be meeting anywhere.

What are we going to do, search building to building?

We'll start with that one.

Alexander Hamilton of New York, how say you?

Nay!

John hancock

and John Adams of Massachusetts?

Yea! Yea!

The yeas have it.

Our nation's official joke state shall be new Jersey.

Uh-oh.

Ah, 'tis just our new crock pot.

Watch it, wiggy.

I ain't no stinking crock.

We'll see about that in five hours.

Halt! From whence comest thou, one-eyed maiden?

Uh... ever been to Peru?

Certainly not.

I'm from Peru.

Clam up, founding fathers.

We need help locating the treacherous forger

who forged this forgery.

My word.

If these enter circulation,

our economy will be destroyed,

and with it, our chance at independence.

Only one man in the colonies

has a printing press fine enough to make these.

Our good friend Ben Franklin!

Uh-oh. Isn't Franklin in Philadelphia?