Bleeding Heart

FOUR DAYS AGO,

ON THE OUTSIDE, MY LIFE SEEMED PERFECT.

PERFECT BOYFRIEND, PERFECT JOB,

PERFECT PEACE.

BUT SOMETHING WAS ALWAYS MISSING.

THAT'S WHY I NEEDED TO FIND YOU.

TO FIND ME.

"AHIMSA,"

WHICH MEANS NON-VIOLENCE,

IS THE FOUNDATION OF OUR PRACTICE.

WE HAVE THE ABILITY,

EVERY DAY,

TO CHOOSE PEACE.

WITHIN EVERY POSTURE,

EVERY BREATH,

AND EVERY MOMENT OF OUR LIVES.

THAT IS A NICE CAR.

WHAT IS THAT? '65? '66?

'65.

THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM LIKE THAT ANYMORE.

I KNOW IT'S EXPENSIVE, BUT I REALLY THINK

IT'S WORTH ADVERTISING IN THE YOGA JOURNAL.

-OKAY. -WE COULD MENTION THAT WE'RE DONATING TO THAT ORPHANAGE.

YEAH.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PICTURES OF YOU WITH THE KIDS THERE?

-YEAH, I THINK I DO. -THAT'S GREAT.

AND I'M STILL WAITING ON YOUR BIO.

I KNOW, I'M WORKING ON IT.

JUST KEEP IT SIMPLE-- YOU'RE AN INSPIRING WOMAN.

-I GUESS. -YOU INSPIRE ME.

HEY, HONEY, DID YOU TAKE

YOUR OLD CAR OUT TODAY?

-YEAH, WHY? -WELL, YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA TAKE YOUR BIKE.

I JUST-- JUST RAN A COUPLE OF ERRANDS.

YEAH, WELL I WISH YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME,

I WOULD HAVE COME BACK EARLY.

YOU KNOW, I, UM-- I HEARD FROM KATHY TODAY.

THE-- YOU KNOW THE PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR?

AND?

AND, SHE HAS AN ADDRESS FOR SUSAN,

AND IT'S 30 MINUTES AWAY.

-WOW. -YEAH.

I THINK I REALLY WANT TO MEET HER.

I THINK THAT'S GREAT.

I THINK THAT'S GONNA BE REALLY GOOD FOR YOU.

YEAH, I THINK I'M GONNA TAKE A FEW HOURS TOMORROW,

-AND JUST DRIVE DOWN THERE-- -TOMORROW?

YEAH.

WELL, WE JUST-- WE'VE GOT SO MUCH TO DO.

THIS IS GONNA BE VERY EMOTIONAL FOR YOU.

YEAH. YEAH, YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.

I SHOULD JUST DO IT SOME OTHER TIME.

YEAH?

HI.

ARE YOU SUSAN ADAMS?

YEAH.

I'M MAY MILLER.

SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

THIS IS GONNA SOUND STRANGE,

BUT I THINK YOU'RE MY SISTER,

FROM MY BIOLOGICAL MOTHER,

HER NAME WAS JENNIFER ADAMS. ARE YOU--

- WHO IS IT? -NOBODY, BABY.

YEAH, THERE'S A BAR AROUND THE CORNER,

I'LL MEET YOU THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.

WANT A DRINK?

YEAH, I'LL GET IT.

UM, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?

I'LL HAVE A VODKA CRANBERRY.

IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE FANCY VODKA,

HOUSE IS FINE.

OKAY.

UM, I--

I BROUGHT YOU THESE. THEY ARE THESE A-- AMAZING RAW COOKIES,

WITH, UH-- MACADAMIA, CHIA SEEDS.

THANKS.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AT THAT.

I'LL GET OUR DRINKS.

YOU ARE SUSAN, RIGHT?

YEAH, BUT CALL ME SHIVA, EVEN MOM DID.

OKAY.

-UM, SO-- -SO, WHAT--

SORRY, UH, YOU--

-YOU, UH-- GO FIRST. -NO, YOU GO.

THIS IS FUCKIN' CRAZY.

YEAH.

I GUESS SHE NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT ME.

NO, NEVER.

THANKS.

-SORRY. -THANKS.

YEP.

YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HER.

IT'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR, UM--

WELL, I WOULDN'T KNOW

'CAUSE I'VE-- I'VE NEVER SEEN HER.

HERE.

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN SHE DIED?

12.

GOD, THAT MUST HAVE BEEN HARD.

-YEAH. -DID YOU LIVE WITH YOUR DAD AFTER THAT?

FOSTER HOMES.

DIDN'T YOU HAVE ANY OTHER FAMILY?

YEAH, MY MOM'S PARENTS, BUT THEY DIDN'T WANT ME.

WHAT YEAR WERE YOU BORN?

'81.

FUCK, SHE WAS LIKE 17 WHEN SHE HAD YOU.

DO YOU THINK IT'S--

DO YOU THINK IT'S POSSIBLE

THAT WE HAVE THE SAME DAD?

I DOUBT IT.

I MEAN, I NEVER MET MY DAD, SO--

BUT, I DON'T KNOW, LIKE TEN YEARS APART?

-IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKELY. -HMM.

-SO, WHAT DO YOU DO? -WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU KNOW, FOR A LIVING.

OH, UH--

I TRY TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY.

I GUESS I KIND OF DO THAT TOO.

-HOW? -I TEACH YOGA.

HUH.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

UH, MASSAGE.

OH.

HERE, GIVE ME YOUR HAND.

OH, LOOK AT THAT.

-WHAT? -YOUR LIFELINE.

IT LIKE TOTALLY STOPS AND THEN IT STARTS AGAIN.

IT'S LIKE YOU HAVE TWO LIVES.

OKAY, YOU HURT YOURSELF

DOING YOGA.

ISN'T IT SUPPOSED TO BE, LIKE, HEALING AND SHIT?

WELL, YEAH, I MEAN, THAT'S--

THAT'S ABSOLUTELY THE INTENTION,

BUT YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE OUTCOME.

SOMETIMES,

YOU-- YOU NEED AN INJURY TO GROW.

YOU NEED IT TO,

YOU KNOW, EVOLVE.

THAT'S FUCKED UP.

WELL, THIS IS ME.

WHAT?

HOLY SHIT, THIS IS YOUR RIDE?

YEAH, YOU LIKE IT?

HOLY SHIT, YEAH.

MY BOYFRIEND WANTS ME TO SELL IT

FOR A SMART CAR, OR SOMETHING.

OH MY GOD, FUCK THAT.

OVER MY DEAD BODY YOU CAN SELL THIS

FOR A FUCKING SMART CAR.

OH MY GOD, I WOULD KILL FOR A CAR LIKE THIS.

WELL, YOU WANT TO BUY IT?

OH, YEAH-- JUST LET ME GET THE BAG OF CASH

THAT'S WAITING IN MY LIVING ROOM.

OH, NOW, I'LL GIVE YOU THE FAMILY DISCOUNT.

UM, HERE, UH,

TAKE IT, I GOT-- I GOT OTHERS.

THANKS.

UM, I GOTTA GO.

OKAY, SO, UM, CAN-- CAN WE SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN?

YEAH, YEAH, UM...

YEAH, I'LL CALL "YOGA WITH MAY."

YEAH, WE WILL, UH, WE'LL DO SOME YOGA.

YEAH, SO MY KNEE CAN GET FUCKED UP, TOO.

- BYE. -BYE.

-HEY. -HEY. WHERE YOU BEEN?

OH, YOU PICKED UP THE POSTCARDS.

YEAH, THEY LOOK GREAT.

YEAH, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU ALL MORNING.

-SO, WHERE WERE YOU? -HMM?

OH, UM...

I WAS JUST OUT.

WHO IS IT?

-I MET HER. -WHO?

I MET SUSAN.

SO, HOW WAS IT?

IT WAS GREAT.

IT WAS REALLY GREAT.

I MEAN, SHE'S SO DIFFERENT FROM ME.

SHE'S SO DIFFERENT.

BUT THERE WAS JUST THIS, I DON'T KNOW, THIS--

THIS DEEP CONNECTION THAT I DIDN'T EXPECT.

THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

I'D LOVE TO MEET HER.

WELL, HER BOYFRIEND WANTS TO MEET ME, TOO,

AND THEY ARE GOING OUT TONIGHT,

AND THEY INVITED US TO COME.

WELL, NOT TONIGHT.

WE HAVE PLANS, REMEMBER?

ALL THE BULLSHIT I DO FOR YOU?

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE ALL I'VE FUCKING DONE.

- HI. -HEY.

SO, UH-- SO THIS IS MAY, RIGHT?

OH THIS IS MY-- MY BOYFRIEND, CODY.

WELL, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.

YEAH, LIKEWISE.

YOU KNOW I CAN, UH-- I CAN SEE THE FAMILY RESEMBLANCE.

MUST BE LIKE LOOKING IN A MIRROR WITH YOU TWO.

HEY, WAIT, LET ME, UH-- LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK.

-WHAT DO YOU WANT? -OH, UM, WELL I'M--