Cry Baby (Cry-Baby)

Hi, kids.

Remember, always look both ways before crossing.

Mother!

We're having your favorite supper tonight, Wanda.

Potatoes au gratin.

Mmm.

Now walk.

Look left, look right.

That's right, then walk. Good teenagers.

Are you gonna work this summer?

Wanda, honey. You want a ride home with Dad?

I got a lift. Thanks, anyway.

We could count out-of-state license plates.

I saw one this morning all the way up from Virginia.

-Dad, would you just leave me alone? -Bye, honey.

I am so tired of being good.

Hi.

Well.

You're a pretty little Square.

Want to hang out with us Drapes tonight?

Allison Vernon-Williams, get in this car.

What's the trouble, honey? These hoodlums bothering you?

No, we were just talking.

Grandmother, Baldwin, this is Wade Walker.

They call me Cry-Baby. This here is my sister, Pepper.

Greetings, Granny-o.

Allison's my girl, so hands off, Cry-Baby.

You could have fooled me, Square.

Mrs. Vernon-Williams, I hear you're having a talent show at your charm school.

I can barely imagine what you would call music.

I can sing pretty good.

"Well," not "good." Haven't you ever heard of the English language?

-Don't go flip out, mama. -Yeah.

Sometimes shook-up old ladies

- get cut. - Come on, honey.

They're just bums.

Mr. Puniverse wants a fat lip.

I'd like to hear you sing.

I will say this once and once only.

Stay away from my granddaughter, you common juvenile delinquents.

It was nice talking to you all.

Let's go.

The prettiest and most talented girl in school

and yet she socializes with Drapes.

We're Squares, Allison, and Squares got to stick together.

Yeah, but Drapes are people, too. They just look different.

Maybe Cry-Baby can sing.

Something cool, something hep.

And where did you learn those vulgar jazz words?

Your poor dead parents would turn over in their graves.

It's those jukebox records she listens to.

Honey,

his kind of music isn't even on the Hit Parade.

How can I think when you're always touching me?

I have told you, Baldwin, a young lady does not like to be pawed.

Well, women and Cadillacs go hand in hand

The woman want a Cadillac she don't want no man

I used to have a woman said she loved me so

I used to have a woman said she loved me so

I think Cry-Baby's got a girlfriend.

Cry-Baby and Allison sitting in a tree,

-K-I-S-S-I-N-G. -Shut up, Milton.

Hey, Hatchet-Face, you think Cry-Baby's got blue balls for the chick?

Allison's a Square, Wanda. Cry-Baby don't dig Squares.

No, she's a "Scrape." Part Square, part Drape.

I think she's pretty.

-Cry-Baby, want some hooch? -I don't drink and drive.

You're too young to know the shameful truth about the Walker boy's family.

But let me warn you, evil is in his blood.

Love that girl

Oh, please, listen to me

-Move up, now. -That's not funny.

Why I love that girl

Love that girl

Hold me, baby, squeeze me

Never let me go

I'm not taking chances

You're a dead man, Walker.

Oh, gee

Yes, I love her

Car! Car!

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen

and welcome to the annual RSVP Talent Show.

Good afternoon, Mrs. Vernon-Williams.

First, I must apologize for my frazzled nerves.

However, this afternoon we were attacked

by a gang of juvenile delinquents.

It's all right. No one was injured.

Juvenile delinquents are everywhere.

Right here in this community.

Boys with long hair and tattoos,

who spit on the sidewalk.

- Can't believe it. - How disgusting.

Girls who wear tight slacks.

Hysterectomy pants, I call them.

And if one of these creatures ever approach you on the street,

you are to silently repeat to yourself

the four "B's" you learned here at RSVP.

And what are they, children, the four "B's"?

Beauty, brains,

breeding, bounty!

Yes!

Teenagers everywhere, repent!

Let Jesus Christ be your gang leader!

Get out of Turkey Point before it's too late.

Thank you very much for the picture, sweetheart. Oh, yeah.

All right, who's up next here?

Toe-Joe Jackson's art photography right here!

Be a nudie-cutie, make good money to bootie.

I'm paying $3 a shot.

What the hell, you got it, why not show it, right?

Hey, you.

Yeah, you, the looker with the class-A sealed-beam headlights.

-You want to pose for Toe-Joe? -Beat it, creep.

Here he comes now, with that devil woman.

-Hi, Mrs. Hackett. -Imagine our shame.

Our only child, and he carries illegal weapons,

drives fast cars

and wears clothes obviously designed by homosexuals.

But he knows better. Jesus is still in his heart.

Mom and Dad, go home. You're embarrassing me.

I'm a teenager. I want to live.

-Looks like somebody lost their laundry. -Hello, Cry-Baby.

-You scorch me, man. -Later, Lenora.

But, Cry-Baby, I need a date for tonight's Jukebox Jamboree.

I'm solo, sugar.

Want to see these gunboats? I give, Cry-Baby.

-I give bare second on the first date. -Use your mentality and cool down.

Lenora, your bosoms ain't nothing.

Better watch it, bozo. You might catch a cold.

My brother wouldn't touch your titties with a 10-foot pole.

He likes his women bad, Lenora, not cheap.

Life could be a dream

If I could take you up in paradise up above

If you would tell me I'm the only one that you love

Life could be a dream, sweetheart

Hello, hello again Sh boom I'm hoping we'll meet again

Oh, life could be a dream

If only all my precious plans would come true

If you would let me spend my whole life loving you

Life could be a dream, sweetheart

Sh boom sh boom

Sh boom sh boom

Sh boom sh boom

Sh boom

Now, every time I look at you

Something is on my mind

If you'd do what I want you to

Baby, we'd be so fine

Oh, life could be a dream

If I could take you up in paradise up above

If you would tell me I'm the only one that you love

Life could be a dream, sweetheart

Hello, hello again Sh boom I'm hoping we'll meet again

Sh boom sh boom

Life could be a dream, sweetheart

Uncle Belvedere!

You caught me in my birthday suit, butt-naked.

Grandma, we're home!

-How much? -That muffler?

Dupree, for you,

-$15, take it or leave it. -Come on, Ramona.

$10. This thing's hotter than a pistol.

You guys wanna do business with Ramona Rickettes or would you rather shop at Sears?

Now, give me the bread and keep your trap shut.

-You're a hard woman. -I'm going to see you in hell, Dupree.

Go on, get out of here.

Have you been bothering your great-grandma all day? She has customers.

-Hell, no. They helped me steal a car. -It's a '51 Olds.

-It's really cool. -That's my little Snare-Drum.

-And Ma, I swiped six hubcaps like a big girl. -Way to go, Susie-Q.

Make those monster faces, Hatchet. Please.

Goddamn gopher's digging up my front yard.

What are you teenagers waiting for?

Turkey Point is open for business! Let's celebrate! Yee-haw!

Come on, everybody. Come on in.

Today's a special day for me and your grandmother.

We've been together 10 whole years.

I'm just so proud of all my Drape children.

Oh, Wanda, you sure is pretty in them tight clothes,

all painted up like trash.

I wish you and Belvedere were my parents.

Now, Milton,

boy, you are everything a man should be.

You're young, stupid, and mean.

We're gonna play some cool music for you tonight, Ramona.

And, Hatchet-Face. Oh, honey.

You're just like me.

Now, you put the "T" in "tough."

So hard, you could've been eating nails for breakfast.

But that's the way a woman's got to be these days.

I'd kick a Square's ass for you in a minute, Mrs. Rickettes.

Aw! This is the best gang my grandson could ever have.

Grandma, I'm so happy all knocked up,

I wish I was having triplets.

We got a little surprise for your young'un in your oven.

-You show her, Bel. -Sure will.

Pep, ain't that cute?

It's beautiful, Grandma.

Cry-Baby.