A Holiday to Remember

-Okay. See you later. -Yeah, right.

-Okay. Let's go, boys.

Here we go, guys.

Merry Christmas!

Oh!

-Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho! -Merry Christmas!

-Oh, merry Christmas, folks. Have a happy holiday.

-Hi, Santa. -Ho, ho!

Look at these young men her. Are you being good boys?

I'll see you Christmas Eve. Bye-bye.

Ho, ho, ho, ho. -Bye.

-High five for you, my man. Hey, hey.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

That guy, he has some nerve...

-Ho, ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas.

What do you want from Santa this year, young man?

-Tell Santa what you want. -Hmm?

-Bike! -A bike?

Oh, you be good, and we'll hope you get it.

Okay? Ho, ho, ho, ho.

And what do you want for Christmas, young lady?

A divorce.

Oh.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

Jordy?

Jordy?

Jordy!

-You don't have to yell. I can hear you.

-I got an extra suitcase. -Whoopie.

Are you all packed?

For what it's worth.

-Try to show a little more enthusiasm, will you?

-Mother, they don't even have a mall in Mayberry.

-Mayville, and I didn't say there wasn'tany mall there.

I said there's a possibility there wasn't any.

Don't you realize

how frightening that is to a teenager?

-There's lots of other interesting things to do

in Mayville, Jordy.

Well, at least I'll have cable.

Cable?

They don't have cable?

I'm not sure.

-We're moving to a place where there's no mall and no cable?

Who is it?

It's your favorite lawyer.

-Hi. -Merry Christmas.

You're officially divorced.

-I guess Santa took me seriously.

-Carolyn, are you sure you're doing the right thing here?

I mean, isn't this a little extreme,

moving 3,000 miles away from your practice,

leaving the people you depend onfor support,

taking your kid away from all her friends?

-Jordy's friends are all criminals,

and I need to get away from here.

Can't stand the thought

of everybody I know feeling sorry for me.

I want to put this whole divorcething behind me, start over.

I'm gonna give it a try.

If it doesn't work, we'll come back.

-It just sounds to me like you're running away

from the people you need the most.

You're running away from your problems.

-Mnh-mnh. I'm running away from everybody else's.

-But what are you going to do at night in...

What do you call it? -Mayville.

And there's plenty to do.

The house I inherited from my grandmother

has been closed up since she died.

I'm sure it's gonna need a little work.

-Who are you gonna talk to? Are there any men there?

None under the age of 80.

It's perfect.

Gonna write my book, get to know my kid again.

Jordy's never even seen the place.

It'll be good to get back there.

-You mean you're really going back to Mayberry

because you like it?

-Mayville. Mayville.

Yes. I do.

It's beautiful there and quiet.

Life is simple. Everybody knows everybody.

Everything there has meaning.

-If you weren't the best psychologist in L.A.,

I'd recommend that you go to yourself for therapy.

Why don't you come visit us and see for yourself?

I'm afraid of snakes.

Aren't there snakes in South Carolina?

Nothing like L.A.

Goodbye, palm trees.

Goodbye, ocean.

Goodbye, traffic.

Goodbye, smog.

Goodbye, earthquakes.

I'm getting carsick.

Open a window.

-I can't. It's too windy.

- Jordy, you are projecting your fears

onto my driving.

I'm not your patient, Mother.

I'm your kid, and I'm very upset about

the way you've handled this divorce stuff.

And how would youhave handled it if you were me?

-I would've talked to me about it more,

I mean, on your process.

I see.

In return, I would've told you

I'm afraid to go somewhere weirdwithout Daddy.

-He left me,Jordy. What did you want me to do?

Why didn't he want us?

It's very complicated, honey,

but I don't want you for a minute

to think any of it was your fault.

Okay. I should have let you in on it more.

But I-I was just trying to protect you.

Which is why we're running away

to a place where they don't evenhave cable.

We are not running away.

We're going back -- very different.

I sure hope so.

I have to go to junior high now.

I just can't take care of you anymore.

Grandma's house has indoor plumbing, right?

Absolutely.

How about a microwave?

You have to remember, Jordy, Grandma's old house is...

It's old.

What about neighbors?

Just one family.

Who?

-Not now, Jordy. I'm driving. -Mom?

The Traynors.

They had a son.

His name is Clay.

We were...engaged once.

Engaged?

You were engaged to somebody other than Daddy?

Only briefly.

-And you never told me about this?

Well, it never came up.

So were you in love with him?

-Yes. Of course I was. -Then why didn't you marry him?

It's a long story, Jordy.

Tell me.

-We just weren't right for each other.

I was adventurous.

He was provincial.

I didn't realize it till it was almost too late.

On our wedding day, I...

kind of...didn't show up.

What?

You mean you left him at the altar?

I'm not proud of it.

I can't believe this.

Do people really do that?

I guess so.

Wow, Mom.

I mean, wow.

So do you ever think you made a mistake?

Not for one second.

If I hadn't left Mayville and married your father...

I wouldn't have had you.

This is it. We're here.

It's worse than my nightmares.

Oh, come on.

There's someone I want you to meet.

Come on.

Mr. Dave.

It's Carolyn Giblin.

Well, I'll be.

And who's this?

This is my daughter, Jordy.

Jordy, this is Mr. Dave.

He's been looking after Grandma's house for me.

-I had to hire somebody to help me this year

on account of my arthritis.

-Aw. I'm sorry to hear that.

-Your mother broke a number of hearts when she left Mayville.

Did you know that?

-Did you know the guy she was engaged to?

-Uh, we don't have time to talk about that now.

We just came by to pick up the key.

Well, now, uh,

the place ain't exactly what you might call ready.

-Oh, that's all right. We'll be fine.

I'm real anxious to get up there and see it.

-Well, if you want to, there's your key.

Thank you.

-Good to have you back, Miss Carolyn.

It's good to be back.

Let's go.

Where's the house?

This is it.

Mom, all it's missing is a signsaying "Condemned."

It'll be great, Jordy.

Oh.

Ugh.

Jordy, come on!

You haven't even seen all of it yet!