Magnum P.I.

- Hello. Sharon? - Sorry, do I know you?

No, but in a strange chain of events,

I-I think I have your cell phone.

That isn't mine.

Are you sure? Because we have...

I'm sure. Have a nice day.

Something's off.

Yeah, she couldn't get rid of us fast enough.

- I told you, it's not my phone. - Yes, we know.

It's just that we're, uh, new to the neighborhood and we were

wondering if you knew of any good restaurants nearby.

There's a diner at the end of Pua Road. Goodbye.

Thank you.

There's definitely someone else in there.

Yeah, and they can't like us breathing down their necks.

Which is why we need to do something fast.

Like most people, I'm in a group text with my best buds.

Ours is called "The Ohana Thread."

It started out with me, Rick, and TC,

but over time, Kumu and Higgins joined in.

We usually just text random videos,

like kids ranting on Novocaine or a sneezing baby panda.

So when Rick sent us a message

asking all of us to meet him this morning,

we figured it had to be important.

- Hey, Juliet. - Hi.

- Thanks. - Thank you.

How was your flight?

Oh, you know,

brilliant. 20-hour flight from London to Oahu

was just the bee's knees.

Wow, you even sound more British.

Right on time.

Honestly, Magnum, I had to fly through ten time zones

to get here and I still arrived before you did.

Hey, you know the lead singer of the band

is always the last one to arrive.

Well, well, well, it's The Ohana Thread in the flesh.

Please, follow me. I got something to show you.

Come on, get in here. Let me get that for you.

Oh, thanks.

So...

Is that a question or are you just struggling

to find words to follow?

How did your big MI6 meeting go?

Smashing.

Smashing? Are you being sarcastic?

Because I-I can never tell with you.

It was not sarcastic.

See, that sounded sarcastic.

- I honestly don't know the difference. - Yeah.

Check it out, my friends.

The last original tiki bar on the island.

This place was around before Hawaii

was even a state.

And after all these years,

the owner is ready to retire.

So what do you guys think?

This is kitschy, but why are we here?

That, my friend, is the 2 million dollar question...

quite literally, because the place is up for sale.

Wait, are you...

Devilishly handsome? Yes, I am. Thank you for noticing.

And I'm also broke

because I put down a deposit to try and buy the place.

No way!

So you are the owner of La Mariana now?

Not yet. The deposit was to hold the property.

I still need some financial backing to pull it off.

Hm, good friend needs financial backing?

This has Robin Masters' name all over it.

No, no, no, no. Robin has given me enough.

Well, I could throw you some extra dough.

Magnum, I don't think the bank's going to accept

chocolate coins covered in tinfoil.

All I'm saying is that whatever I have is yours.

Me, too. I mean,

I'd have to move a few things around, but...

No, thank you, guys. I appreciate it.

It means a lot, but, uh, I'm not looking for any handouts.

In fact, I have a meeting with the bank later today

to try and buy the joint.

Just kind of wanted your opinion.

Oh, this is

Nicky "The Kid" Demarco.

He comes with the place. Nicky, these are my buddies.

This is Thomas, Juliet, TC, and Kumu.

Hey, guys.

It's nice to meet you, brother.

Man, you didn't tell me you had a piano man.

- This place is pretty dope. - It is dope,

and I can't wait to return it to its former glory.

It just, uh, just needs a little sprucing up a bit, you know?

Yeah, well, does that plan include me?

'Cause I don't know if this old dog could do any new tricks.

Oh, Nicky, come on, you're not old, you're just vintage, baby.

Vintage, I like that.

Well, just gonna sit there,

or you gonna tell me about your big hoity-toity meeting?

What happened in that meeting, Magnum,

is solely my business.

Anyway, I could tell you, but then I would have to...

You'd have to kill me, is that it?

No, then I'd have to listen to you beg me

to be your partner as opposed to rejoining MI6.

So you haven't decided yet?

Not yet. They want an answer by the end of next week.

Just so you know, there will be no begging on my part.

That's easy for you to say.

You don't know what they're offering.

I don't care what they're offering. It doesn't matter.

You can either work with this

massive, global intelligence service,

or you can stay on the island

and work up close and personal with clients.

I mean, don't you want to help

good, everyday people?

- Magnum, you're begging. - I'm not begging.

I just want you to understand both offers, that's all.

I am well aware.

Listen, speaking of offers, I am kind of worried about Rick.

Do you know that more than 80%

of new pubs and restaurants fail?

La Mariana's been around forever.

It's just under new management.

Yes, but if it fails, Rick is without a job

and with a huge loan to repay.

I don't know, Rick's always got this funny way

of always making things work out.

Who's this guy?

Aloha.

Thomas Magnum?

Yeah. And you are...?

My name is Jin.

Sorry, uh, when I couldn't get ahold of you,

I came straight here. It's very important.

Are you wearing a false mustache?

- Yeah. - Are you in hiding?

Ish. There may or may not be various people looking for me.

Well, it's pretty secluded here.

You can probably drop the disguise.

I'm sorry, why are you wearing a false mustache

if you already have a real mustache?

Well, this is obviously a fake mustache,

and if people are looking for me,

they wouldn't be looking for a guy

with a real mustache.

Uh, yeah.

Seems logical.

So how can we help you?

Okay, so, um, I found a phone this morning

and I don't know who it belongs to.

Oh. Well, I know that Magnum doesn't look like much,

but he tends to deal with

slightly more serious cases than lost cell phones.

Ah, yeah, but this, uh, cell phone has a problem,

and let me show you.

That's not it. That's not it.

This is not it.

Okay...

- So, you "found" this phone? - Yeah.

What about all the other phones and wallets?

They're mine.

And what about the pink Gucci necklace?

Oh, there's a very funny story behind this,

I'm holding this for my sister and...

...she had her quinceañera.

You're a thief.

Easy. I prefer "asset redistributor." Okay.

Oh, found it.

Listen, I couldn't go to the cops

because I tend to dance on the line of morality.

Line of morality? You're a pickpocket.

What makes you think that we won't go to the cops?

Duh, P.I.-client confidentiality.

That's not a thing.

It is.

No. Doctors, lawyers, and clergy. Not P.I.s.

A-Are you sure?

Huh.

Okay, I snagged a bunch of phones,

and before I wiped them,

some crazy messages occurred on this phone.

Okay.

"They're coming for me.

"Get out of the house and get to safety.

If anything happens... I love u."

Something bad is going on here, man.

And whoever's phone this is never got the warning?

All right, I want to do the right thing for once.

I need help.

This could be our only chance to help

the person that sent that text.

Are you casing the joint? Don't get any ideas, all right?

Can't a guy appreciate fine things

without being judged?

Yes, but just so you know,

we have two killer dogs who love to chew on unwanted guests.

Yeah, it's like a roach motel.

You go in, but you're not coming out.