Young & Hungry

I can't believe I'm about to deliver "Gabi's Box" to my first paying customer.

Sound like a hooker.

What if not enough people want a romantic dinner in a box,

and my new business is a flop?

Plenty of people will want it.

Look, people are suckers for romance.

But what if they're not? I mean, what if more people are like us,

and they have sex-only punch card relationships

without the romance or the emotions or the feelings?

Stop worrying. People are not as evolved as you and I.

That's true.

Oh, shoot, did I remember the mini-champagne?

- Yes. - And the romantic playlist?

Yes. You packed the bubbly and the Buble. You are good to go.

Okay. All right. I'm gonna knock,

and when Marissa answers, you snap a photo of my first happy customer.

It's gonna look so good on my website,

which you're making, by the way, thank you.

Hi, Marissa? I'm Gabi, from Gabi's Box,

and I'm here to deliver a romantic dinner from your boyfriend Vinny!

...Vinny!

Oh my god, you poor thing.

Can you believe Vinny did that to her?

You understood that?

Uh, they went out for two years,

he ordered a romantic dinner for her,

and then he broke up with her outta nowhere right before it got here.

How did you not get that?

I'm sorry, this is a bit of an uncomfortable situation.

Yeah, I know, uh, will you stay with her?

What? Me? No! Why?

'Cause I have four more boxes to deliver.

So why don't you stay with her and I'll deliver the boxes?

Uh, excuse me, who is the face of Gabi's box? Gabi.

People see Gabi's face, and they want Gabi's Box.

I gotta go, you gotta stay.

I'm not staying with her.

Josh, look at her, she's not stable.

I mean, what if she does something crazy?

Like what?

Like... give me a bad Yelp review.

Goodbye.

Come on, Elliot.

You need to lie down.

Oh, Alan. You take such good care of me.

Oooh, have you been working out?

The drugs they give you

when they take out your wisdom teeth

must be good.

You lie down on the couch.

I'm gonna go get my camera phone.

What's that sound?

Who's there?

Uh-oh.

Aaaaah!

What's wrong?

There's a squirrel in the wall!

We're in the penthouse in a glass tower. There's no squirrel.

Yes, there is. Look in the hole!

Oh my... Damn!

Elliot, you can't go makin' a hole in the wall

every time you hallucinate on hard drugs!

If I did that, my apartment would look like Swiss cheese.

Oh my god... you know how we look at really successful people, and they're like smart,

and rich, and happy, and we hate them?

Well, start hatin' me.

My life sucks.

You know, my first delivery was a little rough,

because my first customer burst into tears,

but I made Josh stay with her, and the rest of the deliveries went great,

so let's just say, everything's comin' up Gabi.

I've never been this miserable.

I'm making money, I have a successful business...

Oh... Josh is comin' over. And we all know why. Sex.

How happy... are you... for me?

I hate everything.

Wh... What... What is this? What's going on? You seem... down.

Well... Logan asked me to write my very first article for Click'd

and I have nothing to write about.

- Oh, come on, there's gotta be somethin'. - No. There isn't, Gabi.

Okay, because she wants it to be about something dramatic and exciting,

and I go to work, I come home,

I play online Yahtzee, and I go to bed.

Where is the drama and excitement in that?

I'm really sorry, but can we talk about this later,

because Josh is here, and we're gonna have like a bunch of s...

Yeah, sex, I know, I get it, you're having sex.

- Hey. - Hey!

Sorry it took me so long, I was a Marissa's for hours.

Oh... yeah, sorry I stuck you with her.

That's okay. First 20 minutes all I did was hand her tissue

after tissue. You know, what you did for me when... Han Solo died.

But then she wanted to enjoy your dinner, which was delicious,

by the way. And we started talking about relationships

and feelings, and we kinda hit it off.

What?

Remember how we said if we met somebody,

we would each tell each other... and we'd put the punch card on hold?

Yes, the "Tell and Hold."

The "Tell... and Hold."

Okay. So... I think this might be the "tell" part.

Because she asked me out for tomorrow night, and I...

think I kinda might've said yes.

Oh?

And I... I wasn't even sure I was really gonna tell you.

Well... why... why wouldn't you tell me?

I mean... what do you think "tell" means in "Tell and Hold"?

You can't have a "Tell and Hold" without the "tell" part... would you like some wine?

Thank you, I'd love some.

Well, I just figured... what if the date doesn't go well?

I wouldn't have to tell you because there'd be no hold.

But then I thought, what if it did go well?

The right thing to do would be for me to tell you,

so this is me telling you.

Gabi, we might be on a hold.

Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

Yeah, this is great. I mean, this is why the "Tell and Hold" exists.

So you're okay with this? I'm not even sure I was.

Wha...? Please, why wouldn't I be okay with a "Tell and Hold"?

I mean, it's called the "Tell and Hold,"

I invented the "Tell and Hold"!

I toast you.

Okay. Uh...

Maybe I should go?

What if I... tell you to leave, while I hold open the door?

That's a little... that's a little "Tell and Hold" humor.

Wow. Uh... you're amazing.

Thank you for understanding.

Mm-hm.

Good night.

Mm-hm.

Gabi... I'm so sorry to make this about myself,

but I finally found an article that is dramatic and exciting.

A modern day romance gone awry.

Awry?

What's... what's awry? Nothing's awry.

Oh my god, Gabi, this is killing you.

Okay, the ironic thing is, if you hadn't told him to stay with that girl,

none of this would've happened.

Is "devastated" spelled with an "E" or an "A"?

Devastated? Oh my god. Are you so desperate

for a story that you're just gonna...

pretend that I'm upset?

No, I mean, I... I... love that Josh is going out with another girl.

You know? I'm... I am fine with it.

Hi. Are you Marissa's boyfriend?

I... was.

You need to get back together with her.

Thank you so much for asking us in, Vinny.

I didn't.

Who are you again?

Oh, uh, I'm... I'm Gabi from Gabi's Box.

Thanks for your... order, by the way, make sure you like us

on Facebook, so why the hell did you break up with Marissa?

I mean, she loves you so much, and she thought that you loved her.

Hey, I do love her.

I love her more than any woman I've ever known.

It's just... I have to marry somebody else.

Oh my god, did you get somebody else pregnant?

This is good. This is good stuff, Vinny.

N... No! No. My parents have set up an arranged marriage.

My future wife Raya, she's flying in from Mumbai,

and we're all getting dinner tomorrow night.

An arranged marriage? Oh my god, Gabi, I've found my hook.

So, you're gonna marry someone you've never met when you're in love

with somebody else? I mean, you need to get back

with your someone else.

I have a question... why do you care?

Because if you love Marissa, you need to be with her.

The people that belong together need to be together!

Look, my parents scare me. They don't even know that I smoke pot.

You're not gonna tell them, are you?

No, but you might wanna hide this bong.

Hey... Vinny... I wonder what would happen

if you told your parents that you love Marissa?

It's cool that I'm having this pizza, right?

It doesn't matter who I love.

What matters is who they love, and they love Raya.

Well, how do you know they're gonna love Raya?

I mean, they haven't even met Raya.

Oh... they're gonna love her. She is a virgin vegetarian

chemical engineer, it's the Indian trifecta.

Indian trifecta! That's good stuff.

Vinny...

what if the Raya they meet is actually... none of those things?

What if she's a... What if she's a sex-loving, meat-eating,

not-a-chance-in-hell- of-being a chemical engineer?

Ohhh... I see what you're doing.

You're gonna get some girl to pretend to be a horrible version

of Raya, so that his parents...

It's me, isn't it?

Thank you so much for getting all the snacks ready for my date with Marissa.

Did you hear that? "Date... with Marissa."

Date... with someone who's not Gabi.

When's the last time you heard me say that?

About three minutes ago.

Look... that's because I'm excited!

You know, technically, Gabi and I aren't even dating,

we're just having sex, which, don't get me wrong, it's nice.

It's nice.