The Tender Trap

Have a nice flight, Mrs.

Antrim.

Thank you, I will.

Thank

you. Bye.

Oh,

this one is so

beautiful for your lovely skin.

Oh, thank you.

Going somewhere nice?

Yeah.

This is Frank.

He says I'm gonna love London.

I'm very lucky.

You sure are.

That's me.

Oh.

Let's hope it's an upgrade.

Fingers crossed.

Hello, um, my name was just called out over the loudspeaker.

I'm Sharon Armstrong.

Can I help you?

Come with us, Mrs.

Armstrong.

Excuse me?

Come with us.

English?

No.

New Zealand.

New Zealander.

But I'm going to England.

London.

Nueva Zelanda.

Mira, imagínate, mis agentes juegan rugby, amigo.

¿Te acuerdas?

Sí.

All Blacks?

What?

Leche Macao?

Oh, yes.

I don't know how to cope.

Sit down, Miss Armstrong.

Is this your bag?

Yes.

Did you pack it yourself?

Yes, mostly.

Let me call my fiancé, Frank.

He can explain.

No, no, no.

Open the suitcase.

I can't.

The key's in my handbag.

Those are very highly confidential papers, and that's why they're hidden under the

lining.

There's

supposed to be documents.

You will now be strip searched and taken by police to hospital for an internal

examination and X-ray.

No, no.

Off.

El brasier off.

Hey,

I need to use the toilet.

Carving out the bed of the Whanganui River on his journey to the sea.

Taranaki Maunga remained there with Pouakahi,

and their offspring became the trees, plants, birds, and rivers

that flow from their slopes.

The

end.

Did he go down okay?

He's cozy as.

What have I missed?

Uh, Auntie Leanne forgot to put Auntie Gums on the invite list.

Oh geez, she's still alive?

Dietary requirements, mash.

She's not going to be happy unless she's on the main table either.

Oh, maybe we should Maybe you should have settled for a registry wedding after all.

Me?

Hell no!

I want to show my bride off in front of a crowd.

Been waiting long enough.

Oh, you two, get a room.

Just to let you ladies know, the mullet might make a comeback on the big day.

You had better be joking.

Man doesn't joke about his hair, babe.

Yeah, but what if the man's hair is the joke?

I'm offended.

I love you.

Oh, while I remember, Cass, can you make sure that my invite has one plus, please?

Oh, are the blokes from the Cosy Club?

Oh no, I'm just saying that I'll definitely have a hot date come the big day.

Ah,

well, I'm bringing Manaya.

No way, what happened to that fella?

Eh,

he was a nice guy, just not right.

Oh, for God's sake, am I the only one making an effort in this family?

Uh, yeah, I know, I know, but you guys are excluded.

What about you, Shah?

No grey-haired foxy men up at the school dropping the kids off?

Not that I've noticed.

Really?

Mmm.

So how long has it been since you shut up shop?

Ah, hey, hey.

I know, you're batting for the other side.

It's okay, I'm just perfectly happy on my own, Rita.

That's—.

Hey, hey, she was just joking, Mum.

Too far.

Rita!

Just saying.

You

know that I didn't mean to upset you before, eh?

I'm sorry, cuz.

Yeah.

I'll tell you what, it's just that you are such a great catch and you don't know it.

Apparently not.

Come on then, come out with me on Friday night.

I'm not going to meet anyone at the club, Rita.

Hey, um, have you tried going online to one of those dating sites?

Oh no, no, absolutely not.

Why not?

No way.

People have been meeting like that for a long time, online.

What have you got to lose?

I wouldn't do it.

At the very least, a cup of coffee, and at the very best, some hot date for Leanne's

wedding. Come on, you'll have fun.

No, it's not the right time for me.

You know what they say, eh, cuz?

You wait for the right time and you'll be waiting forever.

Look, Sharon, it's not you, it's— My age.

It's the market.

I mean, how qualified are you?

Your experience—.

Counts for nothing.

Going forward, you might want to consider volunteer work in the interim.

Keep a hand in.

Ka kite, Agatha.

Portia McGreedy.

Oh, hey, Shar.

Just put the kettle on.

I've got cake and venue options.

Ooh.

Oh, you look great.

Any luck?

Nothing new.

I'm as overqualified as I was last week.

Week, apparently.

Just another way of saying they don't want to pay you what you're worth.

Hey,

I found a photo for the invite.

What do you think?

What was the theme of your engagement party?

Bogan?

Shake?

Jeez, who'd have thought I'd have to wait another 20-something years for the

wedding, eh?

And still be in love.

Still time, Char.

Do you remember the old Scout Hall?

They've turned it into a conference venue.

Isn't this where Mum and Dad—.

It's a bit out of the way, but—.

It's perfect.

Hey.

Oh, no, it's nothing.

I, um,

just, uh, just been thinking about Mum and Dad quite a bit and wishing that they

could be here, you know.

Oh, yeah, me too.

Sha,

will you give me away?

Oh,

yes!

Look at Manaya.

He would have been about 18 months.

Chubby ears.

Such a beautiful

Boy.

Now, cuz, have you got any just on your own, you know, looking incredibly sexy?

No.

What about your biopic?