12 Dog Days Till Christmas

Hello, ma'am, and happy holidays.

My name is Jack, and I have

a cleaning product that will change your life.

I'm really just not interested.

Okay, well, let's take this stain here for example.

Please, stop, I'm not interested.

Okay, well, a quick spray, and an even quicker wipe...

and voilà, it's gone.

Wow... I'm impressed.

As is...

Oh, Bootsy.

As is Bootsy.

You really are something, young man.

Next thing you know, you're gonna tell me

that I can use it to brush my teeth.

No, I wouldn't recommend that, but let's say

little Bootsy here has a whoopsie on the carpet--

Kid, how many times have I told you

not to hustle your stuff up here?

Sir, can I just finish this transaction?

This beautiful lady seems enthralled with my fine cleaning products.

You don't get it, do you?

You're not welcome here.

Sir, I am trying to raise money

for Christmas presents for orphans.

This is what happens when the parents aren't around

to put a leash on their kids.

You always have a story, don't you?

But this time, it's true!

Ma'am, if we could just please go across the street

to finish our transaction over there, then maybe--

Forget it, kid-- get outta here.

Don't make me call the cops.

Capisce? Yeah, I got it!

What do you think you're doing, kid?

Giving you a reason to call the cops!

Go on, dial 9-1-1.

Tell 'em old Jack is here waiting for 'em.

They knome quite well.

Yes, Joanna? Hey, Art, Jack is back.

Should I show him in?

Yes, show him in.

Jack is back.

Why am I not surprised?

Hello, Jack.

Well, now, see, this is the part

where you're supposed to say, "Hello, Officer Stephenson.

How are you?"

Well, I'll tell you how I am, Jack.

I am very disappointed in you.

Why are you always so angry?

Check your fact file there.

You'll find a full list of reasons.

We have been through this over the years, haven't we, son?

I've been through it.

With you, it's just age.

What are you now, 75, 80?

You know, I remember when we first met.

What was it, about five years ago?

Back then, you at least tried to be nice to me.

And look how far that got me.

Do you know who you remind me of?

Here we go again about my mother.

One of your first probationers.

So much potential.

I've heard it before.

And how is your mother?

I don't know.

Still not keeping up with you, huh?

Nope.

I must be a disappointment to her too.

Well, you don't have to be a disappointment to me, son.

Trespassing? Destruction of private property?

Arson?

Come on, what is that all about?

It was barely a candle's flame, really.

I really thought that we were turning things around, Jack.

There is no "we",

just you behind that desk and then me,

out here in the real world.

Sit down, son.

It says here 1 year of intensive probation

and 120 hours of community service.

Now, do you think you can do that?

Afterschool, maybe on weekends?

Whatever.

Well, since roadside clean-up hasn't done much

to curb your delinquent behavior,

I got something else in mind.

You're gonna be helping people this Christmas.

How about that?

So, Jackson, I'm Blair, and I'm in charge of this place.

Oh, it's Jack.

My name's Jack. Jack.

But your probation placement report says your name is Jackson.

Oh, yeah, birth names can be outgrown, Blair.

Duly noted, Jack.

So follow me.

So... this is where the action happens.

And this is Hillary.

Hi, I handle most of the paperwork here.

That's my sister Ryan.

She takes care of the pups.

And this is our adorable crew.

Well, it'll be wonderful working with such beautiful ladies.

Our big mission here is to clean up and close up

before we all leave for the Christmas holidays, okay?

Sounds like a plan.

Okay, so you're gonna be mostly cleaning up.

Is that okay with you?

Oh, it's completely fine.

I have extensive experience in cleaning products.

Even started my own brand.

Okay, so we're gonna have you clean

one of the empty enclosures.

Ryan, do you mind showing him how to do that?

If I must.

Well, she seems busy with that rat creature-looking thing.

Maybe old Hillary could show me around.

Her name's Petunia, and she's a mixed breed,

not a rat creature.

Okay, Jack, come with me.

See you around, "Cryan".

Jack, you know dinner's at 6:00.

Why are you always so late?

I was working. Working?

Is that what you call it?

Because I understood that it was community service

for being in trouble again.

Thanks for informing the whole table about my life,

just in case they didn't already know.

Come on, no need to get smart, son.

I'm not your son, Lou, and you're not my father.

Yeah, you've made that clear, Jack.

It's your choice being in and out of fosters all the time.

Thanks for reminding me of my sad life.

It really makes me feel all warm inside.

Anyone want to make Christmas cookies?

Finish your food, boys.

We love you, Jack, don't we, Ton?

Of course. Thanks, guys.

Glad to know there's some love in this house.

Jack, as much as you disagree,

we're trying to make your life better by what we provide.

I'm just a grocery bill to you guys.

Believe what you want, but we're trying to build a family here.

I can feel the overwhelming presence of love.

You know, you don't have to stay.

What does that mean?

I'll be coming with you guys when you move in a few months?

That's right, boys.

Old Lou and Josie are moving to Arizona,

a more arid climate for Josie's asthma.

I overheard you talking out back the other night,

so merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.

Hey, going to a little holiday shindig near campus.

Lots of cute college boys,

and from what I hear, mistletoe under every doorway.

You interested? No thanks.

You know, you can't sit in your room your entire life

reading post-feminist chick lit.

I'm reading Stephen King.

Ugh, same thing.

Anyway, have a merry little yawner at home.

This is Titus.

Definitely no big barker.

No way.

What about Mimsy here?

She's sweet, and good,

and just dying for someone to love her.

See?

I don't know.

She's a little bit bigger than what I pictured.

She's not that big.

Um, I don't think she's gonna get much bigger.

Just look at her feet.

I just don't think she's what I'm looking for.

I mean, I was really looking for a dog

that I could fit in my purse, you know?

Okay, well, sorry we couldn't find a good match for you today, Jen.

Personally, I think this dog is perfect for you, Jennifer.

Or do you go by Jen?

May I call you Jen?

Well, see, she's quiet as a dormouse,

and that is your main concern, yes?

And you can't really hold it against her

that she's not some yappy teacup dog.

She's still cute, and, uh, between you and I,

all the dogs in here are cute.

But this dog has been looking at you

since the minute you walked in.

Can't you see it in her eyes?

I think you might need Misty as much as Misty needs you.

Mimsy.

Okay.

She is really cute.

And calm.

You're right.

I'll take r.

I assure you-- this will be the greatest Christmas present