Corporate Retreat

What are you reading, babe?

-What are you reading? -Sorry, what did you say?

What are you reading?

Oh, I have a final exam on Monday.

Abnormal psychology is really kicking my ass.

Yeah, but with an ass like yours, who needs psychology?

Yeah, I need to study up so I can protect myself from weirdos like you.

Yeah, that's right.

Amanda, hey, everything okay?

What?

Okay, just make sure she's safe this weekend, all right?

Okay, gotta go.

Can't find Cliff.

Why do you need him?

Okay, but that's it. No more studying.

We're done. We're gonna have a nice romantic getaway, as promised.

So what are we waiting for?

-I'm sure he's on his way. -Yeah, well, he better get here soon.

We've gotta resolve this before the stupid fucking retreat

because apparently we're not allowed to work over the next few days.

Guys, can you get on the bus?

We're already behind schedule.

Yeah.

Thank you. Let's go.

Yay!

I am so excited for this retreat.

Right, Omar?

We do this every year and it always sucks.

Oh, my God. Stop being such a Debbie Downer.

Okay, now that Arthur's gone, we don't have to play

any of those weird games he liked anymore.

And I think it's going to be amazing.

Deborah, how are you faring today?

It's like a retreat into hell.

We have to feign interest in our colleagues.

Oh, I think you're all very interesting.

That right there.

That's the spirit. Now, everyone, when you get off of this bus,

I expect you all to smile and try to enjoy yourselves.

Please?

Okay. I'll take that as a yes.

Oh. I have some friends.

What do you mean "friends?"

You'll see.

Where the fuck were you?

I was busy.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

Um, hi.

I'm Ginger.

That's really professional, Cliff.

You're supposed to be my legal counsel, not my fucking liability.

Where's my fucking bag?

-Done? -Yeah.

Here you are.

Please grab a pair of shoes.

And I will take your phone when you're ready.

We will get to that later, but we are thrilled to have you.

Is this really necessary?

Um, yes. You will find that it will be

a lovely experience.

-Thank you so much. -Thank you.

Excuse me. May I have your phone please?

My pleasure.

Love the color.

I wasn't really supposed to be here.

Is this necessary for me?

Yes, please join us.

-You're more than welcome. -Thank you.

Seriously? You expect me to put this on?

Oh, it is important for team building.

I'll look like a camp counselor.

-Please don't forget your shoes. -I'll take that.

Oh just...

It's necessary to disconnect.

I have a kid at home. It's... it's not happening.

Well, yes, of course.

-Here you are. -It would really help to...

-Size nine, right? -Absolutely.

Have a great time.

Thank you so much.

Hello?

-This better be good. -It's going to be amazing.

You won't regret it.

I promise.

I have a couple other ideas about how I can make it up to you.

Are you going to make it up to me?

One thousand percent.

Wait. Why'd you bring your gun?

We left the city. This is the wild west.

I want protection.

What? You think you're macho?

I think I'm an American.

And I can carry whatever the fuck I want.

-Isn't it loaded? -Of course.

God, I wish you would leave that in the car.

No. Uh...

I can't kiss you while you have a loaded gun in your waistband.

What are you talking about? There's an element of danger.

It's fucking sexy. Look at this thing.

Yeah, until you shoot your dick off.

But maybe you deserve that.

Stop it.

Give me that.

Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.

Um, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize I was interrupting.

No, you're not. It's really, um...

It's really hot outside.

It's just, yeah, we've been sweating a lot.

Yeah.

Right.

-Um, Ginger. -Yeah?

We would love for you to join us in the activities this weekend.

No, thanks.

We insist.

Let's talk about it.

We're gonna go to our room.

Okay.

Please think about it.

I'll let you know. Thank you.

We're gonna go cool off some more.

You brought me on a corporate retreat?

It's okay, baby. Just relax.

How can I fucking relax, Cliff?

Hey, look at this. Look at this. Come here.

Look at how beautiful you are.

You told me we're going on a romantic getaway.

And you know what?

Now that I think about it,

it maybe should have been a little bit more clear.

Yeah, a lot more clear.

Well, I don't really know what the big deal is.

It's fun. You can join in on the fun.

Hmm. Yeah, no, I'm good with my books.

Enjoy your corporate bonding love fest.

Okay.

Baby, come here.

We're gonna have a great time.

Cliff?

I'm gonna try my best to enjoy myself,

but I really don't know if it's gonna work out between us

if you're not 100% honest with me.

I'm gonna make it up to you.

I promise.

So, how long have you been dating Cliff?

A few months now.

Hmm.

I know it's weird that I'm here.

It wasn't my idea.

Just, um, Cliff didn't tell me this was a corporate retreat.

Cliff can be kind of a loose cannon.

Yeah, I'm finding that out now.

What do you do?

I'm in college,

but I'm hoping to go to grad school for psychology.

Yeah, I don't know anything about this business stuff.

I'm more of an academic.

I hear you.

I've got three degrees.

-What, three degrees? -Yeah.

I've got a master's in business, a B.A. in botany, and a Ph.D. in chemistry.

That's so cool.

You must be like a genius.

I just couldn't make up my mind.

It's kind of a men's club in the company,

so it's nice having some more feminine energy.

I'm glad you're here.

You think you can do whatever you want.

Fuck you. She's my girl.

Yeah, well, you need to inform me of these things, okay?

What are you, like, trying to make me look like an asshole?

You guys are fighting over the stupidest shit.

See, I'm the one running the company, okay?

You work for me.

Hey, relax, all right?

Let's go meet them outside.

Fuck my life.

Carl's phone.

-Thank you. -I just really wanted to have the full experience.

He will.

Mm. Isn't it peaceful here?

Yeah, no one in sight.

A psycho could kill us and no one would even know about it.

Okay, and let me guess. I'm the murderer!

Maybe in another life. It's also hot as fuck out here.

We could die of dehydration.

I actually think it's pretty.

You picked a great spot.

Who are you again?

Hey.

-What? -Watch it.

All right, everyone. Let's get started.

What about Deborah?

She wasn't feeling very well.

She's lying down, and I think we should continue.

Today we will make our way through a series of experiences

to connect with and open up each of the seven gateways.

And what are the seven gateways, Lola?

So glad you asked, Amber.

We start with the ground at the base of the spine.