Budapest Heist (Pesti balhé)

Not again!

I'm not an art thief.

But one does a lot for his friends.

We did the first big job in sixth grade.

This handsome kid is me. Marcell Solymosi, the gang leader.

BIRDER'S CAMP

That's Alexa, the only chick on the team.

-Is everything okay, Alexa? -The coast is clear!

Wait, Guszti!

Because every plan needs a team.

-Everything is OK? -I'm fine!

This is Vince. A capital buddy.

And here is Guszti. A colossal quakebuttock.

The mosquitoes ate me alive!

That wannabe Apache, he's...

Jet!

Jet!

Shaggy Bison!

Ghastly Bison, focus, the mission is on!

In art class, Vince painted a bird. And I drew a dong on it.

A fairly good one, by the way.

But for this stint, Vince may be kicked out.

But we'll make it up to him.

I screwed this up, so I wanted to steal the picture back.

We prepared carefully.

-The weather seems perfect. -Wind speed is 34 km.

There's a crescent moon, Luna Semiformis.

Punani penisorbit?

We were like the pros in the movies.

Let's synchronize our watches. Marcell?

Like Paul Newman!

Move!

-Stop, stop! -What are you doing?

-Just to make a memory. -Doesn't that thing have a flash?

-Of course not. -Come on!

Idiot!

On we go to the teachers' house.

Yeah, and then he is...

Adrián! Adrián!

-Paul Newman! Paul Newman! -He'll wake up the whole camp!

Adrián... 'Paul Newman' is only for emergencies, okay?

Ms. Juli did not see the dick painting yet.

We had to steal it back while she was not in the house.

We'd got the teachers' schedule.

The team was ready to roll, with me and Vince leading the heist.

Little Jet was sent out to do the scouting.

Before that we only studied the sex life of Amobeas in biology class.

Ms. Juli!

Hey! Is that the principal?

I don't know! I have only seen him clothed.

If they catch us, we're dead!

The principal won't leave any witnesses alive.

We're lucky. There's the stuff!

Have you heard that?

Come back! You're seeing things!

It was here that Alexa and I... felt that tingling for the first time.

But maybe it was just the ants.

Shall we save poor Ms. Juli?

Total success.

We were out of trouble.

Oh my God! The house will burn down!

Hurry up... do something!

There they run!

Vince!

Vince!

Marcell!

Stop!

I got you!

They took poor Vince to the juvie right away.

For a long time it seemed like... this would be our last heist.

BUDAPEST HEIST

Ottó, have you looked at the design plans?

-The ones about Dragon Plaza. -Yeah. They were okay.

But we still had to fix them.

Fix them?

Here... office from the front, office from the side, yada-yada, ka-ching.

You've wrecked my plans completely. Not freaking fair!

Ottó, where are my hanging gardens. The geothermal heating?

Marcell, I have told you, we don't need this eco-whatnot,

this sustainable thingamajig. This isn't that game.

2012. We hired this prodigy... Swedish scholarship winner Marcell Solymosi.

He was completely broke. You ever heard of him?

In fact I have! And he told me that he's fed up.

They fund your projects because of my name!

Yet you buy a new car every year, do you?

I know what your problem is. Not the design plans.

You need a juicy little adventure, huh?

Mr. Li and the Dragon Plaza investors are here. They are hungry.

Damn! I forgot about them!

Stop right there. You're coming with us! This evening is important.

I promised Mr. Li to introduce you. You are the ace!

You can't be serious! Today is my birthday. I wanted to surprise myself.

Happy birthday! Stop whining!

Where's that crazy guy?

And that old girl?

They are in a good place now.

Perhaps I should say something too... about my eco-friendly technology.

Albino baby boa, wow!

I need to go to the bathroom.

Excuse me! I'll be back.

Guszti... Guszti?

-Nice of you to remember me still. -What are you doing here?

Happy 40th!

Oh, sorry! I started it while still at home, and continued in the taxi.

Come.

Alexa?

-Why? Who were you expecting? -Not my ex-girlfriend for sure.

-Well... I see you did your hair. -I wanted this blue-yellow color.

Yeah, your famous IKEA braids...

Wow, a calculator watch? With two tones?

-What are you guys doing here? -Vince invited us.

Howdy.

Hi.

Guys... we haven't met in ages. How did you know I was here?

Your boss posts on Facebook just about every second.

Shit!

It's so good to be together again like we used to!

Is that... Jet? Trying to screw Frankenstein's sister?

Here we are. I just took the gang to dance to Justin Bieber.

Who are these people? Some traveling circus?

Sorry!

I wanted to chat with you about the family concept.

Fancy some firewater, my pale-dicked friends?

-Sorry? -Sorry!

This friend... We was in the camp together when we had small dicks.

-Gangsters, get it? -Stop it, you idiot!

Sorry. It was just a joke.

Yeah... Vince found it funny at the juvie, too.

Sorry!

-Call a medic! Doctor! -What's this shit?

Doctor! Get out of the way!

Don't worry! I'm a doctor.

Guszti... Guszti, what are you doing?

No problem! No problem!

Stay with us Mr. Lee!

-Are these clowns really your buddies? -Uh-huh.

Yeah? If we fail the project, I'll send you a horse head!

-A real one? -We'll cook it, bro!

A real horsie coconut.

That's a good one.

Guys!

I was looking forward to meet you again!

Enjoy your meal!

And have you already taken account of your life?

I did my inventory last year. How my body got worn out...

and my soul, too.

-I still have my soul, thanks! -I didn't know yours looked like this!

Adrián, you managed to arrive after all.

-It only just ended! -"It only just ended..."

-Where do we vacation every year? -Where, where?

At the Adriáaantic!

-Hello. -Hey.

Long time no see...

-You haven't changed. -You neither.

Holy shit!

Oh... it's a prop.

We're playing Hamlet now. Two shows a day.

In retirement homes...

Half of the audience falls asleep. They all wake up at the murder scene!

-We use real chicken blood. -I love it!

-Have you brought it? -Yeah.

Open it only when you get home!

Happy 40th!

-Cheers! Don't act so happy! -Thanks!

You know this is a special night, don't you?

When was the last time we were together like this?

10 years ago, at the Swedish awards ceremony.

You were the best of us! The one who won the princess' hand.

And you let it go almost at once.

Marcell Solymosi, an outstanding architect of his generation,

won the scholarship of the Swedish Academy of Architecture.

I miss you being in the team! Are you still mad at us?

We did not expect Jet to mistake an anti-aircraft missile for fireworks.

That guy in the suit burned really well!

As if the Universe itself wanted us to meet again on this very day.

No other universe-ity would talk to us.

Happy birthday!

-Happy New Year! -Happy birthday!

I've been preparing for this day for a long time.

Wish for something, but don't say it!

I wished we had

bought more vodka.

I wished to finally play for a real audience.

For life or death.

Guszti?

But if I tell you, it won't come true? All right, I really want to do surgery.

Not on animals, but on humans for a change.

Don't dare to come near me!

I... want to save the Earth.

-And to finally kiss my frog. -Wow, you are as deep as a well.

-Marcell? -A new car?

A bigger watch?

And you? What do you want?

I wish my father would finally tell me that one of my paintings is good.

Even if it sucks.

I have been planning something for a long time.

There will be an auction. The "auction of the year", two weeks from now.

My dad organizes it. They will auction off a valuable Picasso, too.

The two-headed Madonna with a baby bird.

And you know what? We're going to smuggle in one of my paintings.