South Park

Boner balls.

Boner balls. Boner... Boner forest.

Dense boner forest.

Pungent crotch sweat.

Pungent... Milk... Milky crotch ooze.

Barking vaginal belch.

Protruding vaginal boner.

Mrph rmhmhm rm!

Oh, I like that.

Rotten booby turds!

Nah.

- Bloody butt cough. - Uh-huh.

Angry clit spasm.

- -

Nope, sorry.

Whooping fart balls.

- - Nope.

Lubricated titty burgers.

- - That's taken too.

Indifferent rectal semen splooge.

- - Sorry.

Indifferent Rectal Semen Splooge is taken?

Come on!

How are we supposed to name our start-up company

if every name is already taken?

I told you, you just have to be

really original with your company name.

There's a lot of start-up companies these days.

Furry Balls Plopped Menacingly on the Table, Inc.

- - That's available!

Congratulations.

It doesn't quite roll of the tongue.

Dude, we're not gonna get any attention with that name.

Man, this sucks!

Uh, Stan, aren't you supposed to be in school?

No, Dad, we don't need school anymore.

We're forming a start-up company.

A start-up company? A company that does what?

No, we don't want to do anything.

Yeah, that's why we want to have a start-up company.

Yeah, we're sick of school,

but all the good, attention-getting

start-up company names are taken!

Well, boys, there's more to starting a company

than having a catchy name.

No, there isn't.

You guys! You guys, it's awesome!

Holy shit, you guys!

You guys, I've got it!

What?

It's the greatest start-up company name ever.

What? Tell us!

Washington Redskins.

Washington Redskins?

It's so sweet.

I'm pretty sure that's taken, Cartman.

It's not, dude!

Some dumb court thingy happened, and the trademark got pulled!

We can use it! And the logo!

Washington Redskins.

- I like it. - Mrph rm!

What?

Dude, there's already brand-name awareness,

and it's instantly recognizable.

Wait, guys, this... this doesn't seem legal.

Kyle, you're not hearing me.

The trademark has been pulled. We can do whatever we want.

- You all right, dude? - Yeah. I just...

Well, I just thought our company name would be

more, like, original.

It's a strong name, dude.

It's, like, aggressive and masculine,

like Boner Forest, but Boner Forest was taken.

Yeah, but maybe we need a name that's more affirming,

like, shows what we stand for.

We don't stand for anything. Remember our company plan, guys.

Start up, cash in, sell out, bro down.

I'm just not sure this is the name

people are gonna give money to.

- We already got a dollar! - What?

- $1 pledged! - Mrph rm!

I told you, guys!

"Washington Redskins" totally gets peoples' attention!

- Another $2! - No way!

Sitting on our asses, here we come!

Another new start-up company

is gaining a lot of attention on the Internet.

They're a company that does absolutely nothing

and they're called the Washington Redskins.

The Redskins started as what appeared to be

some kind of adolescent prank,

but almost overnight it has become

one of the most heavily funded projects on Kickstarter.

Why did you give $5

to the Washington Redskins Kickstarter?

I don't know, I just...

They don't do anything. That's pretty sweet.

I don't know. I thought it was funny.

By pledging just $1 or $2, you are helping us

in our fervent quest to not have to do stuff.

If you pledge $10 or more, you will receive

this luxurious company micro badge.

It's called crowd funding...

using the Internet to raise money

without having to pay back your investors,

a tactic that some believe is unfair and impersonal.

Washington Redskins, go fuck yourself.

Sure! We'd be happy to take your money.

Yep, just go to our Kickstarter page.

Okay, nice, idiot. Uh-huh, fuck you, bye-bye.

You are Eric Cartman?

Yes, I know.

My name is Dan Snyder.

I'm the president and owner of the Washington Redskins.

Oh, cool. Please, take a seat.

Thank you, but I will stand.

Nice. I like that.

Young man, we ask that you please stop using the name

Washington Redskins for your organization.

Stop? But why?

Because we are the Washington Redskins

and we are a football team.

You have no right to use our name to get attention.

Uh, the trademark got pulled,

so I'm totally free to use the name, actually.

Uh, Butters, could you get that?

Washington Redskins, go fuck yourself.

Look, don't you see that when you call your organization

the Washington Redskins, it's offensive to us?

How is it offensive?

How is it offensive?! Jesus, what...

we are a proud team, Mr. Cartman.

We have no wish to be associated

with people who actively do nothing.

Makes us feel like a joke!

Guys, guys. We have total respect for you.

When we named our company Washington Redskins,

it was out of deep appreciation for your team and your people.

Uh, I know I can't legally make you stop using our name,

but... but won't you just do it out of decency?

N-N-N-No.

Because I don't want to,

and we can't just change the name of our company

'cause it's, like, super hard.

But, hey, from one Redskin to another, go fuck yourself.

All around the world, people are saying

they are inspired by the Washington Redskins.

The Internet start-up company has raised so much money

on Kickstarter that now more groups are doing the same.

More news on the Washington Redskins tonight.

Their defiant "F you" attitude

has now caught the attention of the terrorist group ISIS.

The terrorists said they admire the Washington Redskins

and want to try and follow their business model.

Well, let's not forget, Marsha,

that there's a people here, okay,

who are not happy about the use of the name...

the football Washington Redskins.

Well, yeah but does anyone really care about them?

Dude, this is so cool!

We only have six days to go before all the money

pledged to our company becomes liquid.

Guys, we need to talk to you.

I really don't think we want to be a company

that ISIS looks up to.

We should maybe issue a statement saying

that we don't sanction them.

Oh, no. No, you guys.

We started this company to do nothing.

If we start doing stuff now, it'll put it all at risk.

People aren't going to support our company

if we dig in our heels and say we don't care about anything.

Digging in our heels and pissing on public opinion

is what the Washington Redskins are all about!

Now, come on, guys!

If you want to be a successful business,

then you have to be honest about what you are.

Once you take a stand on something, you're pretending

like your company is about more than money.

Then all of a sudden, you're the NFL

and your players get caught molesting little boys!

That's the Catholic church!

NFL, Catholic church... same thing!

Okay, let's use the Catholic church.

You take a moral stand on issues,

you say you're about honor and integrity,

and the next thing you know, your clergymen are

getting caught beating up their wives in an elevator.

- That's the NFL. - It's the same thing, Kyle!

The point is, if we as an organization

claim to be about high morality, somebody is eventually

going to get raped or beaten in an elevator,

and it's most likely going to be Butters.

Oh, no!

All right, I really didn't want to have to do this, but...

I'm not happy with the direction this company is taking.

Well, what are you gonna do? Go back to school?