The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants

Meet George Beard and Harold Hutchins.

George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flattop.

Harold is the one on the right with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.

- Ew, what? - Remember that, now.

They are fourth graders at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School,

home of the Purple Dragon Sing-A-Long Friends,

where you might hear them described as...

Disruptive!

Bad attituded!

But we think of them as smart and sweet...

Know my rule: Please stay off the dirt.

...and a bit silly.

Silliness that can get them in a lot of trouble...

"Smell your own stinky feet"?

...with this guy, school principal Mr. Krupp.

- Did you call me? - No.

- Well, 'cause I thought I... - No!

Your mother called.

I'm in a meeting!

- We're cool! - Me too!

Blah, blah, blah, blah!

Tra-la-la!

Are... are we supposed to talk?

No! You're out there being a disturbance to the world

while you're supposed to be in P.E.!

Uh, we have a note from the doctor.

That note is from a vet!

I was feeling sheepish.

My dogs hurt.

I was... catatonic.

I felt eel.

My throat was "horse."

I was elephant.

- That doesn't really... - Yeah.

We apologize for the bad puns.

If you would like these seconds of your life back,

stuff marshmallows in your mouth.

Nothing will happen. But you got marshmallows.

Yeah.

Aha! Rule number 6,324.

"It is against the rules for any student to ride a water buffalo

or any type of bison to the..."

Wait.

Aha!

"Incomplete P.E. credits may be cause for indefinite Saturday detentions."

- You just wrote that in there! - P.E.!

But Mr. Meaner, the gym coach, doesn't like us.

Nobody likes you!

- We like us. - Me too.

Isn't there any possible thing we could possibly do

to possibly get out of P.E., possibly?

- Aah! - Heads up.

If you flabby flabs want to pass P.E.,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

...you will need to move the scale to "Pass P.E."

If you are unable to do so,

you...

...flabby flabs, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

could repeat gym for up to 22 years.

Twenty-two years more or total?

Hey! This is gym. No math.

Uh, I don't think we can stay in elementary school for 22 years.

Why not?

I did. And no math!

Okay, Erica, we'll start with you.

Mr. Meaner, while perusing the school's bylaws in an attempt to serve justice,

I find my extracurricular athletics,

aka modern dance class,

can and will exclude me from said proposed activities.

- I'm out. - All right, Jessica, you're up.

Actually, um, Mr. Meaner?

We are having the Festival of Good Har,

and my har is so good...

- "Har"? - Har.

- "Har"? - Har.

- Hair? - Har.

- "Har"? - Har.

- Hair? - Har.

- Hair! - Har.

Har.

I, like, have a note from my har stylist

- that I can't mess my har here. - Huh?

So... yeah.

Which way?

I guess that just leaves you three.

Those two, actually.

I will be leaving shortly.

You think you're pretty smart, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Don't ya, Sneedly? - Yes.

Melvin Sneedly, in fact, is very smart.

From a young age, Melvin displayed immense talent

at designing and building contraptions

that are actually beyond the reach of modern science.

But we're ignoring that.

He's also a snively grade-grubbing tattletale.

They got a frog!

I present the Pumpitupinator 2000.

For a better body.

Nice save, Melvin. We owe ya.

Get your filthy hands away!

Go, team.

With this, I will be able to accelerate

and protract muscular cell growth and produce...

Huh?

...produce...

...massive muscle strength.

Aah!

I'm free!

- Melvin! - Wait up!

Can we please use your Pumpitupinator to get out of P.E.?

No. Yesterday you ruined my presentation.

The Time Toad 2000 is able to leap back and forth in the space-time continuum.

And it is powered by a single element found only in...

peanut butter.

Peanut butter? Mmm.

The molecular basis of random change in gravitational impulse drive

engages forces previously unknown.

And now to add the peanut butter.

Huh.

How is... uh...

What?

Huh?

Didn't have breakfast.

We were hungry.

All right, flabby flabs!

Since the strength meter is broken...

- We can leave? - You can do laps.

Carrying Brunhilda.

- Please. - No.

Brunhilda was a couch so heavy,

it had been the scourge of students since forever.

Some say it contained the mummified bodies of the last 95 gym teachers,

going back some 400 years.

Others said it was just full of coins, which it was.

Ten laps around the gym and leave it...

Right where it is?

Ah, great idea, Mr. Meaner.

Uh, yeah, I thought so.

You did it again. No wonder you teach gym.

Yep. Now get to it!

Yep, yep, yep, yep. I'm refilling my drink.

This...

...is not gonna be easy.

Harold, we don't have to move it. It's already right where it started.

Right where it started? Oh!

Oh, oh, yeah.

In that case, good job.

In that case, George and Harold did what they always do

when they found a loophole or skirted some responsibility...

they made a comic book.

Once, there was a skinny guy named Flabby.

But he had a huge butt. And he loved it.

It was like his bestest friend. "I'm taking you for a walk!"

But he thought people with small butts were dumb and missing out.

"We're having lots of fun."

"No, you're missing out and dumb."

Even though Flabby was happy with his big butt,

people made fun of him, and they called him "Flabby Flabulous."

He liked that name and got T-shirts made, but nobody bought 'em.

That made him really mad, so he went around town,

and he crushed all T-shirt stores.

Then he crushed Captain Underpants' favorite underwear store,

and who was in it? Captain Underpants!

"You can't crush buildings! And especially underwear stores!"

And Flabby said, "Yes, I can, because I am!"

"Well, stop, Flabby Flabulous!"

Captain Underpants tried to fight him.

He couldn't even get past Flabby's big butt.

"I know what to do! I will give him a wedgie power."

Captain Underpants pulled a extra pair of underwear from his utility waistband.

"They are too small."

So he looked for something bigger to give him a wedgie.

Luckily, there was an underwear factory,

and their flagpole had a huge pair of underwear.

Captain Underpants was about to grab the underwear

when Flabby made a big fart.

Captain Underpants flew back to try again,

but Flabby blasted him right through the panels of the comic book.

Flabby didn't see him enter the next page, got surprised,

and Captain Underpants got Flabby stuck in a huge smokestack on a factory.

Flabby couldn't stop his fart, and finally, kaboom!

He launched into space and flew all the way to Uranus,

where the aliens there loved big butts and his was the biggest.

He was like a god.

And so he stayed. The end.

So good.

Let's go make copies.

But as George and Harold exited the gym,

Mr. Meaner came back with his leaky soup pot of soda.

Kids, don't drink soda from a leaky soup pot.

Gah!

You made me spill my drink!

- Can't even... - We didn't mean to.

Report to the yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, principal's office!

- But we... - Now!

Huh?

"Captain Underpants and the Frenzied Farts of Flabby Flabulous."

You know those people who can't take a joke?

So do we.

So, in my office two times in one day. That's...