The Closer

Angie, how else can I say it? I don't want lunch.

Yes you do.

No, I don't.

Synchro: ShalimarFox, Kiry

Come on.

Did anyone ever tell you you're a big old grouch?

You're the first.

At least you're a big old sexy grouch.

Come on. Please? They have pancakes here.

Angie!

I just killed your husband an hour ago.

I don't want pancakes.

So what?

Come on. You're gonna go on the run on an empty stomach?

Look, I own half a car dealership now.

I'm rich. I'll buy.

Are we getting all this?

If you're asking if I can do anything

about this truck noise in the background, i'm not a magician.

It's not going in a festival.

I was just asking if we were recording or not.

Really?

I can't decide what's more nauseating.

Her trying to kill her husband

or watching her come on to provenza.

Chief. We have guns. We can stop this.

And then we just wait for proof that he's dead.

Proof?

Proof?

Here's his wallet. The proof we agreed on.

Now, here. You take the wallet.

Now, you give me the $20,000.

No. No, I'll give you the money when

the cops call me and say that they found the body.

- Lt Flynn. - Already on it, chief.

- Hello? - Yes. Hello.

Is this ms. Anush Serabian?

It's Angie Serabian. Yeah.

Yes, this is lieutenant Flynn of the L.A.P.D.

- It's a cop. - Don't say where you are.

- Hi - Hi. Are you sitting down, ma'am?

No, no. Actually, I'm standing,

in a parking lot in Bakersfield.

Listen, I'm sorry to have to tell you this,

but your husband was shot

in an apparent robbery, and he's dead.

Oh!

Oh! Oh, no!

Oh, my god! I don't believe it!

Okay. Okay.

Now, give me the money.

All right. Don't be so pushy.

Now,

that's what i'm talking about, Angie.

Money is exchanged.

And so ends another Provenza date.

George, y... you're really gonna call me, right?

Oh, Angie, baby.

I promise.

You have not seen the last of me.

George. Cut it out.

Angie Serabian, you're under arrest for the attempted murder of Alex Serabian.

Hands on the car.

- What are you talking about? - You have the right to remain silent.

If you refuse to remain silent, anything you say

can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Get your hands off me! Stop it!

Ms. Serabian, I'm deputy chief Brenda Leigh Johnson of the L.A.P.D.

Let me tell you something.

I'm not here to kill anyone. I'm here on a date.

You tell them, George!

Thank you. Thank you.

Hold the applause. I'm here all week.

You lied to me!

He... He didn't tell me he was lying,

so you can't arrest me.

Ms. Serabian, sign this waiver,

or I'll be forced to leave you in bakersfield,

and it'll be at least a week until you're arraigned in LA.

- I'm not signing anything. - Angie,

sign the waiver, sweetie pie.

And I tell you what. We'll drive back together,

and I'll even throw in a nice, romantic lunch.

You sure it's not gonna be too hot in there?

What? Melt the videotape? Nah.

Here.

- This is not your property! - I need the wallet.

Oh, please. Not with that stupid thing again.

Listen, all my evidence is in here,

and I'm taking no chances.

- You know what I can tell about you? - What?

- You hate women. - No. Just you.

- Come on. - You're pinching my arm again.

- Here we go. - No seas una bitch!

Who are you calling a bitch for?

Tu perra!

Rosie, you been riding us all day, girl. Chill out.

And now you're taking his side? Whatever, man.

Yeah, I'm gonna take his side, perra. Get used to it.

I'm not even hungry anymore.

I can't believe you lied to me, George.

George didn't lie to you, Angie. I did.

- And my name isn't george. - Well, what is it, then?

Lieutenant.

You know, you need to quit laughing and judging me.

I was in a really bad marriage.

Listen, sweetie.

Between us, we've been stuck in six bad marriages.

We just didn't choose to murder our way out.

Though I understand the urge.

I bet your wife never cut up your credit cards

or made you feel like a cheap prostitute.

Or made you dance naked in front of your A.A. Friends.

Your husband let you have credit cards?

What's gonna happen to me, George?

Oh. Angie, it's not gonna be that bad.

You'll be off to parker center. You'll like that.

They're gonna take your picture, they're gonna

fingerprint you, and they're gonna book you.

I mean, who knows?

Be a gas.

What's gonna happen to me after that?

Then we give the surveillance tape

and the 20 grand over to the D.A.

Do you really think you have enough evidence to put me in jail?

Are you serious?

Once the jury sees the evidence that we have in that car,

you're out of here. Am I right?

- Now what did you lose? - Cellphone.

I left it in the car.

You know, you should be really worried about your friend George.

I mean, I had to tell him three times where to find my husband.

Don't worry about him. That guy's at the top of his game.

Look, you got to order something off the menu,

because starting tomorrow, it's gonna be nothing but powdered eggs and burritos.

Do you think all the evidence was in the car?

Every bit of it.

Oh, my god.

Maybe I should call the cops.

The real cops, right?

Too bad for you... And great for me!

Am I sorry that we ruined your afternoon off?

You betcha.

But, chief, if I tried,

I mean, I couldn't count the number of things

that went right today.

Start with the things that didn't,

like how you lost the evidence we need

to prosecute an open-and-shut case of attempted murder!

Brenda, the evidence isn't lost.

It's just... Out for a joyride.

I don't need sarcasm. I need the evidence.

Don't look at me, the FBI stopped manufacturing evidence in the late'90s.

Chief, have we suffered a setback?

Unquestionably.

But even if, God forbid, even if

we never find the video or the money...

Or my car...

Angie serabian can still be prosecuted.

He's right.

With a little finesse, Angie could confess.

You must have a little more faith than I do

in the lieutenant's... Charisma.

How could you do this to me?!

- I don't know what... - How could you do this to me?!

For 25 years, I give you everything.

A house, a car, new tits.

And this is how you pay me back?!

You bitch! You're a....

Commander, what is going on here?!

Mr. Serabian wanted to retrieve his wallet

and meet the arresting detectives.

Up till now, I had no idea

about this afternoon's complications.

Is that... my shirt?

You give him my lucky dice shirt?

Do you see the mother you have?

Commander, please remove Mr. Serabian and his family this instant!

Wait!

You, in my shirt

How much money did she give you to kill me?

$20,000.

Where did you get that kind of money, except by stealing it from me?

Oh, my god. I don't know anything about any money or...

Or any attempted murder, either.

Ms. Serabian, my entire squad saw you

give lieutenant provenza here an envelope of cash

'cause you thought he murdered your husband.

And as soon as I know where you got that money,

i'm gonna be halfway to convicting you.

Ms. Chief...

Perhaps if you could give my brother his wallet,

we could all go home now?

Yeah.

Look, Mr. Serabian,

we want to thank you for giving us your wallet

to assist in the arrest of your wife.

Unfortunately, it was stolen,

along with all the other evidence,

so you... You might want