Young & Hungry

Great news! Our couch problem is solved!

What couch problem?

Uh, the one that's got your knees up higher

than when you're getting a pap smear.

So, Logan's remodeling her condo, and she's giving me her old couch!

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God...

- Help me up so I can be excited. - Okay.

We're getting a new couch!

- And the best part is... - How can there be better parts?

It's a-comin a-right a-now!

- Oh, my God, do you love it? - Oh, my God, I hate it!

What? Why?

It's hideous.

It looks like the product of years of couch incest.

It's a-goin' a-back a-now!

It's not going anywhere.

Do you understand that Logan is my boss?

What if she comes over and the couch isn't here?

What if anyone else comes over and the couch is here?

Gabi... Logan picked me out of everyone in the office

to give the couch to. Sending it back would be a slap in her face.

But I don't want it!

Well,

I mean, I don't wanna be an assistant my entire life.

And when it comes time for a promotion,

who do you think'll get it? The girl who rudely gave back the couch,

or the girl who kept the couch,

because it reflects on her boss' kindness and good taste?

So you really think that... this couch

is, uh... gonna get you a promotion?

'Cause you know, that's really not how it works, Sofia.

Oh, Gabi, that's exactly how it works.

Before this, Logan and I had nothing in common.

Now we have the couch. So, whenever we're alone,

or in the bathroom, or there's a lull in conversation, she'll be like,

"How's the couch?"

And I'll be like, "Oh, my God! We love it!"

And she'll be like, "I knew you would. You want a promotion?"

And that, my friend, is how it works.

Okay, if it's that important to you, I guess we'll keep the couch,

- but just know that I hate it! - Thank you!

And one more thing, and you might not be interested in this, but, um...

there is a matching ottoman.

Okay... what's goin' on in here?

I'm makin' freakin' fudge.

Well, why make fudge when you could have this white chocolate?

Ugh!

Come on, we haven't used the punch card in a week.

Which means I... had to punch myself.

All right, here's something that'll...

keep you from thinkin' about sex.

Ugh. What is that?

That's a couch.

Digesting another couch?

Sofia's boss dumped her crappy couch on us.

Oh! Well, you're in luck.

I just developed this new app for called "Crap4Cash."

Hey... that's great,

I have a ton of crap and I need a ton of cash.

Everyone does, Gabi.

But what does everybody hate?

Meeting the creep who bought your crap.

That's why I developed an anonymous delivery service

that shows up so you don't have to meet the creep...

who bought your crap.

- Oh, my God! That's genius! - Give me your phone,

- I'll put your couch on there. - No... I wish, but I can't sell it.

Well, you don't have to accept any bids.

I'll just show you how it works, give me your phone.

Oh... fudge!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait... What are you doing?

Today is our first weigh-in at Fat Fighters.

Yeah, well, we're not there yet.

So, let me get this straight, you're taking the thing

with the most fat in it to a diet center?

No, I'm also taking Yolanda.

- What was that? - That's the sound the app makes

when someone bids on your crap.

Someone just offered you 500.

Dollars?

Oh, my God, that's with the photo?

650!

My God, are you kidding me? No, no, I can't sell it,

I promised Sofia I wouldn't.

- Eight hund-oh! - Sold!

Oh, my God... that's the rabbi from your wedding!

Oh, Rabbi Shapiro.

- Let's go say hi. - Oh... Hell, no!

Uh... I never told you this...

but we hooked up on your wedding night.

You slept with him?

Haven't the Jews suffered enough?

Shut up! We were dating for a while,

then suddenly he stopped calling.

I have no idea what happened.

I do. You let him see you naked.

Right, I'm outta here.

Oh, really? So you have no desire to rekindle with the rabbi?

You're damn right I don't.

Although he does look cute in that rabbi sweater.

Hello, everybody. I am Ben Shapiro,

a rabbi and a Fat Fighter counselor.

I went from wandering around the desert to wondering, "Where's dessert?

He still makes me laugh.

- Today's topic... emotions. - _

Instead of eating our feelings,

we have to learn to express it. Let it out!

Why the hell you stop calling me?

Yolanda?

How are you?

Hey!? Hey! You can't eat that!

Fatty says what?

That's like 20 points!

Oh! This is actually fat-free fudge!

Want some, honey?

Oh, my God!

Do you know how long I've been looking

for a fat-free dessert that actually tastes good?

Judging from your Cosby sweater, I'd say since the '90s.

Where did get this? I would pay a fortune for it.

Well, you would have to. Because it's very, very hard to find.

Name your price, my husband's rich.

You're married?

I had to break it off because there was no future.

Being with a non-Jewish woman would break my mother's heart.

But you know what? And I don't mind saying this

in front of the entire group.

After seeing you again, and feeling,

the way I feel right now,

I am reminded of those very poignant words,

you must not let anyone define your limits

because of where you come from.

Your only limit... is your soul.

- Was that Gandhi? - Ratatouille.

Ooh, Sofia!

- I have a huge surprise. - Me, too!

Okay, mine's more of a visual, so I'll go first.

Logan's coming over for dinner to see the couch!

- What? - Yeah.

So get this, we were in the bathroom, and for the first time ever,

there were no uncomfortable silences.

Why? Because we talked about the couch!

And I was like, "Do you wanna come over and see the couch?"

And she was all, "Sure, I'd love to."

And... so now, she's coming over for dinner with me and the couch,

which means the promotion can't be far off.

What's your surprise?

Gabi, where's the couch?

So, surprise.

Uh... where's the couch?

Um... I turned it into $800.

- You sold the couch? - I didn't mean to.

Well, get it back!

That might not be exactly possible,

because I sold it on Josh's new app, "Crap4Cash,"

where everything you sell is anonymous.

So you never have to meet the creep

who bought your crap!

I cannot believe you, I told you that this was my ticket in!

Into what?

Into... a promotion!

Do you listen to anything I say?

Like... do you even know that I wanna be a writer?

I do now.

Oh, my God! How am I even friends with you?

- Why am I even friends with you? - I don't understand why you're getting

- so mad, I do bad stuff all the time! - This isn't... it's...

this isn't like any other time, Gabi, this is about my career!

As a writer!

Gabi, I told you how important this was to me and... and...

now I may never get a promotion, and not only that,

come Monday, I might not even have a job.

- Sofia, I'm really sorry. - Oh, my God, Gabi,

you are always sorry. You're always sorry.

How many more times are you gonna be sorry?

One more.

That was rhetorical.

Rhetorical. Hey, that's a good word for a writer.

I'm done.

We can still get the ottoman!

- Ohhh... you know, - Ohhh...

I never thought I'd be on a date at a Fat Fighters clinic!

Well, I was gonna take you to a nice restaurant,

but I know how difficult it is to dine out

when you start a new program.

Ohhh... and who knew

you were such an amazing cook.

I mean... that five-point stuffing

was mother-stuffing delicious!

Thank you.

So how'd you end up workin' here anyway?

Well, about a month ago, I was napping on my mom's couch,

and it sorta kinda broke under my weight.

Oh, well, you won't break me, baby.

Promise?

Oh.

Oh, it's my mom.

Should I send it to voice mail?

Yeah, I'm gonna send that to voicemail.

- Come here. - Ooh.