The Flintstones

Wilma, where are you?

I'm here, Fred, under the bed.

- Under the bed? - That's what I said.

Did the big bad prowler scare you?

I forgot my loot.

The prowler!

Fred, you'd better hurry, or you'll be late for work.

I'm hurrying.

I'll be with you as soon as I shave.

Fred, it would be nice if you were ready just once...

-when Barney comes to pick you up. - I'm ready.

- Where's breakfast? - It's ready.

Three-and-a-half hours soft-boiled dodo egg coming up.

And don't leave half of it as usual.

Just get me my toast and maybe I can leave.

- What was that? - Search me?

Sounds like it came from Barney's house.

Anything could come from Barney's house.

Step on it, Fred, we're going to be late.

Hold it, Barney.

What's going on at your house?

Like, meaning what?

Like, meaning that, that's what.

- Oh, that. That's Betty. - That's Betty?

Sure, she's taking judo lessons.

Judo lessons? What for?

What's with you, Fred, don't you read the papers?

"Citizens warned to be on lookout for phantom burglar."

- So, why the judo? - A woman's gotta protect herself.

What about you?

She'll protect me, too.

Oh, boy.

It's getting late, fellas.

Yeah, let's get going.

Wait till the fellas down at work get a load of this.

Barney's wife taking judo lessons to protect him.

Wilma, better hurry up. They're waiting for you.

Okay.

They're waiting for what?

And who's they?

They is Betty and Professor Rockimoto...

and they are waiting for me.

Hold it.

You are not taking judo lessons.

That is final, clear, and once and for all, no.

What's wrong with trying to protect myself?

- What about me? - I'll protect you, too.

Yeah, Fred, wait till the guys at work hear about your wife...

taking judo lessons to protect you.

Out!

Is Wilma there?

Hi, Betty, I thought it would be you. Listen, the judo lessons are out.

- No. - It's no judo lesson.

You know it's not the lessons, it's the money.

That's for sure.

Wait till he finds out I already paid for the first lesson.

You might as well take it. The Professor's still here.

And I don't think he's the refund type.

That for sure.

Maybe one lesson is all you need.

No, I guess you'll need more.

- So very sorry. - So is she.

Save me a seat, I'll be back in a minute.

So, now you are ready for lesson number one.

Ready but not willing.

Here we go.

One thing about judo, you take a polite beating.

- Does it hurt? - Only when I'm sitting.

What hurts more is that I paid for 10 lessons.

That for sure.

That for very dang sure.

- Hiya, Fred. - Hop in, Barney.

- Sounds like you need new brakes. - You can say that again.

Look at the paper. How about that.

How about what?

"Prowler strikes again.

"Burglar proves too elusive for police."

You don't have to worry.

Your wife is gonna protect you with judo.

Yeah, she's doing real good, too. She's taking her fifth lesson today.

Fifth lesson? You mean you're still letting her take lessons?

- And what's wrong with that? - What's wrong with it?

It's going to cost me money, that's what's wrong with it.

- Cost you money? - Indubitably.

I might go so far as to say in-double-dubitably.

If you let Betty have judo lessons, next she'll be taking up jai alai...

then free-for-all wrestling, next the bongo drums.

How many times can I say no?

- I'm asking you. - So it's all my fault?

Certainly, it's your fault.

You start learning to say no, and we'll all be ahead.

You heard me tell Wilma...

no judo lessons, that's final, clear...

and once and for all, no judo lessons.

Greetings.

Greetings, neighbor.

Ready for honorable lesson number five?

Ready, honorable neighbor.

There's nothing to it. I get a stranglehold on your sleeve...

and I toss you onto that pile of pillows over there.

You mean that itty-bitty pile of pillows way over there?

Fred isn't going to like this.

Relax, he won't care. I'm giving you my lessons free.

- I don't think I'm going to like it either. - Here goes.

You missed.

I missed? Who threw who?

It doesn't make any difference.

Prowlers aren't supposed to land on pillows.

- Now she tells me. - Okay, now it's your turn.

You mean I throw you?

- I'm going to like that. - Now, I'm a prowler.

I pick the lock on this door. You hear it.

Your heart's pounding with excitement.

You see the prowler's hand reaching inside.

Reaching, reaching.

- What do you do? - I scream for Fred.

That won't do you any good. Fred's under the bed.

- What else do you do? - I faint. That's what else.

- No. - What else is there?

You grab his arm and you give him what I just gave you.

Free judo lesson number five.

What a time to start teaching anybody.

Okay, I'll pretend I'm the prowler. I'll go outside.

When I open the door, you grab my arm and you flip me across the room.

Now remember your lesson.

Okay, I grab his arm...

I apply free lesson number five.

- Let me know when you're ready. - Just a minute, I'm thinking.

- Hiya, Betty. - Hello, Fred.

Made good time tonight. Traffic was light.

- By the way, Barney's starving. - He is?

I better head home and get his dinner.

Wilma. Fred, no!

You're home early, Fred.

You've been taking judo lessons.

What did you say?

I didn't say anything. I'm thinking.

It's either the lawn mower, or I can hear you thinking.

And I know what you're thinking.

And I still think it's okay for a woman to take judo lessons.

I don't. It's a waste of money, and it's a waste of time talking to you.

At least I don't have to hide under the bed if the prowler shows up!

- Who said I did? - Wilma told Betty.

She heard a noise and tried to get under the bed.

And she couldn't. You were there first.

All right, smart guy, let's see who gets under the bed tonight.

I'll prove to you you're wasting your money.

Like how?

After you've gone to bed, I'll sneak in, dressed like a burglar.

Then what do you think your wife will do?

She'll say, "Hello, Fred, why steal it?

"Just borrow it as usual."

All right, funny man...

if she doesn't scream for help and jump under the bed...

I'll pay for the judo lessons. Okay? Is that a bet?

It's a bet.

I'd be less than a husband if I didn't stand behind my wife.

With her judo lessons, it's the safest place to be.

Good night, Fred.

Where's my ear plugs?

A real sneaky exit, if I say so myself.

The masked prowler strikes again.

Now we'll see who screams and jumps under the bed.

What is this?

Two of us working the same neighborhood?

I'd better practice some prowler routines before I go in.

Let's see. All right, you guys, I've got you covered.

Don't move a muscle or I'll blast you, see.

I don't believe it.

I must be having hallucinations.

What is this, anyway, amateur night?

A couple of screwy faces ought to send her under the bed in a hurry.

Like...

I'm going to report that guy to the prowlers union.

Next thing you know he'll try something unethical...

like going in the front door.