Forgetting the Girl

If you're watching this, you've discovered something you shouldn't have.

Anyway, um...

This... This is a close-up of a model's eye.

Yeah. I can't remember her name to save my life,

but she had the bluest eyes I've ever seen.

The only other time I remember seeing this exact intensity of blue...

was the day my sister drowned.

It was everywhere.

It was in the water, in the sky, Nicole's skin.

Blue. I remember.

And gold.

The gold of the light off the surface of the water.

Like an empty frame flashing onto the screen.

Nicole.

She's the one girl I keep trying to remember.

But I... I think she's the problem.

I think she's the reason I am the way I am, right?

Maybe I should back up and try to explain what the hell happened here.

Jesus Christ. What the hell did happen here?

Um...

Well, let's start with me.

My name is Kevin Wolfe.

I'm a studio photographer.

I do head shots, and most of my clients are girls.

Girls.

They've sort of been the focus of my whole fucking life.

They're sort of a problem for me.

I've just been trying to find a way to forget all the bad experiences...

and try to have at least one good one, so...

every girl that comes into this studio...

every actress, every model...

I ask out.

Would you like to see a movie?

And they almost always say...

No.

And so, I do this forgetting thing.

It's like a ritual.

I mean, I know it sounds weird, but you gotta do something positive...

to cancel out the negative experiences, right?

Um, for instance,

I forgot Theresa by going to Coney Island.

And before Theresa there was Carrie,

who decided to stand me up at the movies.

Forgot her by watching every single episode of Lost on DVD.

And then, uh...

Then there was Sheila.

She was a real girl, you know?

Not like most actresses... not fake.

Although she does look really overdone here.

My assistant Jamie,

she sometimes went a little crazy with the makeup.

Anyway, I remember asking... Are you single?

Um, I'm only 19.

Oh.

Um, do you have a... a boyfriend?

Oh, no. No, I don't.

Maybe we could go to a-a movie sometime?

Uh...

Sure.

Yeah. Uh, sure. Um...

I... I like movies.

A lot of girls have a hard time saying no,

especially if they're from Iowa or some fucking place.

It's like they're trying to be polite all the time.

But, anyway, she called the day we were supposed to go out...

and she said she'd forgotten about other plans.

Some relative was in from out of town, I think, or something, blah, blah, blah.

I forgot her by going to the newsstand.

Flipping through the fashion magazines,

the pictures of the skinny supermodels,

the emaciated and beautiful.

And then, uh, there are the ones who are not so easy to forget...

because they are the ones who said...

Yes.

Okay.

This looks great. Thanks.

It's a great smile.

Have you done a lot of acting?

I mean, theater or...

Um, a few years ago, I went on some auditions.

And then I met this guy,

and... now I'm a hostess.

But I'm planning on getting back into it.

How old are you?

How old am I?

Why do you want to know how old I am?

Where'd you grow up?

Who said I ever grew up?

Oh.

Well, where'd you go to school?

You know, usually, how this works is that I'm usually the one asking questions.

Oh.

What are you doing tonight?

What am I doing?

Do you want to go out with me, Kevin?

Oh, like what? Like a movie?

I was thinking more like a bar.

Okay.

Kevin.

I had a bad dream.

Oh, my God.

- Good morning. - Are you taking pictures of me?

Taking one picture. Here.

See? You look beautiful.

Not likely. Yeah, you do.

Oh, God.

What time is it?

Oh, my God.

I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me.

Get the wrong idea?

What wrong idea?

Um...

Yeah. I mean, I can't believe that I, like...

Listen, I'm not, uh...

I'm not the type of person that just wants to...

Uh, fuck.

Listen, I know that... I know that I really don't know you at all, Adrienne.

I can't even think of your last name at the moment.

But... And it's safe to say that you don't know me,

but...

I really feel that we made this...

this connection.

Right?

Uh, a connection? Yeah.

I mean, you're here, I'm here,

and I just feel like there's this... there's a spark.

I mean, what I want, really, is just...

I just want a girl, you know?

I mean, I'm just a guy. I mean, I'm not, like, a fashion photographer.

It's nothing glamorous. I just do head shots, you know...

300 a digital set, prints are extra.

It's the deal I gave you, essentially. Yeah.

Um, hey, listen.

Yesterday was, like, a really, um, weird day for me.

So...

Mmm. Yeah.

Okay.

Sh... Coffee? Do you want coffee?

I could go down to the corner... No, thanks.

No, thanks.

You have to go to work?

Work. Yeah, I do. Work.

Can I, um... Can I call you sometime?

Um, did I give you my number?

Oh. Wow.

Uh, yeah, you gave it to Jamie on the card...

so that I could call you when the pictures were ready. Oh! Right, right.

Awkward. Okay.

Thanks!

Fuck. Fucking fuck.

I am such a fucking idiot. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I can't believe how stupid I am.

No idea how to talk to people... girls in particular.

Hi. I really think we had this connection, right?

Hi! We have a connection. I really think, uh...

Stupid. I'm so fucking stupid. I'm stupid.

I'm such a fucking moron. I'm such a fucking dumb-ass piece of shit.

Fucking brain...

Hey.

Hi.

Do you wanna go camping?

Uh, Derek and me were...

Derek and I are going camping, and we want you to go.

And I was thinking you could do some of your nature photography.

You know, if you don't want to, that is totally fine.

Please tell me you're kidding, right?

Yeah. I was kidding. You're kidding.

Yeah. I got you. You got me.

I'm going to go set up now. Okay.

Do you have any pictures to show me?

Nah.

You never show me your pictures.

They're just girls.

They're just... head shots.

They're boring, Ruby. They'd bore you.

Girls are nice.

You wouldn't like 'em. Trust me, Ruby.

You wouldn't like any of 'em.

They're not dirty pictures, are they?

Come on.

I've seen those magazines. I know what all kinds of pictures they have out there.

They're not dirty. You're taking dirty pictures!

You are crazy, Ruby. You are a crazy old woman.

You shouldn't call me Ruby. You should call me Grandma.

Ruby, can I see the pictures of Nicole?

She wasn't supposed to be called "Nicole," you know,

because that was your mother's name.

I know.

But when she died, we thought it was fitting.

Just a newborn baby, and a little girl and all.

Such a pretty little baby.

It was fitting she should have your mother's name.

Oh, your mother...

I guess it was just one of those things.

They said they couldn't have known.

And I thought I could console myself with little Nicole.

You're all I've got left.

Fuck.

It's not that you're a bad guy or anything.

I mean, you seem like you're really nice.