The Closer

The Closer 7x03 To Serve With Love Original Air Date on July 25, 2011

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

Flynn!

- Flynn! - What?

What?

Come on. Come on.

Come here.

How'd you like to make a quick 2,000 bucks, cash?

No, thanks.

Anything that begins with you whispering

always ends with other people shouting.

Flynn, Flynn, I'm telling you -- this is free money.

There's this lawyer.

He -- he has some papers to serve,

and he just needs a couple of great detectives

to find some guy.

And what do we have to work with?

Ah, well, a cellphone number.

But we've found people with less.

I don't know how to track someone's cellphone. Do you?

Oh, sorry to interrupt. 'Night, Lieutenants.

W-wait, wait, Buzz!

Wait. Wait. Buzz --

you know...

...We were just talking about you.

How'd you like to make a little extra dough?

Turn right here.

I'd really appreciate if you'd stay in one lane.

And you could speed up a little. There's a guy right behind us.

Would you relax?

For using your car and tracking a cellphone,

we're giving you 1/3 of our take -- 200 bucks.

Is what we're doing even legal?

Look -- we're law enforcement, and we're doing it.

So that makes it legal.

And the Chief okayed this?

We'll get her signature tomorrow.

Or maybe we don't even tell her.

She's got enough on her mind.

These papers that we got from the attorney --

they say this guy's name is Steven Hirschbaum.

Sound familiar, huh?

Oh, there you go.

Uh, just leave it right here, would you?

So, what, are you Bill Gates now?

What's $20 when you're making, uh, $200?

I got this one.

715.

7-1-- ah!

Ready?

Who is it?

Room service.

I didn't order any room service.

Uh, complimentary champagne, sir.

Oh, well, that's different.

I -- hey, what is this?

Steven Hirschbaum, you've been served.

What?

Think we can get that pose one more time?

- Yeah. Nice, big smile. - Uh --

Oh, no, guys. Uh, you think I'm somebody else.

I'm not the guy you're looking for.

Yeah, well, tell it to the judge, huh?

Here's one for your scrapbook.

Oh, no, no, no.

Guys -- guys, you're making a huge mistake, really.

I got a bad feeling about this.

Don't go. I'm scared.

We're out of here.

You see how easy that was, huh?

Was I right, or was I right?

Okay, you were right.

Now let's go back to the lawyer,

get our cash, and just call it a night.

Darn it. My taillight -- it's broken.

Well, I didn't do that. You could have.

You were driving like a crazy person.

And my insurance isn't gonna cover this

because my deductible's $1,000.

You know what? I'm documenting this.

What the...

It's him. Hirschbaum committed suicide.

Suicide? What, are you kidding me?

He's got multiple gunshot wounds in his back.

Oh, my God! My car!

Oh, relax, Buzz.

I know an amazing guy in Koreatown.

He'll buff this right out.

No! No, no, no. You can't call this in.

Nobody knows we're here.

There's a dead man on my car.

Well, we didn't put him there.

Oh, all right, all right.

Call Gabriel and the guys,

but there is no need to bother the Chief.

This is totally containable.

Hey, what did you want us to do, Gabriel?

We're off-duty, and we don't have our guns.

He fell from up there down to here?

Yeah, back dive and a half-twist.

And would you believe

the Russian judge only gave him an 8.5?

Gabriel, Gabriel, look -- I know what you're thinking.

Um -- "What is a murder victim

doing on Buzz's car in the first place?"

Well, simple -- we were taking Buzz to dinner,

like we do every week.

Then, out of nowhere, there was shots.

Thank God the car was here.

Could you imagine what this guy would look like

if he'd landed on the pavement?

Or on us. I mean, we could all be dead.

No guns, but I got three casings,

a subpoena, a cellphone,

and an I.D. belonging to a Steven Hirschbaum.

So, you don't know the victim at all,

and the first time you saw him is when he landed on Buzz's car?

Hey, guys, check this out.

Oh. Get --

Oh. I guess we did see him before.

Who's gonna call the Chief?

No one. You hear me? Nobody's gonna call the Chief!

She does not need to know about this.

I'm not so sure about that. Ohh.

Can someone please explain how Steven Hirschbaum,

a guy convicted in a massive federal fraud trial,

ends up dead on Buzz's car five days before his sentencing?

Agent Howard --

Fritz --

Fritzie...

Now, tell me --

what can we do to keep this just between ourselves?

Your victim burned through corporate cash

like it was Monopoly money,

then moved company pension funds into offshore accounts,

which we still haven't found.

Steven Hirschbaum -- we -- we thought that name was familiar.

Chief, I was -- no!

I do not want to talk to you now, Lieutenant.

In addition to, um, criminal penalties,

isn't there some giant civil suit against him?

Yeah, former employees and investors

are trying to recover whatever's out there.

Look -- the whole thing was a mess.

Probably just got a lot worse.

Detective, will you please see

if any of the plaintiffs suing Mr. Hirschbaum

had ever threatened him or had a history of violent offenses?

Me? Chief, there's got to be like 700-plus people in this lawsuit.

Then I'd get started.

It also says here

that Mr. Hirschbaum had a wife and daughter?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, please make sure that they're notified, Lieutenant.

Yes, Chief. Thank you.

Now...

How is it that you two just happened to be

directly underneath the victim when he plummeted to his death?

Well, first, uh, Chief,

I was wondering if I could get your signature right here.

That's an authorization for outside employment.

Uh, yes, yes.

You see, last night I got a phone call

from a lawyer -- Owen Doyle.

He's one of the attorneys suing your victim.

Doyle just had a cell number on Hirschbaum,

and he needed somebody to find him to serve him this subpoena.

And how did you find him with only his cellphone number?

Uh, we...Triangulated his location.

By using, uh, the Catfish.

You don't know how to use that.

Buzz does.

With Captain Raydor conducting a transparency audit

of this entire division,

you thought it was a brilliant idea

to use one of our civilian techs

to track a private citizen without a warrant?!

Well, I wouldn't say "brilliant."

You posed with him?

Well, we had to have proof of service.

Oh, the video is a whole lot better.

You made a video?!

Well, Buzz was already there.

All right. That's it.

I've heard enough.

Detective, please find this lawyer Doyle

and have him brought in immediately.

One other thing -- as far as we know,

only the FBI knew that Hirschbaum was at the hotel.

Either the killer also triangulated

his unlisted cellphone -- highly unlikely -- or --

you're suggesting that we led the killer to the hotel?

That's insane.

Dr. Morales: Chief? Uh --

you'll want to take a look.

As I suspected, death was caused by a .45-caliber bullet,

which pierced his pericardium, instantly stopping his heart.

But the real surprise --

well, the fact that his name was given to me as "Hirschbaum"

proved to be something of a...Tip-off.