Star Vehicle

Fuck.

Every time, man.

Why doesn't he just leave the goddamned door unlocked.

Fucking idiot.

Shitty taste in music, too.

Yo, Serpico, open the fucking door, man.

Wake up, Mother fucker.

There he is.

About fucking time.

What the fuck is wrong with you.

Thank you.

Sorry to interrupt your wet dream.

then you can go back to dreaming about pussy.

D-D-D D is for drive mother fucker.

Turn that shit down.

Finally, the nightmare is over.

Stop ADR schedule.

No more flat rates.

I mean it this time.

I need to get in the fucking union.

If you add up all the hours I've been working

divided by whatever the fuck it is,

I'm making minimum wage at best.

I bet this driver's making morning than all of us.

And to do what?

Eat up the craft table.

Useless as tits on a ball.

WOMAN (LAUGHING): That's right.

Hey, how much you make a day driving this piece of shit?

You in the Teamsters Union'?

Hey, hey, you know who killed Jimmy Hoffa?

Yeah, yeah, you know where he's buried and shit, man?

You know who did it, don't you mother fucker?

Whoa!

Fuck.

Shit, man!

What the fuck, Randy Savage?

Why are trying to be retarded with you, man?

Fuck!

Fucking piece of shit.

That's not fucking funny.

Where the fuck are you going, man?

Why did you fucking turn off the vehicle?

Yo, get the fuck back here.

Get in the fucking vehicle!

Yo, what happened, man?

What the fuck?

What is he fucking down'?

Turn the fucking van... What the fuck, man?

You, out!

This is bullshit, man.

Now.

Stop!

You don't... fuck off, man.

You don't want to do this.

This is fucked.

Don't, man.

This is fucked, man.

What the fuck'? - I'm serious.

Stop.

Don't! Fuck!

Move! Go, go!

What the fuck?

What the fuck, man?

I'm serious.

Just put the gun down, man!

I'm serious.

Don't do this.

This is fucked up, man!

What the fuck?

What the fuck, man?

Don't, man!

You don't want to fucking do this, man!

What is that, man?

This is fucked, man! Stop!

Hey, buddy.

How's it going?

Sick.

Sick and tired, that's how it's going.

Yeah.

Same shit, man.

Same shit here.

You know how much I've made so far in tips today?

No. No.

I have no idea.

And you know what?

The suspense is fucking killing me.

So please, tell me.

I made a deuce.

A goddamn fucking deuce.

So what'?

You're making hourly, right'?

Well, anything on top of that's gravy.

Do you think that I get tipped for driving?

Do you?

I don't make jack.

Nothing!

Hey, what the hell are you doing, man?

Listen.

I've been really thinking.

You and me, we work well together.

We could be a team.

You know?

Come on.

Listen, I was thinking that maybe you could

just put in a good word for me.

You know?

I'd be fucking awesome at what you do.

Hey, look, kid.

You've got to get the hell out of my van.

First, I got talent coming any second.

Secondly, nobody, and I mean nobody,

sits in the front of my van!

Listen, man, I just thought we were on the same boat.

You know?

We work with the same people, right?

Get the fuck out of my van.

NOW!

Move it!

Look here, piss ant.

Don't you dare compare yourself to me!

You're a monkey in a fucking suit.

I'm in the movies.

You watch them, I make them.

That's the difference.

You call me buddy like you know me.

You don't know me.

Now, do your job and open my door.

If you want a tip... move faster.

Morning!

It looks like it's going to be a sunny day.

Yep.

Should be a warm one.

Do you know who that is?

Are you asking me or are you going to tell me?

That's Riversa Red.

Sounds like a stripper.

No, no, no.

She's a scream queen.

She's the scream queen.

I've got all her movies.

Lovely.

She's not on here, though.

Weird.

No mention at all.

How cool is this.

See you around, lodgeboy.

You know, I'm really going for something fresh.

Something with an edge with my signature written all over it.

I mean, now I can show the world what I can do with real actors

on... on a real set.

I got no doubt this... This will be epic.

Epically straight to video.

Excuse me?

Did you say something?

Oh, I... I'm just trying to figure out what

I might have seen of yours.

Your name's not really familiar to me,

and I'm kind of a movie buff.

Enough to know a slasher in the woods ain't nothing new.

It's an homage.

My love letter to the horror genre.

Now, there is a big difference between giving a friendly nod

to the masterpieces of horror and just

ripping them off out right.

You say you're a movie buff'?

Well, then you know our leading lady here, wouldn't you'?

Riversa Red.

Real name Susan Riley.

Born Victoria, BC, July 1 Canada Day 1982.

First feature "Satan Knows Best," alternate title.

" Bloody Sacrilege Massacre."

Miss Red's been in over 100 cult and horror films

and won scream queen of the sinema... that's with an S

not a C... five times.

Yeah.

You've made your point.

She also broke her ankle on "Slashed to Ribbons"

and to date has trouble with running

scenes due to said injury.

All right, enough already.

Can you believe this guy?

Her last film, "Thong Massacre, Flossed to Death,"

is quite controversial due to the full frontal nudity

misery on display.

It's quite a scene.

It also divided her fan base.

Some saying it was borderline pornographic.

Aw, come on.

It's not like I haven't shown my kitty before.

Yeah.

Your stalker's got nothing on this guy.

Don't joke about that Luke.

I'm not.

Your alias is kind of funny, actually.

Sandy Storm.

It makes you sound like a female wrestler.

So you have a stalker.

So that's why you changed your name on the call sheet.

To mess him up, huh?