California No

And that was the last time you two had sex?

-Pretty much. -Yes.

Mm-mm-mm.

Sorry, it's not something I find terribly comfortable

talking about, given my upbringing.

Oh, no, it's OK, it's OK, take your time.

Perhaps I have been compartmentalizing things a bit

since we got married, including Elliott.

-Or is that over-rationalizing? -No, no, no, that's good.

I don't know why it's happened.

I still think he's attractive, but I just don't feel

attractive around him, if that makes any sense.

Has this lapse in your, um, intimacy levels

coincided with any decrease in libido?

Oh, no, I still have a very healthy sex drive.

Let's just say I do all right.

What would you describe as "all right?"

Uh, well, I haven't gotten any complaints from the others.

-Oh, others. -Other men.

Oh, so you're not monogamous?

Oh, no, it's OK, Elliott and I have an open marriage.

We have an open what now?

Elliott, I've explained the procedure.

We let Allison speak, and then it's your turn.

Then it's your turn.

- - Ah, ah. Elliott?

Thank you.

Allison?

Elliott seems a bit surprised by this new information.

How does his reaction make you feel?

I swear we discussed this, truly.

You know, I think that I would have

remembered had we discussed it.

How open are we talking about here?

-Like, are you out there, like-- -Yeah, I don't think

we should talk about this away from Dr. Rios.

Oh, that guy's a doctor like I'm a fucking Laker girl.

We're supposed to avoid judgmental language.

First movie is a thriller.

"When Young Tara's soccer coach is brutally murdered,

it's up to newswoman-turned-soccer-mom, Maddy Monroe,

to solve the murder and prove her husband's innocence.

Starring Danica McKeller, Drew Waters and Susana Gibb."

- OK. -What is the title of this masterpiece?

So, it's a newswoman-turned-soccer-mom?

Someone's murdered, and then the soccer coach is murdered,

and then she becomes a soccer-mom?

No, she gave up--

-Everyone, OK? -Everybody got it?

-Here we go. -Right!

- Yeah, I like the shimmy. - That's a British thing.

It is.

So, is the title Passion on the Field?

Oh, no, that sounds really good.

Black Victims, White Justice: The Maddie Monroe Story?

Oh, that seems way very much like that--

That's almost too topical.

Inspector Mom?

Inspector Mom?

Nowhere near it.

"How many of these guys have you fucked?"

That's a weird title.

That doesn't sound like that.

-That doesn't make any sense. - That's not--

I feel like, you know, Lifetime show, Wednesday at 8PM.

I feel like they have a line that they don't cross.

Anyway, so, Inspector Mom,you're right! -Didn't like Inspector Mom.

-That's the title? -That's the title!

If you didn't want a game night, you could have said.

It's fine, I had fun.

I think I need some privacy tonight, if you don't mind.

Oh, my God, really?

Sleep OK?

Hey, have you been hearing these birds around the house, sound like old car alarms?

And what do old car alarms sound like?

You know, like car alarms.

I think this might be one of those American-British things

we won't be able to reconcile.

Well, so we should talk about this.

-Should we? -I'm so sorry, pudding.

It's just, it's really hard to explain.

Well, you didn't seem to have any trouble

explaining it to that dip-shit therapist.

I think maybe we should go back to Dr. Rios.

I think it would help.

We are not going back to Dr. Rios.

Somebody else then, another therapist?

We are grown, rational, intelligent people.

We can figure this out on our own.

OK, great!

Is there anything specific you'd like to ask?

No, there is not any, no, not really.

You know, I'm still, like, in a state of shock or whatever,

and... just let it sink in.

OK, well, let me know when's good for you.

Oh, Allison.

Do you really not hear that?

So, what did you think of the movie?

It was, uh, very visual.

-Mm-hm. -And intense.

-Right? So intense. -Yeah, so intense.

OK, so you have ten minutes,

and I'll come in and signal you for last question.

OK, thanks.

Oh, and, uh, could you just stick to the movie?

She doesn't wanna talk about anything personal.

Yeah, sure. Sure, thanks.

I like the tie, it's cute.

Thanks.

-OK, all right. -OK.

-Have fun. -Thank you.

-You ready? -Mm-hm!

OK.

Um, so, what drew you to the project initially?

You know, I'd always been a big fan of the director.

It's been... God, I loved his first movie.

Even though that was an indie and obviously this is

a little bit bigger than that, um, and it was just

a great opportunity for me to really explore a side of myself

that I hadn't really gotten a chance to do, you know?

I usually get cast in these sort of lighter roles

and this was sort of-- I got to show my darker side.

Did you find that to be a challenge?

Um, you know, all acting is really a challenge.

You've got ten minutes, I'll signal you for last question.

Thanks.

Let me just get this going here.

Why don't you tell me what initially

drew you to the project?

You know, I just, I fell in love with the script.

For me, it was everything about the script.

I thought that the script was so special.

-Truly, it was a good script. - It's a family.

I mean, I know everybody says that,

but we were really a family.

I mean, we just became such a beautiful--

-Family on set. -We really became a very tight-knit--

-Family. -We became a family.

Did my publicist not tell you?

I don't answer those questions.

People keep talking about the 12-minute sex scene,

but the truth is, is they're very technical.

Yeah, the actor's director, the director's director.

I'm directing him, he's directing the actors.

So, it really all kinda

just became like, like a...

-Like a snake eating its own tail. -Exactly.

Honestly, New York is like another character in this movie.

Los Angeles is really like another--

-Character. -It is basically another character.

You know, the kind of silent character in the film.

And if that's the case...

might as well be makin' cereal commercials, right?

-Yeah. -I mean, what's the point?

Mm, mm-hm, yeah.

-Are you even listenin' to me, dude? -Hm?

Yeah, yeah, of course I'm listening to you.

-Yes, yeah, absolutely. -I get it.

You think this is all just a bunch of bullshit, right?

Stupid big studio movie, right?

Just a bunch of garbage, but you know what?

You could at least pretend.

Listen, I'm sorry, all right?

I'm just... It's been really tough lately.

Has it, has it been tough?

Here's some advice, do your fucking job.

Do your fucking job, do your fucking job.

I'm tryin' to lay down some realness for you, some realness.

And you're just all, "whatevs."

-Some realness? -Yeah!

You know, this is not realness.

This is not realness.

This is, in fact, completely imaginary.

This is, this is free advertising.

You know, why don't I just leave this little thing going,

and you can just talk at it while I go into your bathroom

and just jerk off all over your fancy complimentary bathrobe?

Because it really doesn't matter what the fuck

I'm doing here as long as you get whatever diarrhea it is

out of your fucking mouth.

OK. OK.

There you go, you got it. Oh, shit.

- -

There you go!

You little bitch, huh?

Maybe I could turn it into some sort of personal essay?