Ghost Graduation (Promoción fantasma)

Translated By Budds

GHOST GRADUATION

CLASS OF 93/94

You hear what I said? I said you trippin'.

I asked you about the Generation of 1927?

The Generation of 1927?

What?

Fuck you, douchebag.

Yo, respect!

Modesto, have you got a second?

MODESTO SUCKS!

We're making progress, Modesto.

Every school in the area has fired me.

But you don't see dead people any more.

We still need to pinpoint the problem.

Dead people are buried in the ground, right? In holes.

It's time to accept their existence.

- Dead people? - No.

The hole. It's the hole that scares you.

And the hole, my dear Modesto is your anus.

How can I put this... you are gay.

I'm not gay.

Sure you are. Repeat after me:

"I'm gay and there's no such thing as ghosts."

I put this kid through college for nothing.

No, wait!

Shit!

Ghosts appear

in Shakespeare's work

to remind the hero

that he has yet to complete his mission in life.

Open your books to Hamlet,

Act I,

Scene XI.

Elsa, can you read it, please?

"I am your father's spirit,"

"doomed for a certain time to walk the night..."

An awful translation.

In English we can appreciate how wonderful it sounds.

"I am your father's spirit,"

"doomed for a certain time"

"to walk the night."

"And the day"

"And the day, the day...

"I am on fire."

No, it was not so.

Here it is.

Edu!

Hey, Edu!

Why are you eating that crap?

I promised your parents we'd watch your cholesterol.

Edu!

Principal!

Ma'am!

Ma'am...

Otegui.

I do not want to disturb you

but I'm worried about Desiree's Mother's Day drawing.

- It's mommy. - Let me see.

How pretty!

I see she smokes. She has a cigar in her mouth...

It's not a cigar, it's a turd.

It's a turd.

I'd like to speak to the art teacher.

He quit last month.

- Another one? How many is that? - I don't know.

Eight. I've been keeping track.

Teachers quitting, accidents, students having nightmares...

As the only remaining member of the Parent Association,

I'd like to volunteer to help save the school.

No, no, no. That's okay Otegui. I have everything under control.

Ma'am!

The Chairlady of the school board is waiting in your office.

What for?

She must have heard the literature teacher tried to kill himself

Nine!

Miss Escalonilla,

The school board is extremely uneasy

about recent events at Monforte.

Don't worry, we have plenty of substitute teachers.

Many parents have talked about chaos at the school.

I'd say you're up against a group of rowdy students.

- I'm aware of that... - Ma'am, if it pleases the court...

This isn't a courtroom. I don't even know who you are.

Jose Maria Otegui, President of the Parents Association

and Miss Escalonilla's new assistant.

- My assistant? - That's right.

I can vouch for the excellent job she's done here at Monforte.

I was here when her father founded the school.

You mean back when the school made all the front pages?

Well, that was unfortunate.

- It was an accident. - It should have been closed then.

I want this school running like a convent by the end of the semester.

Do not worry, we will have this school flying high again in no time.

Certainly. Take me to the casino of Aranjuez.

Bye...

Thank you for your help, Otegui.

Anything for Monforte. The institution comes first.

- Right. - Even before you.

You have a great resume plenty of experience...

But why so many schools in such a short time?

Because none of them... were good enough.

I knew it. You belong here. You're just what we need.

Someone professional, competent, responsible...

Not someone insecure and mentally unstable.

Are you insecure and mentally unstable?

Yes. No.

- Yes or no? - No.

- You said yes before. - But then I said no.

In that case you'll do just fine.

Excuse me, do you know where room 4B is?

It's my first day.

We were talking for three hours, hanging out

I made up some bullshit and she bought it.

Excuse me, 4B?

Sure, look there...

the red door. Go up to the last floor,

take the stairs, they're being remodeled but that's okay,

all the way to the end.

There's an abandoned library. That's 4B.

- Thank you very much. - Anytime.

You guys are jackasses.

This is 4B?

Where should I...?

Princess, the books.

Yes I need to know what books you're using.

Thank you.

- He's not scared. - What?

Jorge... the chair.

Nothing.

Get the skeleton.

Where's the new teacher?

He hasn't shown up. Can we bail?

Why isn't he scared?

He probably came from a public school.

Closer.

What are you doing?

He talked to us.

Hey Guys, I think the new teacher...

talked to me.

- Modesto. - I'm leaving.

Already?

- I'm not interested. - But why?

I lied to you. I'm unstable. Very unstable, like jello.

Tell me why. Don't leave like this.

Modesto, at least tell me what this is about.

The interview went well, right?

Was it something I said?

Modesto, tell me what you saw!

- You see? He can see us! - I can't see anything!

Shit!

Hello.

Apparently your address is the only thing true on your resume.

No, please. Wait.

We need to talk. Please!

You saw something, didn't you?

- I have an appointment with my therapist. - Listen, I need your help.

Strange things have happened at school, for years.

He's very good. By good I mean expensive.

You don't need a therapist, I saw it with my own eyes.

- What did you see? - I do not know, you tell me.

This one had a huge belly, like she's pregnant.

That's right! Mariví was pregnant when she died.

You believe me?

Of course I do. I've tried everything.

Medium, parapsychologists, and nobody ever told me about them.

Well, these...

Modesto, it's not your imagination.

They were students here.

- Is that them? - I don't know, I can't see anything.

- Did anyone hear you? - I don't think so.

We're safe in here.

Now concentrate. We have to be respectful about this.

You mean call them ma'am and sir?

They're here.

- I'm out of here. - No, no.

We can't break the circle.

This isn't funny.

Put your finger on the glass.

Is anyone there?

YES

Are you of this world?

NO

Okay, who's going first?

Wake up, Romeo.

What?

Snap out of it, bro.

- Short or long version? - Long version.

Short. The long version sucks.

Who are you?

I am...

The

Death!

Death.

- Hey, I don't want to die a virgin! - But you're not a virgin!

I know, but I don't want to die.

Okay, come on.

Seriously. Who are you?

Hi, Jorge.

I'm Elsa.