Midsomer Murders

Craig.

I'm so sorry.

Top of the stairs, first door on the left. Thank you.

Right.

Felix.

I'm so sorry, darling.

You're too late.

Mrs Lancaster? A word, please.

Where's the body?

Come on, Betty.

And pink Ted.

Morning, Charlie. Morning.

You're here early, aren't you?

I had to drop Kate's keys into the estate agent

and get the rest of my stuff into storage, so...

Back at the B&B?

Our loss is Brighton University's gain.

And how is our new Professor Wilding getting on?

Good. Good. She's loving the job.

You know she's staying with Ben Jones while she's house-hunting?

No.

John never tells me anything. Yeah.

He looks good with a beard.

Looks like they're having a ball.

I'm sure she's missing you, too, Charlie.

How's her replacement settling in?

Kam? Yeah, she's very um...

Very efficient.

Dr Karimore keeps Nelson on his toes.

I don't think she likes me very much.

That's not true. You just need the right case to break the ice.

Which is exactly why I'm here.

There's been an incident over at Little Malton.

An incident? A dead body has... vanished.

So, Gregory Lancaster, 75,

died at home last night from pneumonia

attended by his doctor and surrounded by his family.

When the undertakers arrived, he'd disappeared.

It's a first, isn't it?

Question is, are we dealing with a body snatcher or a murderer?

Looks like Kam and her team beat us to it.

No need to feel threatened, Nelson.

- Dr Karimore? - Hello.

Few seconds.

You can get one of the team to do that, you know?

There's no substitute for personal investigation.

Please, call me Kam. Hi, Charlie.

Sorry, Kam. Don't suppose there's much you can tell

from an empty room? Quite the opposite.

Right. Let's start with the bed.

The undersheet has been pulled to the right,

suggesting the body was removed from this side.

And see this? The weft of the carpet.

It's flattened in the same way.

And these unusual fibres were on the floor and pillow.

All suggesting the body may have been removed via the window.

Exactly. Morphine?

Is it unusual to prescribe that for pneumonia?

Not unheard of if the patient is in severe distress.

Don't worry, I've already dusted for prints.

Oh.

Can I touch this? Yep, it's been processed.

No handy trees or drainpipes.

No access to the terrace.

It would have been difficult to get a ladder up here.

Rigor mortis wouldn't have set in.

The corpse would still be pliable.

So it could have been taken by somebody acting alone

in a fireman's lift, for example?

I think that's possible. Thank you, Kam.

Linda. Ma'am.

So, the body was either taken through the window

or carried through the house.

Either way it's insanely risky.

Whoever did this isn't afraid of risk.

Did your husband's death come as a surprise, Mrs Lancaster?

Yes. And no.

Two weeks ago, he contracted a chest infection

which turned into pneumonia.

He was vulnerable, so we knew the dangers.

Vulnerable why? He wasn't very old.

Gregory broke his pelvis in an accident 25 years ago.

He was never really well afterwards.

You, your daughter and your son-in-law were all in the room

when Dr Vernon pronounced your husband dead? Correct?

Yes.

Although Craig and Rose are not married,

so technically he's not my son-in-law.

I'm a midwife based at Causton Hospital.

My mother phoned to say Dad was...

..sinking fast.

So I abandoned my shift and came home.

So at least I got to say goodbye.

What did you do after your father passed away?

We came downstairs.

I went out into the garden to...

sort of clear my head.

I should have stayed with Daddy.

Then none of this would have happened.

But you had no reason to believe

anything like this would happen, did you?

No.

We'd like to speak to Craig if he's around.

Oh. He's at work. He's a tree surgeon

but he won't have gone far.

It's just he finds trees less stressful than people.

Were Rose and her father close?

Rose was devoted to her father.

And your son?

Well, he travelled for 36 hours to get here in time.

Unfortunately, he was too late.

He arrived a few minutes after the undertaker.

I assume Mr Lancaster left a will?

Would you mind telling me what's in it?

I get an annuity and a cottage in the village.

Everything else goes to Felix.

Father to son, the way we've always done it in this family.

And your daughter? Does she get anything?

No.

I'd just flown back from Buenos Aires.

I'm a polar expedition leader.

I spend most of my time in Antarctica.

I was just about to go into the Vinson Massif

when I got the message to say that my father was ill.

How did you get from the airport to Little Malton?

I hired a car.

I drove far too fast, but I...

I still got here too late.

I'd been in the house for less than a minute

when the undertakers discovered my father's body was missing.

What's going on, Inspector?

Is this some sort of monstrous practical joke?

It's possible, Mr Lancaster, but I doubt it.

Do you realise that with the investigation underway,

your inheritance is on hold?

This is hardly the time to be discussing that.

Right now my only concern is getting my father back.

That sounds like our not-quite son-in-law now.

How does a tree surgeon bag the daughter of the local squire?

Nelson, I do believe the countryside's getting to you.

You're turning into a snob.

Hi.

You wanted to speak to me? Yes, please, Mr Coffley.

I'm DCI Barnaby, Causton CID.

This is Sergeant Nelson.

Would you mind telling us what you did last night

immediately after Dr Vernon pronounced Mr Lancaster dead?

We all came downstairs.

Rose wanted to be alone, so I left her to it.

Did you get on well with Mr Lancaster?

He was civil enough.

Let me live in his house. I can't complain.

And Mrs Lancaster?

How long have you lived at Malton Hall?

Nearly four years. Came to do a bit of work on the estate.

Met Rose. Just never left.

Not that that's going to last much longer.

What do you mean?

Felix isn't going to hang around and run the place

whatever Hermione thinks.

He'll have it on the market the first chance he gets.

What are they all still doing poking around here?

They should be out looking for Dad.

They think it's one of us.

That's absurd. Have you any other ideas?

A disgruntled tenant, an old enemy of Dad's...

This day just keeps getting worse.

Your father didn't have any enemies, darling.

He'd barely left the house for years.

Mrs Lancaster, I was so sorry to hear about your husband.

Thank you.

Relieved, too, I'm sure.

You don't seriously imagine I'd take pleasure

in an outrage like this?

Mr Lancaster understood my point of view.

Which is more than I did.

Regardless of past disagreements,

please accept my sincere condolences.

And if there's anything I can do...

I think you've done enough, Reverend Ackers.

My officers and the forensics team will be finished here soon.

Thank you.

Mr Lancaster, I assume you will remain

in Little Malton for the time being?

Well, of course he will.

He's got an estate to run.

What exactly are your plans, Felix?

Don't you think you should be straight with Mum?

What are you two talking about?

It may not be possible for us to keep the hall on.

You can't be serious?

Well, this place eats cash.

Plus, there are the death duties on top.

But whatever happens, I will make sure

you are very well looked after, you know that.

I don't usually doubt your information, Nelson,

but are you sure?

This is Dr Vernon's home address, according to his receptionist.

At least we can kill two birds with one stone.

I'll take the doctor.