Gossip Girl

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into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.

Jenny, us hanging out was just as friends.

That was my mother, and she is at Canyon Ranch.

You should go.

- Elliot. - How'd you know where I lived

I started on the first floor and worked my way up.

- Will you... - Yes, of course I will marry you!

I told Chuck I'd take either you or the hotel.

He chose to give me you.

I did what I had to to win.

Even if it means losing me instead?

You went up there on your own.

Good-bye, Chuck.

Subber East Siders

.: Arcadya Global Team :.

Season 03 Episode 18 The Unblairable Lightness of Being

- What are you doing here? - Boss' orders.

No! Chuck!

No!

No!

No!

Up and at 'em, Upper East Siders.

It's time to awake from our slumber and learn the hard truth...

That some nightmares don't end once we open our eyes.

You're not gonna find anything in there.

Luckily for me, I own a bar downstairs.

Drink this.

We know this has to do with whatever's going on between you and Blair.

Okay, you got the Empire back.

You two should be celebrating, not fighting.

You wanna tell us what's going on?

Here.

I thought our relationship...

Could withstand anything. Apparently, I was wrong.

Well, you still love her, don't you?

Then show her that you're sorry.

Take her to Blue Hill upstate or buy her those Louboutins at Saks.

I'll buy Saks itself, that still wouldn't be enough.

She doesn't want to talk to me. I've tried.

- When? - You haven't been outside in days.

She asked me to leave her alone.

You don't want to wait too long, or she'll think you don't care.

Excuse me.

You think it worked?

Well, maybe you'll have better luck with Blair.

Wait. What? You're making me do this alone?

Breakfast with the Humphreys, remember?

Let me know how it goes. Good luck.

Hello? Hello?

What on Earth is going on?

I am sorry, Miss Eleanor, Mr. Cyrus.

That was my mother.

She come with father to New York on Monday.

But that's wonderful. I can't wait to meet them.

Maybe we can all go have

the vodka flight at the Russian Samovar!

We go nowhere once they see me.

My parents don't know I pregnant.

And since I not married, they will disown me.

Or worse, they will kidnap and take back to old country.

- Nate! - Hello, Nathaniel.

- I'm here to see the invalid. - And not a moment too soon.

She hasn't left her room for days. It'slike living with Howard Hughes.

Blair is upstairs. I hope you can make some headway with her.

I am not allowed to cross the transom.

Well, I'll do my best.

Great. He sent good cop.

Chuck didn't send me.

Serena.

Look, we're concerned about our best friends.

And whatever he did,

I'm sure you can find a suitable punishment for him.

There is no punishment for what he did.

You're Blair Waldorf.

"Punishment" is your middle name.

Just tell me what happened.

I can't tell anyone.

It's too awful.

There's no such thing as "too awful" between friends.

We don't judge, remember?

And we can forgive anything.

You can't tell anyone, especially not Serena.

Not a soul. I promise.

What did Chuck tell you about how he got his hotel back?

He didn't. He just said "money solves everything."

He didn't use money.

He used me, as a trade.

Come on. No way.

He set me up to sleep with Jack in exchange for his beloved Empire.

So now do you see why I couldn't tell anyone?

Oh, my God.

My Slavic language skills are a little rusty,

but I'm pretty sure she just said, "over my dead goat."

Or "body." The words are very similar.

Come away from there.

Eavesdropping on the help is undignified.

Plus, it confuses them.

I haven't heard that much overwrought Polish drama

since I canceled my B.A.M. subscription. What is going on?

From what I can gather, Dorota's in a bind.

She needs to be married before her parents show up on Monday.

Dorota, I don't understand this.

Why can't you and Vanya just go down to City Hall?

Never. First marriage happen at Polish City Hall.

You were married before?

Yes. I am divorce.

And one reason is because

first wedding happen at City Hall, ignoring tradition.

Wedding traditions very sacred in my country.

Dorota, don't be foolish.

Every marriage I know fail if wedding has no tradition.

Where did you and Mr. Harold get married?

I don't think that's the reason the marriage didn't work out.

This not way it's supposed to be.

Miss Blair and I talk about what wedding with Vanya will be like.

It's supposed to be big,

grand, perfect.

Blair does love herself a wedding.

If I may interject...

Thank you for keeping my secret.

No problem. I'm just gonna tell Serena to hold off

- on the interrogation of you and... - Chuck.

Miss Blair, I am getting married!

- Of course you are. - I mean tomorrow.

Mr. Chuck is throwing us traditional Polish/Russian wedding.

- He said you two back together... - He did?

Which is best news ever. Traditional wedding must have

happy couple who escort bride and groom into chapel.

Is necessary for good luck in marriage.

Please, Miss Blair,

Mr. Chuck,

will you be happy couple for Vanya and me?

I can't speak for Blair,

but it would be my great pleasure.

Poor B. just realized

that Chuck will do anything to keep the flame alive.

Hello, beautiful.

Glad you came.

As for Serena, looks like she's playing with fire.

These venues will not do. I know I said...

traditional, but... bing it.

Have you ever checked out the Astoria World Manor?

It's Queens' answer to the grand ballroom at the Plaza.

Thank you, Charles.

You didn't know about that?

You look like you need a task.

What I need is a zofran.

All this disingenuous generosity is making me want to vomit.

There's nothing disingenuous.

I'm happy I can give Dorota and Vanya the dream wedding that they deserve.

The only reason you're giving it is so that you can spend time with me.

- You know weddings are my weakness. - Really? It never occurred to me.

Everything occurs to you, Chuck.

You and I are magnetic.

You can feel it.

Our pull is as undeniable as ever.

- It's different this time. - It doesn't have to be.

I love you.

Saying it was hard, but I did, and I've never looked back.

So now I'm asking you,

please do this for me.

Forgive me.

I'm sorry. I can't.

Yes! Thank God you're here. I need help with the flowers.

No, I wish I was kidding.

I'm no florist, but I've received enough flowers

to know a thing or two. I'm all yours.

- Croissant? - I'm starved.

Was Rufus' waffle iron broken?

No, but this is gonna be a long day.

Show me those flower choices.

Okay, so my Tisch application is in the mail, Vanessa's out of town,

and I just ate about 5 pounds of Bisquick.

Food coma film festival? Who's with me on the couch?

I'm thinking Kieslowski's Double Life of Veronique .

You're in luck. We just scored front-row seats to a Polish production in live.

Vanya and Dorota are getting married, they asked me

to throw them a traditional eastern European game night

whatever that means. Eleanor asked if you and your sewing machine were free.

- Already on my way. - I'm gonna come with you.

Is it to help me sew or to stalk your new crush?

- It's not stalking if you know him. - Who's the lucky guy?

His name is Elliot.

I met him during Nate's party.

We've been texting, but I don't know if he's being flirty or friendly, so...

Yeah, Eric refuses to ask him out until he knows if he's gay or not.

It could be totally embarrassing

if I assume one thing and he actually means another.

Come on, stalker.

It's too bad Lily's gonna miss the party.

And the wedding.

You could ask her to come back early. How many massages can one person get?

This is Cece and Lily we're talking about. Cece needs her.

So do you.

Just ask her to come home, be your date.

It'll be romantic.

Heading to the florist? You chose the calla lilies or the casablancas?

You know what, Chuck? Don't even bother.

I know what you did.