The Brink

President Navarro: That's fine.

That satellite will be obsolete by the time it's delivered.

What else does Raja want?

Yeah, a membership to Augusta National.

This reads like Satan's fucking Christmas list.

Walter, I need you to get into the ambulance, please.

Also one Ohio-class ballistic nuclear submarine.

What?

They could park that thing off Coney Island

and nuke every city on the eastern seaboard.

- Come on, come on. - It's just a wish list.

You start with this, you whittle it down to what's realistic.

Well, the day I play 18 holes behind the head of Pakistan's secret police

is the day I eat my goddamn putter!

Walter, please get in the ambulance.

Guys, I just landed in India. And in a few minutes,

I'm going to tell the Indian foreign minister

that we're all good, we're putting Raja in power,

and hope that backs them away from war with Pakistan.

Now, Larson, you're in the wrong goddamn country.

You should be in Israel laying the groundwork for a joint strike op.

Okay, Pierce, let's play this out.

Kashmir has three borders... India, Pakistan, China.

India invades Pakistan, Pakistan pushes back.

China sides with their ally, Pakistan.

Now you've got a ground war not between two nuclear powers,

but three! Walter, ambulance, now!

Anyone else see the opening ceremonies at the Beijing Olympics?

- Those synchronized drummers? - Yeah, they were good.

Fucking terrifying! Imagine if they applied that same level of focus

to their standing army of seven point fuck-me million!

All right, Walter, I'm listening.

India is down a surveillance drone.

Get some planes in the air and get me recon on Zaman's troops.

That'll grease the wheels here.

Fine. Pierce will authorize.

- I will? - Great! I'll be getting to work.

Sir, your kidney stone is blocking fluid from reaching your bladder.

If we wait any longer, you risk your urinary tract bursting

and sending urine all over your vital organs.

That sounds gross.

Kendra, get Rakesh on the phone. Tell him we're on our way.

But your urinary tract is about to...

Kendra, Indian foreign minister, now!

Interpreter: And with these decrees, we free ourselves

from the last vestiges of British imperialist rule

and demotion of English as an official language,

and an immediate ban of driving

on the left-hand side of the road.

This guy's turning out to be quite the progressive.

Mr. Secretary?

Sir, it's probably me he wants to speak with.

He's the Secretary of State. I am the ambassador to Pakistan.

Have a seat, Talbot.

Yes, Walter, fill me in.

- Hey, Bob, put me on speaker. - Okay.

- (beeps) - Okay, here's the deal.

Talbot's my guy. You're not my guy, Bob.

You're only there because you introduced Bush 43 to Jesus.

Whether or not that makes you personally responsible

for everything we've done post 9-11,

well, that's for Judgment Day, which I'm sure you've marked

on your calendar with some sort of smiley face.

Until then, you're going to see that Talbot gets everything he needs.

- Sound good, Bob? - Mr. Secretary, but I...

- Take me off speaker, Talbot. - Yes, sir.

Don't worry, I'm sure when the smoke clears,

you'll be glad you went into Iraq.

- (beeps) - Nothing I'm about to say

gets repeated, especially to that guy.

Makes sense.

I think I can pull Augusta out of a hat,

but the nuclear sub is a non-starter.

Tell him everything else is on the table, though.

- And if he balks? - Negotiate.

Any international-diplomacy tips you can lay on me?

It's easy. Just leave him thinking he got everything he wanted

even when he didn't. Convince him he won.

Mm-hmm. And how will I know if I did that?

He won't kill you. Now when's the rendezvous?

Uh, unclear. We didn't exactly make any plans,

and he didn't give me a contact number.

Figure it out fast!

We're running out of time.

Are you still my guy?

Oh, I'm your guy. I can do this.

Good. Now in your embassy, there is a room... 304A,

- as in albatross. Ask for Leonard. - Leonard?

He'll make sure you don't go into this thing unarmed.

- Now when you say "unarmed"... - Good luck.

Thank you.

Dougan: You'll all be briefed in the air,

but it looks like armed recon over the Kashmir border.

Let's move, ladies. Move, move, move!

Soldier: Let's go.

Hey, you didn't tell Ashley?

I don't think I thought this through very well.

All right, lay it on me, man. That's why I'm here.

Well, if I tell her I'm having a child with another woman,

that's not going to make her feel, you know, good.

Yeah, well, I hear that.

Because I think my promise to move to Los Angeles

and raise our children could possibly be misinterpreted

as me wanting to get back together with her.

That's a good point.

Well, I don't want to lead her on.

But if I tell her about my second family,

she's going to think I only wanted her to be in LA

so that I could be in San Diego with Gail,

and that's really going to play with her emotions.

Especially 'cause it's true.

So that got me thinking about never telling her,

and how ignorance is bliss,

and about Bruce Wayne, right?

- 'Cause he's a good guy. - Oh, he's the best.

And when he's with a woman, he's not like, "I'm Batman."

- No. - And when Batman's with a girl,

- he's not like, "I'm Bruce Wayne." - Hell no.

He might show her the Batcave, but he's never going to take her to the mansion.

He keeps that shit split.

So LA's going to be my mansion,

San Diego's going to be my Batcave.

And I-5's going to be my fire pole I slide down to get from one to the other.

Well, so far this holds water.

I gotta come clean, huh?

Yeah, pretty much.

Shit.

Hello, I'm looking for Le...

This is from Walter Larson.

Uh, okay.

How much is in here?

$80 million in thousand-dollar bills.

Dictators love 'em. They can frame them,

give them to their friends. Good for Swiss banks,

bad for everything else.

Look, that's Grover Cleveland.

So I just... Do I sign this out

or do you need to see my driver's license?

Good luck.

Whoa, what's in the bag?

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Now we need to find a phone number for Raja,

then find a place to meet that isn't public or owned by the US government.

That seems easy enough.

Which one of you is Alex Talbot?

He is.

- Come with us, please. - Here's the thing...

- Not a choice. - Hey, hey, hey!

Can you do this?

- (elevator beeps) - Yes.

Sir, are you okay? You're sweating.

It's 118 degrees.

Outside. In here it's freezing.

- It is? - Yes.

Fuck.

Welcome to New Delhi, Mr. Secretary.

Mr. Foreign Minister, it's an honor to be here.

I hope we can put the past few days behind us.

When we last spoke, you used a phrase

that I took as a personal insult.

But in looking up this phrase, I now realize

there are many idioms in your language

that I need to learn... Half-cocked among them.

What is this sound?

Rakesh, I need you to pull your troops away

from the disputed border in Kashmir.

No, Pakistan blew our drone out of the sky.

They take Kashmir, what is to stop them from blowing up New Delhi?

About 28 NATO allies.

Zaman is a crazy man.

Zaman has SRBMs pointed directly at us right now.

Nuclear weapons! And if that is his approach,

you can imagine our response.

Are you well?

Ahem.

I am organizing a counter-coup

to remove Zaman from power and replace him with Haroon Raja,

his half-brother.

Raja will withdraw the troops from the disputed border in Kashmir

and deescalate this motherfucker.

We have a saying in India...

"Do not trust Pakistan."

I'm not asking you to trust Pakistan, I'm asking you to trust me.

Then we have nothing to talk about.

I'm sorry you came all this way.

Should we take our picture now?

What if I stay in New Delhi until Zaman is removed from power?

That'll take the target off your back.

Then if Zaman blows up New Delhi,

he'll have to take out the US Secretary of State

and have to deal with the consequences.

- Human shield, huh? - Yes, sir.

I will take this offer to my prime minister.

Excellent.

- (wheezes) - Hey, I think we're done here.

Okay, where is your nearest hospital?

Ahh!

Which side of the road are you people driving on now?

Guys?

Seriously, make up your fucking minds!