Quartet (カルテット)

- Please look at this. - When did it turn into this state...?

- I didn't know. - Why did it become like this?

Because no one takes the trash out in the morning.

I thought you would take it out, Beppu-san.

I thought you would take it out, Beppu-kun.

I thought someone would do it.

I thought about it the other day.

"Ah, no one does it because I always end up taking all the trash out."

"If I stop, maybe everyone will start doing it?"

So I waited to see what would happen, and this is the result.

- Isn't it cold? - It sure is.

- Suzume-chan. - Yes.

- Please get up in the morning to take out the trash. - I can't get up in the morning. If it's at night...

Garbage disposal at night is prohibited in the neighborhood.

- As long as people don't see you... - There are patrols.

We can camouflage the trash bags or something?

That's it!

The patrols won't even notice the trash bags are there.

I'm sure they won't notice. Even the garbage trucks.

You're gonna taste that same sadness when no one finds you during hide-and-seek.

It's impossible to ask Suzume-chan to get up in the morning.

- Iemori-san. - Can you give me some pocket money?

Why do I have to give you pocket money?

I was fired from my part-time job so I'm broke.

- Maki-san. - It's so cold in the morning...

It's cold for me too. That's why I'm suggesting we each take turns.

Should we divide the responsibility based on seasons? Spring!

Summer!

Fall.

Those who don't take out the trash are just as good as trash.

Please take these out starting tomorrow!

Yes!

What are we gonna do?

If this goes on, this place will become a garbage house.

- People from the media will come. - Ah!

So Beppu-san does blow up sometimes, huh?

Should we try pushing it to see how angry he can get?

Beppu-san~

You can live with these kids if you don't want to take them out.

"These kids"...

- Is something wrong with you? - Is something wrong with me?

Is something wrong with me??!

Maybe something is wrong with me.

There, there.

Let's eat first.

- Let's eat. - Let's eat onigiri.

You sure can eat when it's so stinky around here, huh?

We can't invite guests here. They will be horrified at the stench.

None of our friends will come visit us.

We can just make friends with people who like the smell of trash then.

- Those people don't exist. - One of my old classmates was like that.

When asked to choose between a pretty girl with stinky feet and one without stinky feet,

he would choose the one with stinky feet.

He's just a weirdo then.

- You've gotta be kidding. - Hm?

Uwah, uwah, that's scary!

Well, but a little bit of stench will make the house more charming, right?

It won't! If this place turns into a garbage house,

the residents around here are gonna chase us out...

and we will all become homeless--

They're here.

They're here, they're here, they're here.

What should we do with these?

Let's bring them up to Beppu-san's room.

Good idea.

- Iemori-san, you have guests. - Me?

Maybe it's a pretty girl with stinky feet?

Ah~ hello. Don't mind us.

Karuizawa sure is cold.

I caught a cold.

Handa-san, I'll come with you. Let's do this outside--

Where are you going?

These people have nothing to do with you. Well, I have nothing to do with you either.

What kinds of stuffing do you have?

- Salted salmon and dried bonito flakes. - Hm?

- Salted salmon and dried bonito flakes. - Hm?

Handa-san, that's mine...

Where is this woman?

As I said, I have no idea.

Why would someone as gutless as I am...

...protect this woman whom I don't even care for?

Found it!

He just touched the onigiri with that hand.

Handa-san, I can't work without that--

The trash is piling up, huh?

I'll throw it out for you.

- He's a nice person. - He's not.

He even caught a cold.

- What are you doing, Maki-san? - Calling the police...

It's not their fault they acted like that. The one at fault is this woman--

Who is this woman?

My ex-wife.

- Eh? - Pardon me?

I'll tell you guys what happened. It's a long story though.

Suzume-chan, take off the toilet slippers before you go into my room.

Ah, sorry.

Take a seat.

To put it simply,

this person is Chamako.

Her name means "the child of a brown horse." She's my ex-wife.

So you were married before, huh?

Well, yeah. I have a child too.

- Whaat? - If I were to get to the root of it,

I once won 60 million yen in the lottery.

- What!? - At that time, I was a V-cinema* actor. (T/N: Direct-to-video; films made for release in home video formats)

What!?

If we go back even further, I traveled around Japan on a bicycle during elementary school.

Hold on a second.

- There are way too many toppings. - We don't know what the original flavor is anymore.

I won 60 million yen in the lottery when I was an actor.

However, I forgot that I bought the ticket. When I found out that I won,

the deadline to claim the prize money was already over.

- Uwah~ - It sure makes you go "uwah~" right?

You can react like that because it doesn't happen to you. When it happened to me though,

I was so depressed that I would drown myself in liquors every night.

I met a woman at the snack bar.

She was feeling depressed because her hamster died.

When we went to see a movie together, the hamster in the movie died as well.

I tried to comfort her, and then we somehow got married.

I mean, I wasn't happy either.

If people are happy with their lives, they probably won't get married.

The person I married at that time was Chamako.

Why did you get a divorce?

- There was a heat wave that year... - People don't get divorced because of heat waves.

Well, there's also the fact that I didn't manage to get a steady job...

Marriage is a living hell.

My wife is like a piranha. (T/N: an omnivorous freshwater fish known for sharp teeth and powerful jaws)

A marriage certificate is like the death note that fulfills curses.

We would fight every day, and she'd hand me the divorce papers.

Even then, I was reluctant because I didn't want to be separated from my son.

Once, I fell from the stairs in the train station and was hospitalized--

Anyway, there's no one I detest more in my life.

Then, who were those two people earlier?

Soon after divorcing me,

Chamako got herself another boyfriend.

The man is named Saionji Makoto.

He comes from a rich family but wants to be a novelist instead of taking over the family business.

Anyway he's a self-centered guy. They eloped together.

The two people earlier are his father's subordinates.

Their aim is to make Saionji Makoto and Chamako break up and bring the guy back home.

You get the picture?

In short, if you know the whereabouts of Chamako-san and Saionji-san...

Well, I know where they are.

I'm sorry.

So cute.

I gave this to my son secretly when I got divorced.

Chamako sent it back to me.

This address is...

Chamako is not stupid. She wouldn't write her real address.

- This! - Yeah.

- This! - Yeah.

She's not the type who would go out of her way to some far convenience store to send this.

She's not the type who would go out of her way to some far convenience store to send this.

But can we find her with just Yokosuka?

- If we go to the elementary school... - My son would be there.

I see.

So you've been keeping quiet not because of your ex-wife, but for your son's sake right?

I'm meeting with Chamako tomorrow.

I'll talk some sense into her.

So, Suzume-chan...

Why do I have to pretend to be your girlfriend, Iemori-san?

Chamako thinks I'll end up dying alone,

so I have to show her that's not gonna happen.

Doesn't Maki-san look the part more than I do?

Chamako knows me though.

Then wake me up when we get there.

What's the matter?

- My glasses... - You dropped your glasses?

- Ah, it's fine. - No it's okay. I'll help you find them.

Beppu-san.

Thank you. Thanks so much.

You're welcome.

Right, before I forget...

Y- yes?

You guys kissed over there the other day, right?

Ah.

Ah... yes.

Beppu-san, are you acting as if nothing had happened?

- No, I don't mean to... - She may be acting nonchalantly,

but she's waiting for your answer, Beppu-san.

But she said before that she liked Iemori-san.

- Suzume-chan, she-- - Maki-san, stop.

Sorry?

- Are they yours, Beppu-san? - No. The old lady...

You're good now.

Are you nervous about meeting your ex-wife?

If I were to rank my wife, a cat and a rhinoceros beetle in terms of how well we can communicate,

it would be cat, beetle and my wife.

Rhinoceros beetle.

For some reason, Chamako would wear sandals even in the middle of winter.

For some reason, the screen on her smartphone would always be broken.

When she hands over a box with a cake inside, she would hold it vertically.

- I don't get her. - Iemori-san.

Aren't you just forcing your own opinions on her?

When I was hospitalized,

Chamako didn't come visit me.

My son came to see me alone.

He said to me then...

...that he wanted to quickly become an adult.

And there I was, thinking to myself every day...