Shrinking

Fuck.

It's creepy how you always sit alone in the dark.

I cannot condemn you to live in the bowels of hell for all eternity.

I love you too much.

- What? - Gary Oldman? Dracula?

- No? - No.

Hey, I gotta go bail Sean out of jail before work.

But I have a meeting with your counselor later.

What's he gonna tell me about you?

He might ask, "How's Alice feeling after you getting beat up at her soccer game?"

Unless, maybe he doesn't even know about it.

He was holding an ice pack to your face.

Malik. I like that guy.

He was tender.

Hey, if you wanna have dinner tonight…

I'm busy. It's Taco Tuesday.

Yes. My favorite vaguely racist weekly food holiday.

Who you having tacos with?

Got it.

You know, if you ever do wanna have dinner, I'm around.

I'll be here,

right in my corner.

Bye.

Love you.

- Have a great day. - I'm sure it'll be awesome.

- Say it. - Not everyone here is a fucking idiot.

Attagirl.

- Morning, Jimmy. - Hey, man.

So I did just what you told me. I didn't pressure her or anything.

I just casually asked her to have dinner with me, and guess what?

She basically told me to go fuck myself.

Could we have this conversation after I have my coffee?

Nope. Look, I know you said

I'm supposed to let her come to me, but I'm starting to lose hope.

Well, it's understandable.

You've been trying this approach for almost ten minutes.

Good sarcasm, Paul.

You can't force it. You were checked out for almost a year.

I just let you know that I would be there for you when you were ready.

Alice will have dinner with you when she's ready.

Until then, you just wait.

That's how it is with people that you love.

You just said you love me.

No, I did not.

Well, it sounded like you did.

I'm not ready to say it back just yet, but...

What's with the sirens? Where are you?

All right, look, Paul, I'm just gonna be completely honest with you…

You've been very supportive lately,

so I decided I was gonna bring you doughnuts.

Then I got down here to the doughnut shop

and apparently, this place has been robbed.

There's shattered glass and blood everywhere.

Could be jelly. It's probably jelly.

Anyways, looks like today's not doughnut day for us, Paul,

but I'll see you at work.

Okay. Bye.

Oh, shit.

Now I want a doughnut.

Thanks for coming.

- Morning. - Fuck you.

How come your folks didn't come bail you out?

I never called 'em.

Hey, do you know any lawyers? This dude is definitely coming after me.

Yes, I know one.

Is he like an asshole or something?

- No. He is the best. - Great.

I've just been hiding from him for a year.

Oh, my God.

Look.

- What do I do? - Answer it.

- I'm not ready. - You are.

- How do I look? - Great, but it's just a phone call.

- Oh, my God. - Just answer it.

Jimmy?

- Hello? - Hi, Brian!

That was normal.

Paul cannot know about this shit.

- God, you look like ass, Jimmy. - Yeah, I know.

Is Sean okay?

Sean is fine, but my patient's husband got fucked up.

What?

- What happened to you? - I fell, man.

- How? - How?

I got these new shoes here, and I... They got no grip.

I should've got ones with grip.

These non-grippy shoes, they'll fuck you up.

- So, you fell onto your eye? - Yes.

You got very close to me. Okay.

Because of your non-grippy shoes?

Yeah. Right on it.

Like…

- I did this like a cartoon, Paul. - That's crazy.

And then he went right into a side table.

Do you have any side or little tables, Paul?

- I do. - That's cool.

Do you have a TV where you can just watch tennis matches with people?

As in one of the old ones, the deep, old, square ones that are very heavy?

Like a Zenith?

Look, I don't have people in my home. It's not that I'm antisocial.

I'd argue that that's the definition of antisocial.

I know you do this to shame me 'cause I'm a somewhat private person,

but it just strengthens my resolve.

"Somewhat private"?

I've known you for years. I've never been inside your apartment, house,

I have no idea. Never met your daughter.

- Yeah, what is she like? - She lives in Connecticut.

Wow. It's like she's in the room.

Look, I'm pro-boundaries.

I'm always there for my patients,

just not for my very needy colleagues.

- Oh, shit. - No.

- He means you. - That was you.

- No. Nuh-uh. - He meant you.

- He did. - I'm sorry about her.

My family is for me.

My home is my Fortress of Solitude.

Fortress of Solitude should be the name of your memoir.

I'm never gonna tell you the name of my memoir.

- Very spicy today. - Well, he's mad because I said,

- "memoir," and clearly it's… - "Mem-wah."

- "…mem-wah." - That would make a lot of people mad.

Yeah. This is my peepaw, and this is my "mem-wah."

My sister and I have been acting like teenagers again.

Drinking too much, staying up late.

Oh, my God. Last night we prank called our old high school principal.

- Turns out he's dead, so not that fun. - How'd he die?

He was murdered by the guidance counselor.

Wow. That's a surprise.

Why are you hiding from me?

Can you move your camera? I can't see your whole face.

Yeah.

How's that? Is that better?

It's like your chair's moving, but you're not moving your camera.

That's weird. My chair is staying totally still.

It must be some sort of weird optical illusion, or maybe it's a filter.

- Grace, our time is up. - What?

But I did wanna tell you you're doing really great, okay?

We'll talk again next week. Bye.

So, the place is, like, hopping like I've never seen it, okay?

So, I'm thinking I'm just gonna skate on through,

but guess who just stops everything and asks me how my day is going?

I bet I know, Dan.

- The barista. - Yeah!

The fucking barista.

- Again. - Again.

Why don't you just make my fucking coffee?

Absolutely.

Or you could just answer his question.

- I mean, I'm just... Thoughts? - Have a couple. "Fuck" and "that."

Why should I make small talk with this guy?

You know, maybe it gives him joy.

Hearing about my fucking day would give him joy, really?

It's definitely my happy place, Dan.

You wanna know what I think?

I think maybe this whole "I hate everyone" shtick,

it's led to you living a pretty isolated life.

Aren't you getting tired of being lonely?

'Cause I'll tell you something. I'm fucking lonely, Dan.

I really am quite lonely.

Sucks.

Yeah.

It does.

You feel like some coffee, Dan? I feel like some coffee.

- Hey there. How may I help you? - Stan.

His name's Dan. Your names rhyme.

That's pretty fun, huh?

I will fucking kill you.

Just a couple Americanos, please.

No problem. How's your day going?

My day started out slow, but now it's picking up.

Dan?

My day was going okay, but now it's bad.

Tell me about it.

We ran out of oat milk. Everyone here is losing their shit.

- Fuck oat milk. - Yes.

Thank you.

I'll get those drinks going.

- Hated that. - I don't believe you.

Oh, shit. I gotta run.

Session's over. Have fun.

Wait. You said you were gonna pay.

Hello. Sorry I'm late.

I was with a patient, but I'm here.

We started without you.

I didn't know if Liz was filling in permanently or…

- No. Just the two times. - Three times.

Three times? Okay.

I should go. Should I go?

No. It's fine. The more, the merrier.

- Happy to be here. - It's quite a shiner.

I mean, obviously, yesterday was a lot.

I agree.

Thank you for cradling my head, by the way.

I was just telling Liz that Alice dropped off the debate team.

She didn't feel like she had the time, 'cause of soccer and everything,

and I... You go.

Me? Sure.

Well, I agree with Liz.

She's currently very focused on the sport of soccer.