Life & Beth

This is for you.

It's a ring.

I know.

For you.

I know.

- So, he didn't get down on one knee or nothin'?

- I mean, technically, he was on two knees, kinda on me, but.

- Jasper, your dog better not shit on my lawn again!

You know, love is a beautiful thing.

- And you two are getting married, and that's what's important.

- Yeah, at first I was worried it was a little s--

Stupid!

- Soon, Shlomo. I was saying "soon."

Sorry, Bethala. I--

It was gonna be an S-word though, right?

- Listen, I'm gonna give you a little advice.

- Okay. - Don't be like the rest of these brides,

spendin' nine years plannin' they weddin'.

Then when it's over, they have nothing to live for.

They tired, they broke, they got a honeymoon on layaway.

- Layaway? - It's just sad. We don't do layaway.

Jasper, the dog! Thank you.

Yeah, we don't wanna wait.

Nah, we just wanna get married.

Yeah, it's not about getting married.

It's about being married.

See, I, I think that's a mistake.

There are so few things in life we really celebrate.

A, a wedding is something to commemorate,

e-especially as a Jewish woman.

It's important to pay respects to your ancestors who fled Nazis

so you could be alive and get married in the first place.

- Can we kind of keep things light, just today?

- Yeah. Of course. I'm sorry. - Beth, look.

I think you should go all out.

Ya know, even though I got divorced, I'm glad I had a bangin' wedding.

- Yes, you did. - My God, it was so good.

No, we're, we're gonna do something great.

- Yeah, I agree. I just don't wanna wait.

- Ya know, we, we could do it next week. Is that crazy?

Timing's good for the farm.

Harvest just ended, so I'm free. The vineyard?

We did my mom's memorial there, so.

- You know what? Next week's bad. - I'm goin' to New Orleans

to go to the Essence Festival with my cousins.

I love New Orleans.

Me too. That's perfect.

- Yes! - No, no, no, no, no, no.

- Can I go? - N-No. No! This is my trip.

- This is great. You can still do all your stuff.

- Why can Aunt Beth go, but I can't go? - No, wait,

I'm not gonna have my trip white-jacked. - What is that?

What does it sound like, Beth?

That's when white people take over a Black experience!

I have some friends down there.

- You do?! - My God, look at this cool guy.

Friends in New Orleans. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

- How 'bout my guy? - No, stop! Don't do that with her!

No! This is my only time to see my favorite cousins. Absolutely not.

No, you won't even notice that we're there.

You can just pop over to the wedding.

You can still do all your stuff, all the Essence.

- No! No! What do you mean all the Essence-- No! Alright?

Why don't you guys go to, like, Teen Vogue-apalooza,

or, or, or, like, The New Yorker Clambake or whatever,

but you not gonna white-jack my trip.

Jasper! Get that fuckin' dog!

Get outta here!

Jasper, I thought we was friends, dude.

- Jasper. - Come on.

Look, Maya,

it's a destination wedding in the middle of the week, last minute.

Nobody's even gonna show.

Look. Looky here.

'Cause I got a pearl for the beautiful girl.

- My God! - It's what makes you a lucky man

'cause that's very rare that you find a pearl.

- Is it? - Yes, indeed.

We're getting married.

- Well, congratulations. That makes her even more lucky.

- Can you still eat it without the pearl? - Of course, you can.

You know oysters are a aphrodisiac?

You a lucky man today.

- You're a lucky man. - I am a lucky man.

- Yeah. - Ooh, cha-cha-cha, baby.

The best shrimp I ever had. Minnesota.

Minnesota has fantastic shrimp.

Bethy!

The hotel is fantastic,

and they have peanuts, in the lobby at all times.

- You have mentioned that. I'm so glad you like it.

- And I was gonna see, maybe later on, we, um, we gonna take--

- You're not making a quick stop at Rick's Cabaret.

Again. Okay? Thank you.

And we're so glad everybody could make it.

I can't believe it worked out.

Actually, we hoped no one would.

- But, but we're so glad that it did work out, obviously.

Especially, you two. Where's little Vince?

He's at the hotel--

- Reminder! - This is my week, okay? I'm kid-free.

I don't get this at home, so respect me.

I fucking love it here!

- Where the hell did you get all those beads?

This is the opposite of Essence Fest.

This is Herbal Essence Fest!

I love that shampoo. Smell my hair.

- Really? Where did you-- Did you really, like, just show your tits?

- LaVar, Denisha, if you wanna have some melanated fun, come join me.

My cousin got me tickets to Earth, Wind & Fire!

- Hell yeah! Earth, Wind & Fire?

- They have a great World War II museum I think we'd enjoy together.

- I'm gonna break off from the group also. - Yeah?

- Who is this? - John. We're getting married tomorrow.

- Leonard. - Alright.

- 'Kay. - Ooh!

Old-timey photos! - Caricatures! And the most important,

- planning your bachelorette party. - My God.

No! My God.

Tonight is about me and John. Please, I'm serious, stay away.

Secret bachelorette party.

- You stay away from me. - Cheers!

Fuck you.

Thank you!

It's Ann.

Okay, I'll let you take it.

- Who dat? - It's Ann!

- I know. That's just what they say here. Who dat?!

- Yeah. - Did you check in okay?

I think you're rushing into this.

- I know, I definitely didn't feel comfortable saying, "Who dat?"

- No, I think you're rushing into getting married.

I'm sorry, but I just-- I gotta say it.

Okay, I wanna be with him, Annie.

- I know, I know. I know you think that now.

Listen. I--

Remember Mom got us those stupid keychains

for Phantom of the Opera?

Yeah. Three years in a row.

Never took us.

One of Mom's best empty promises.

Right, well I wanna make a real promise.

I don't know, I just-- Ya know.

It's fuckin' fast! It's too fast!

You're being hurtful.

Okay, I've been havin' some trouble

- ...leaving my apartment lately, and-- - No, you know what?

Don't come.

- Look, Beth, I-- - Don't come. Because if you do,

you'll just come with all your boundaries.

- No-- - And I'd rather you just not be there.

- Alright? - Beth, I'm trying to--

No. No, no! I-I mean it, Annie.

I'm serious!

We only want people to come

who actually love and support us! - I'm-- Jesus Christ.

- You were the one who was pushing me to let him in, and now he's in,

so you stay out!

- Hey, hey! - Okay?

- Beth. - Well, I have to go anyway

'cause John just-- he's buying me a flower crown.

My God, hello?

You were right, John! I will look like a princess in that!

That's so nice, thank you!

- Beth? - Okay, great, goodbye.

- That's good. Yeah, straight line. That's it, that's it, perfect.

- Um. - That's better.

- John? - Hey, hon.

This is Ben.

Do you know the correct way to do a pushup?

- I-- Really? - How do you do it?

- Well, it's like a straight line from the back of the head,

down to the ankles. - That's great to know.

Do you think maybe we can help get Ben somethin' to eat?

What? Somethin' to eat?

Well, they, they just, um, actually, put some lunch out back

if you guys-- - Great. That sounds really good.

Yes. Come on! - Is this, like, a mission? Soup kitchen?

Follow me. Come on.

I don't wanna follow a homeless person into an alley.

- Follow me, y'all. - What are you talking about?

Come on, here. Come on. Like this, Beth. Get your arms up.

- You gotta walk this way. - I don't feel good about this.

You can't, ya know-- There's certain places.

What?

- Beth, I'd like to introduce you to the Preservation Hall Band.

Hi.

- Yeah, Ben's the tuba player. He's my friend.

He's gonna help us with all things New Orleans.

- I'm so sorry. I thought you were, like, a homeless person-- Unhoused.

Happens all the time.

- Really, no big deal. - Gosh. Okay. Yeah.

God.

Ann-Ann's not coming.

She's not?

Let's focus on us. Come on.

Forget Ann. - Yeah.