Valentines Date

UPLOADED AND EDITED BY ISMAIL DUSTIN EL MRINI DUSTIN.ISMAIL ISMAIL EL MRINI

- Daryl and Lola, two beautiful people

by the power vested in me on this sanctified day,

standing here before God,

I now pronounce you now, now and forever husband and wife.

You may kiss your bride.

- Well. - Aa!

- I was jus-- - The question Daryl was

for your wife.

You must give her the opportunity

to express her truth without interruption.

- Boring. - Boring?

Daryl.

What?

- Look, we pay you by the hour, right?

So if she spends more than half of our time

just to come up with insults, what are we paying for?

We can insult each other on our own.

This is why we're here.

- No, we're here because the state says we have

to be here in order to file for divorce,

so let's not pretend like is anything else.

- Daryl, Lola, the reason that you are here is,

because in compliance

with the Family Federal Preservation Act,

in order to dissolve your marriage

you must complete therapy first.

- Doesn't say we have to do it with you though, does it?

- Daryl, you can choose any therapist

you'd like; however, good luck getting

an appointment this year.

This new law has us all swamped.

- We're sorry, Dr. Barrabi, we're just a little on edge.

No apologies necessary.

Call me Angel.

Okay, Angel.

Daryl, it's your turn.

Oh, I get to speak.

What was the question?

What's the sex like?

- I asked your wife to describe what sex was like

with you using one word.

And she said boring.

- Daryl, I want you to express your opinions

and feelings as response not to your wife,

but as a truth, honestly speaking to me.

Dead fish.

- Daryl, I need you to use an adjective

to describe what sex is like with your wife.

- I didn't know this was a English class.

Okay, dead fishy adjective meaning is like having sex

with a dead fish.

- We get it. - Lola.

Okay, Daryl, I understand what you're trying to say.

Daryl and Lola, during these sessions

it's really important that you don't interrupt one another.

You might just discover something you were unaware of.

Lola, what do you think Daryl likes most

about the person you are today?

I don't know, my ass.

Is that an honest answer,

or is that a sarcastic one?

Honestly, I don't know.

I mean, when we first got together

he used to compliment everything I did, everything.

Now I could build a house from the ground up.

I could get a promotion on my job.

Hell, I could save the world.

Matter of fact, I could even suck his dick from the back

and he wouldn't give me a thumbs up,

so to answer your good question honestly, my ass maybe.

- Daryl, what do you think Lola likes most

about the person you are today?

That's easy she likes the fact

that I make less money than her.

Is that an honest answer,

or is that a sarcastic one?

That's a sarcastic answer,

and it's the honest answer.

Look, I'm an accountant.

I hate my job,

but I'm too far into my career to change,

and I make good money,

but she makes great money.

- I am the only black woman at my firm I have to represent.

Anyway, she's always tired,

and the job is the excuse

which is why the sex is dead fishy,

and I want to divorce because I don't like fish.

I want some fucking chicken,

and lamb whatever else is out there.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, I understand the reason

that you are here is because you want to divorce,

okay, I get that; however, during our sessions I asked

that you not use the word.

As you know, it is my job to bring you back

to marital bliss.

- Good luck with that. - Good luck with that.

- I'd like to do an experiment with you.

Have you ever heard of hypnotherapy?

Hypnotherapy?

- Wait, you mean like you dangle a watch in front of us,

and then we fall asleep go to the sunken place

and wake up barking like dog?

Yeah, I'll pass.

So you believe it works then?

I think it's a bullshit.

- So you don't believe I can hypnotize you?

Definitely not.

- So you have no reason not to go along

with this bullshit therapy then, right?

- Wait, wait, wait, I didn't sign up for this.

- I don't wanna spend another month trying

to get another appointment with a different therapist,

do you?

No.

Just play along with it.

Wonderful.

Close your eyes.

Everything in this world moves on a rhythm.

Imagine the rhythm of your breathing.

The rhythm of your heart beating.

Imagine the rhythm of your blood flowing

through your veins from your head to your toes.

Imagine the rhythm of the air blowing

through the trees.

Imagine the cars 40 feet below you.

Imagine the rhythm of the water flowing through the ocean.

Imagine the solar system moving in unison.

Imagine the rhythm of the earth around you.

Imagine the universe and it's rhythm.

When I snap my fingers I want you to open your eyes.

- Oh my God. - Oh, oh shit.

Doc, what did you, what did you do us?

It's okay.

Why do I feel sad?

Yeah, I'm crying.

Are these tears in my eyes?

Yeah, mine too.

Please, please, it's okay.

Please sit down, it's okay.

Everything is okay.

You just came out of hypnosis.

EDITED BY ISMAIL DUSTIN EL MRINI DUSTIN.ISMAIL ISMAIL EL MRINI

The reason I wanted you to undergo hypnotherapy was

so I could get to the root of your problems,

and recommend a treatment.

I know it can be a little disorientating

when you're coming out,

but I promise you, you won't be barking

like a dog anytime soon.

- Okay doc, you win, it worked, you happy?

Are you happy?

How did you feel when you woke up?

- Sad. - Sad.

What did you do to us?

What did you make us experience?

- Daryl, do you wanna know as well?

Definitely.

- Okay, I took you both through scenario exercise.

In the exercise your mind constructs a world according

to the guidance the therapist gives you.

And what was that guidance?

- I instructed you to construct a world

where your spouse simply cease to exist,

and then live in that world for a year.

Hell no.

Hell no doc. - Yeah.

- I appreciate what you just tried to do and everything,

but no, I don't believe it.

You probably put like drops in our eyes to make us cry

when we're asleep but tell the truth.

I mean, it's a little far fetched.

I tell you What?

Why don't you just go ahead and sign this,

and we will be out of your hair forever.

- What was the last time you guys watch the news?

Oh, we don't have cable,

you know, we just watch it off of the internet.

We're saving money.

Antenna?

- Too much information can be a bad thing.

Newspaper?

- Why are you so worried about how we get our news?

- Well, the state just updated the law.

Marriage preservation effective immediately

any couples seeking dissolution

of their marriage must have 50 hours of therapy.

- 50 hours? - 50 hours?

- Yeah, 50 hours guys with the same marriage counselor.

You could move, refile, qualify,

and then get your divorce there.

Yeah. - Okay doc, realistically,

with your schedule how long are we talking?

- The only reason you got an appointment with me is

because I had a couple who reconciled,

so honestly, 49 one hour treatments will take

about three years.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, I cannot go another three years

with this man.