Happy Face Killer

Keith Jesperson, my favorite driver.

How you doing?

Good. So what's in the bag?

Just some presents for Cora and the kids

from the road.

I miss 'em when I'm gone.

Aw, that's sweet you spoil them like that.

Yeah, they're only kids for so long.

Yeah?

Well, my 30-year-old's still living in the garage

trying to build a better bong.

Hey, today's the big day.

The Mounties are calling.

Yeah, I am golden.

I studied that test for a year.

I nailed it.

Took the physical,

nailed it.

And you know what? I look real good on a horse.

Oh, well, I bet you do.

You're not even Canadian,

Jesperson.

I was born in Canada, Dez.

It is the most beautiful place in the world.

And it's a better life for me, Cora and the kids.

Aw...

Dudley Do-Right to the rescue, huh?

That's an animated character and a cliche, Dez.

The actual Mounties are a world-class organization.

Fascinating.

Anyway,

I got stuff coming in every day this week,

so I hope you're around a while.

No one ever complains about you.

Except that we don't see enough of you.

Personally speaking, of course.

Why don't you two get a room?

See you later.

How's Cora and the kids?

A-1.

You know, she's the best thing that ever came along for you,

you know that, right?

She is a saint.

How are you two lovebirds doing?

Up and down.

You and me didn't learn a damn thing

about marriage, huh?

Except what a lousy idea it was.

I'm on my way over

to help pop build a deck.

Why don't you come over?

Sorry.

Oh, no, no, I got it.

Hey...

You okay?

Yukon, here I come.

Hey, he's back!

I'm back from the Crusades!

Anyone home?

Where are you guys?

Hello.

Yes, hello,

this is Colonel Lamaire, from the Canadian police,

calling from Toronto.

I'm trying to reach Mr. Keith Jesperson.

This is Keith speaking.

I've been waiting for your call.

Good afternoon, mister Jesperson.

Good afternoon, Colonel.

How is it up there?

Perfect, I bet.

Yes, very nice up here.

I'm afraid I have some disappointing news, sir.

I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Well, sir,

the RC's have looked over your medical records,

including X-rays of your shoulder,

and I'm very sorry to inform you

we aren't going to be able to move forward

with your application.

Uh, no, Colonel, there must a mistake.

There's nothing wrong with my shoulder.

Someone read the X-ray wrong.

Nonetheless, sir, we cannot dismiss it.

On behalf of the Mounties,

you have my deepest regret, Mr. Jesperson.

I don't understand.

I'm sorry, Mr. Jesperson.

Are you there, sir?

Yeah, I'm here.

Thank you for the call, sir.

"Dear Keith...

...by the time you read this,

I will be at my parents with the kids.

After 14 years together,

I can't continue in our marriage.

You know how much we've grown apart.

I never see you.

You're always on the road.

I've given this a lot of thought,

and I will always care about you,

but it's over.

You can call the kids now and then,

but not me.

Cora."

Special agent Melinda Gand...

The only reason I stay in the FBI.

What about stopping criminals, Anselo?

Protecting America.

I find your patriotism exciting.

I thought you were getting married.

What happened, she get to know you?

You know, Gand,

specializing in crimes against women

is taking the romance out of your life.

Is that right?

I sense a secret hunger in you

for something more thrilling

than blood spatter

and wiretaps.

We should have dinner and talk about it sometime.

Anselo, I owe you an apology.

See, I was under the mistaken impression

that you were living in this century.

Some people would take what you just said

as sexual harassment.

MaybeIi should ask special agent in charge Kuttner

what he thinks?

All I'm saying is you should join the human race sometime

and go on a date with someone, Gand.

Can't hurt.

Did last time.

I'm so sorry, Keith.

I'm sure she'll...

No, Cora, she's stubborn.

And I, I really screwed up, Diane.

Guess I worked too hard.

I was just trying to make a living.

I'm sorry.

I already miss the kids so much.

I'm sure they miss you, too.

I didn't mean to hurt them,

or Cora.

We all mess up.

You should see my list.

I should get back to work.

Thank you so much.

I just really needed someone to talk to.

Anytime.

Hold onto my arm.

Here, hold on.

You've reached Cora Jesperson...

You've reached Cora Jesperson.

Please leave a message.

Hey, Cora, it's me.

Um...

Just called to say I'm sorry.

You know...

I know I screwed up,

but I wanted you to know that I love you.

And the kids.

I never thought I was a bad father or nothing,

but I do understand that I have to be a...

better husband.

So if it's all right,

I'd like to come see you at your folks.

If that's all right.

Let me know.

Alright bye.

So she walked out, just like that?

Just like that.

You gotta get back on that horse, pal.

Nice shot.

Thanks.

I'm a natural.

Yes, you are.

What's your name?

Sissy.

Peyton.

Sissy... I love that name.

Oh, nice one.

Really?

Yeah.

Where you from?

I don't live too far.

What's your name?

Keith,

which means "of the forest."

"Of the forest?"

Like... bears?

Yeah, like bears.

I love bears.

Really?

Take it easy, papa bear.

You want it off?

Yeah.

And what if I don't?

Don't be like that.

Ooh, the forest bear doesn't like that.

Why are you calling me that?